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AIBU?

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Original poster

Stop saying 'myself and...'

187 replies

Ridiculous24 · 16/02/2024 04:46

I'm sorry, I'm grumpy.
It's everywhere.
The top level at work are now using it. They have English degrees.

OP posts:

sorrynotathome · 16/02/2024 07:38

It’s not “more formal” it’s just self-obsessed, like many people nowadays. It literally is all about me me me.

Notahotmess · 16/02/2024 07:38

PrincessTeaSet · 16/02/2024 07:35

And yet when children are taught grammar in school it's all totally unnecessary, "well I never learned grammar and I 'm ok" etc

My spelling and grammar are up to standard because of the amount I read, not because I was taught the rules of grammar. I find it intuitive.

Despite having grammar rules drilled into them from an early age now, I think the general standard of writing among teenagers and younger people is pretty dreadful.

Cosyblankets · 16/02/2024 07:36

iceskater1 · 16/02/2024 05:30

Yes it is obvious in your example, but that isn't quite the way in which OP is describing its use.

Your example is in the passive voice, where it's obviously incorrect. OP is describing it used as the subject in the active voice, i.e.

"Myself and Judy are in the office today"
(rather than "Judy and I").

It's not technically correct but I don't have a problem with it.

Show quote history

Myself and Judy sounds ridiculous

youcandanceifyouwanna · 16/02/2024 07:36

I don't understand how or why the incorrect use of 'myself' crept into the language. 30 years ago I don't remember hearing it used in this way. It's similiar to 'sat' used incorrectly, e.g 'I was sat at the bus stop', which when I was a child part of working class colloquial speech and a sign of a lack of education. Now it's crept into formal writing.

nighttimeforgenerals88 · 16/02/2024 07:36

It drives me mad. I see it so much now, but luckily don't hear it so often.

I've started looking down on those who use it. If that makes me a snob then, quite frankly, I'm a snob 🤣

PrincessTeaSet · 16/02/2024 07:35

And yet when children are taught grammar in school it's all totally unnecessary, "well I never learned grammar and I 'm ok" etc

Itscatsallthewaydown · 16/02/2024 07:33

There’s a Pedant’s Corner for this kind of linguistic policing.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 16/02/2024 07:33

The lingustic equivalent of a cheap shiny suit.

Notahotmess · 16/02/2024 07:32

The other one that does my head in is when people say "your be" as in "your be OK" rather than "you'll be OK". Just why?! It doesn't even make sense.

Notahotmess · 16/02/2024 07:29

Yes this drives me MAD. For some reason I think people do it to sound more professional?!

YouOKHun · 16/02/2024 07:28

Yep, misuse of the reflexive pronoun. As others have said, I think it is seen as more sophisticated or a more formal way to communicate by some. It’s jarring and doesn’t make sense.

NoNameisGoodEnough · 16/02/2024 07:13

The 'myself' thing makes me cringe. No, it doesn't sound more formal, it sounds ridiculous.

The mother of my childhood friend used to constantly correct her use of '... and I' so I always hear her voice whenever I think of which one to use.

TheShellBeach · 16/02/2024 06:46

I get irrationally angry when I read or hear "super" instead of "very".

E.g. I'm super busy.

Aaarrrggghhhh

Thepeopleversuswork · 16/02/2024 06:45

Wackadaywideawake · 16/02/2024 06:42

BBC News is at it this morning. It would (should!) have been read by a BBC sub editor before going live.

Wow. That’s pretty poor.

Wackadaywideawake · 16/02/2024 06:42

BBC News is at it this morning. It would (should!) have been read by a BBC sub editor before going live.

Ricinpeas · 16/02/2024 06:31

Anyotherdude · 16/02/2024 06:19

I was going to agree…

… then you used “it’s like” instead of “it’s as if” in a subsequent comment.
But then I thought that I must be feeling grumpy, too!😁

Grrr, the use of 'like' instead of 'such as'.
The soup was full of vegatables like carrot and swede. Which veggies are like carrots and swedes?
whereas the soup was full of vegetables such as carrot and swede, illustrates the point

Original poster

Ridiculous24 · 16/02/2024 06:27

then you used “it’s like” instead of “it’s as if” in a subsequent comment.
But then I thought that I must be feeling grumpy, too!😁

😁true! I also can't figure out the linguistic arguments on this thread 😁.

OP posts:

Lifebeganat50 · 16/02/2024 06:23

Sparklfairy · 16/02/2024 05:15

It's infiltrated so much. For some reason it can sound more formal/sophisticated because people use it incorrectly in professional settings and every time I'm tempted to use it I end up googling whether it's appropriate, even though I know the grammar rule. 90%+ of the time I was tempted to use it incorrectly, I blame SM.

I like the rule of thumb about 'removing the third person from the sentence':

DH and myself went to the cinema = Myself went to the cinema makes no sense
DH and I went to the cinema = I went to the cinema

Edited

It doesn’t sound more formal and sophisticated. It sounds ignorant and pretentious

Itwasafterallallaboutme · 16/02/2024 06:23

I'm sorry @Garlickit, you didn't have all of those responses when I started my reply! 💐

Itwasafterallallaboutme · 16/02/2024 06:20

Garlickit · 16/02/2024 05:19

While we're at it, can we also kill "Fred and I" when it should be "and me"? Sometimes we even get "Fred and I's thing", which is piling insanity upon abomination!

Hi @Garlickit can you expand the sentence on your example please, and maybe give two or three more examples, as I don't think that I understand exactly what you mean? I will just give a few examples of when I think the different pronouns should be used:

"Oh yes, Fred and I went swimming this morning in that newly opened swimming pool in 'town's name', it was great not having to go all the way to 'name of nearest city', just to have a swim".

"Fred and I are going to the 'big' Sainsbury's tomorrow, you know, the one near Jo's new house? If you would like any shopping, can you give Fred or me a shopping list please?"

"Unfortunately, I never find any of Fred's jokes funny, and you know how much he loves telling jokes, but he told me one last night that actually had me peeing myself with laughter!"

I apologise for any other grammatical mistakes I* *have made here. I only reached 'O' level - grade 5 - standard in both English language, and English literature, and that was a very long time ago... 🤭

Anyotherdude · 16/02/2024 06:19

I was going to agree…

… then you used “it’s like” instead of “it’s as if” in a subsequent comment.
But then I thought that I must be feeling grumpy, too!😁

iceskater1 · 16/02/2024 05:51

Garlickit · 16/02/2024 05:44

@iceskater1

-This depends where it is in the sentence.

"Fred and I went to the shops" is grammatically correct.
"Fred and me went to the shops" is not.

... etc, at some length.

Did you not think that might be why I said "Fred and I" when it should be "and me"?

Obviously, if Fred and I are the subjects of the sentence, it should not be "and me".

Edited

Not to get bogged down into linguistics/ sidetracked too much from the OP, but there are two interpretations of your sentence in bold, one of which warranted an explanation.

Herbiebanannas · 16/02/2024 05:47