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Original poster

Stop saying 'myself and...'

187 replies

Ridiculous24 · 16/02/2024 04:46

I'm sorry, I'm grumpy.
It's everywhere.
The top level at work are now using it. They have English degrees.

OP posts:
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AllMyExesWearRolexes · 20/02/2025 10:55

I heard a woman on a train talking to her friend and describing a conversation with her other half "and then he turned around and went..."
Can't stand that expression. However, I do like to use "outwith", it's a great word and a perfectly normal Scots term, also used professionally for "outside" or "beyond".
Examples might be "outwith the curtilage of the property" or "outwith the scope of VAT". Surprising the amount of people who don't know it or think it's not a real word.
See also people who think "discrete" is a mistake and I must have meant "discreet" so amend my drafts accordingly...

ApplesinmyPocket · 20/02/2025 10:14

As well as the grating 'I was laying on my bed', some take it up a notch - 'I was led on my bed.'

Why? this makes no sense at all!

I also can't bear the now ubiquitous 'I was sat/stood there' which seems to have been generally accepted by newspapers, newsreaders, the BBC and 95% of MN. People are so desperate to use it they pop it in superfluously, preferring 'I was stood next to Eva', where 'I was next to Eva' would do perfectly well.

My other most hated thing is everyone using 'thuh' all the time now, when English convention is to use 'thee' before a vowel. So, nowadays we get 'in THUH east', 'THUH ocean', 'in thuh EU.To my ear that makes a horrible jarring stop between two words which would flow much better as 'thee east' and 'thee ocean' and 'thee EU'.

As for the OP, my daughter had a mortgage broker once who peppered his speech and his emails with things like, "when I met with yourselfs last week, you said to myself that.."

He was a damn good broker though and got them a very decent mortgage! 😀

Biffbaff · 20/02/2025 09:03

People saying "who cares, if other people can understand me?" - other people care. Poor grammar may affect your job prospects or how much other people respect you in general. You may be at risk of being ripped off or exploited because you sound like somebody stupid, so the assumption is that you are.

OVienna · 20/02/2025 08:55

Theedgeoftheabyss · 16/02/2024 07:51

I've found my people. I fear that if I were to raise it where I work, I would be banished to the naughty corner.
P.s - if I was or were? Never quite sure. Yes. I'm a hypocrite.

Were.

Ddakji · 20/02/2025 08:36

I once had a very young woman serve me in a shop telling me that the item she recommended (an inanimate object) would be “idealistic for yourself”.

I actually felt so cross that someone had instructed her to use longer words to sound more impressive when it just made her sound stupid. I didn’t say anything, I should add - she looked barely 20.

Agree about I and me, though it’s more annoying in written than spoken English, depending on the formality of the occasion.

DelphiniumBlue · 20/02/2025 08:34

Bigdoglittlecat · 16/02/2024 07:52

I always call it estate agent language. It’s the sort of thing that’s rife in that profession- incorrect, over-flowery language by people who are trying to make themselves sound clever. I judge anyone who uses it enormously.

I agree, I think it sounds pretentious, and smacks of self-importance.

AlpacaMittens · 20/02/2025 08:16

I use it sometimes 😭 usage is pretty random. In my head, it sounds less self centred than "I" 😭

I'm not a native speaker so you can't make fun of me.

🙈

MegTheForgetfulCat · 20/02/2025 08:13

Notahotmess · 16/02/2024 07:32

The other one that does my head in is when people say "your be" as in "your be OK" rather than "you'll be OK". Just why?! It doesn't even make sense.

A similar one is people writing "they'll" as a contraction of "there will" instead of "there"ll" Angry

JandamiHash · 20/02/2025 08:11

I also hate “was” used in the context of “were”. Yes I know it’s a regional thing but come on try harder. I Listened to a podcast with Jo from S Club 7 and it was all “We was filming in Miami” and “It wasn’t like we was fighting or anything”. And I thought come on Jo, you’re a woman in your 40’s, grow up.

JandamiHash · 20/02/2025 08:09

YANBU. It made watching The Traitors completely unbearable. “Myself is voting for yourself tonight”.

Reallyyyyyy · 20/02/2025 08:01

In my book, you know what they are saying, you know what they mean. I can't get worked up about things like this. Especially when my grammar is equally as bad. Don't let it ruin your day!

mamajong · 20/02/2025 08:01

Ugh I hate this, often said by wide boy sales people to try to make them sound clever...it doesn't! 🤮

CaptainMyCaptain · 20/02/2025 07:57

iceskater1 · 16/02/2024 05:23

It is a funny one with "Myself" as the subject of the sentence. I suppose it's not really grammatically correct, but it doesn't bother me all that much. It just sounds a bit more formal I suppose?

Language changes all the time, it's fluid like water, not solid. If enough people use a word in a certain way for long enough then it becomes correct. The rules are in constant flux and they are not always regular.

I think it's OK.

It doesn't sound more formal it is WRONG.

XWKD · 20/02/2025 07:52

Garlickit · 16/02/2024 05:19

While we're at it, can we also kill "Fred and I" when it should be "and me"? Sometimes we even get "Fred and I's thing", which is piling insanity upon abomination!

YES!

Westfacing · 20/02/2025 07:51

Wackadaywideawake · 16/02/2024 06:42

BBC News is at it this morning. It would (should!) have been read by a BBC sub editor before going live.

That is bad!

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 20/02/2025 07:47

banivani · 17/02/2024 10:31

The glottal stop I believe is typical for certain London accents and is actually spreading now, including to American accents that haven’t previously had it. Check out Dr Geoff Lindsay on Youtube.

Yes, that's true (Londoner here). It is natural to some London accents but not everyone in London. What I object to is people who grew up without using the glottal stop suddenly adopting it. For one thing, it doesn't help people from elsewhere or hard of hearing to understand your speech and it is also unbearably phoney. I first noticed this in the 1980s when a junior doctor where I worked spoke in what would 20 years later become labelled "estuarine accent" (not any genuine London accent). Some of her colleagues later told me that when she was a fellow medical student her natural accent had been home counties RP.

PeridotSparkle · 20/02/2025 07:25

PeridotSparkle · 20/02/2025 07:21

It sounds like they are trying to sound mire intelligent but it has the complete opposite effect!

More! (Still need an edit button mumsnet)

PeridotSparkle · 20/02/2025 07:24

YouOKHun · 16/02/2024 07:28

Yep, misuse of the reflexive pronoun. As others have said, I think it is seen as more sophisticated or a more formal way to communicate by some. It’s jarring and doesn’t make sense.

It sounds ignorant.

RosesAndHellebores · 20/02/2025 07:23

PeridotSparkle · 20/02/2025 07:21

It sounds like they are trying to sound mire intelligent but it has the complete opposite effect!

I think they are covering up their ignorance.

ItShouldntHappenToMeYet · 20/02/2025 07:23

Ridiculous24 · 16/02/2024 04:46

I'm sorry, I'm grumpy.
It's everywhere.
The top level at work are now using it. They have English degrees.

I had an email stating;
"...please revert to myself with dates you can do".
I thought I'd had a stroke. Then I thought the writer may have had a stroke that made them think they were writing posh and formally, but had no idea

RosesAndHellebores · 20/02/2025 07:22

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 18/02/2024 09:48

’There is’ with a plural rouses my pedant-ire every time.

It must be nice not to care about such things, or not to notice them.

Show quote history

I couldn't agree more. The DC had a primary head teacher who did it.

PeridotSparkle · 20/02/2025 07:21

It sounds like they are trying to sound mire intelligent but it has the complete opposite effect!

PeridotSparkle · 20/02/2025 07:20

Gives me the rage too OP.
I judge.

BeCosyLion · 20/02/2025 07:07

iceskater1 · 16/02/2024 05:26

This depends where it is in the sentence.

"Fred and I went to the shops" is grammatically correct.
"Fred and me went to the shops" is not.

"Jen went to the shops with Fred and me/ myself" is grammatically correct.
"Jen went to the shops with Fred and I" is not.

Take Fred out of the equation and you can easily see why:

"I went to the shops" vs "me went to the shops"
"Jen went to the shops with me"/ "Jen went to the shops with I"

Show quote history

Agree with most of this but “Jen went to the shops with Fred and myself” is not grammatically correct. Replace myself with me.

BeadedBubbles · 21/02/2024 21:59

Just listened to Stephen Flynn talking about the speaker treating 'myself and my colleagues with contempt'. It's everywhere!!