To think my friend should come to me?

Or

"You don't need to make anything up to me. I'm sorry you can't make the wedding but I understand. Let me know when you have a day / weekend free to travel up to HERE for a change"

He might not want to treat you to dinner AND travel so leave the treat but and he might actually come to you

I think if you usually go there it's reasonable to say "Sounds like you have a lot on that day already. How about you let me know a time when you're free to come up to here or we could meet in TOWN that should be easy for us both to get to"

Why does he need to take you out if he can’t make your wedding? It’s just one of those things… meet up when you both can next? Seems a bit dramatic

It sounds like this friendship has run it's course OP. I don't blame you for not wanting to make a long journey here.

@weddingwaiting
My apologies for posting on your long-ago thread…
I hope your wedding was lovely and everything you wished for. Congratulations.
I feel like your dilemma with your friend the same way I feel about brides who ask their bridesmaids to purchase expensive, extravagant bridesmaids’ dresses — they ask them a favour and then punish them for it.
Your friend wanted to do you a favour, but you had to do all the work.
I don’t think people realize their selfishness sometimes.
It’s a mystery, it is.

This

You say his reasons are valid but you feel he needs to grovel about them?

I’d just say to him that he never comes to see you at your house, so when is he next free to do so.

Sounds like more of a chore than a treat for you! I wouldn't bother, just say you're really busy between now and the wedding. If he really wanted to see you he'd come to you. Have a lovely wedding ☺️💐

Then I'm guessing the friendship turns into one where you don't see each other that often.
Which is okay. A lot of friendships are either 'of a time' or at least they change over time.

YABU. He's probably disappointed himself he can't make the wedding. He doesn't need to apologise.
Presumably this is an open invitation for "When you are next here, I'll treat you to dinner".

I think a lot of how reasonable it is to expect friends to do a longer or trickier journey depends on who moved away.
If you both grew up in 'rural East of England' then I'd expect to see friend when they came home and not expect to do much traveling. If you were friends in London and you made the decision to move away, then I'd expect you to do most of the traveling. If you both met at university in Leeds or somewhere and then moved to different places, then I'd expect the person who lived in the more "appealing" place to host more. That might be someone who lived by a lovely beach, or in a lovely mountain range, or in a capital city. It is less likely to be someone who lives miles from anywhere.
That's not a criticism of where you live - it suits you - but is one consideration of choosing to live in a remote place.

@weddingwaiting he'd like to apologise for not being able to attend, then he has to do the "heavy lifting" surely?

If or when, he is in your area, then say you'd be delighted to meet up.

Have a wonderful wedding day.

Just say you've got so much on with the wedding let you know when he can visit near you as it would help massively?

Just say you can’t make those dates, and when will he be free to come and visit you and leave it

Don’t take him up on the dinner, and just have dinner near you with your DP?

It’s an offer of a dinner on your friends terms - and that is absolutely fine. Just as the invite to the wedding was on your terms, also fine. No apologies or grovels required and no schlepping needed.

It's ok to say you don't really want to travel up to London but thanks for the thought.

LOL, Londoners hate leaving London. The only time a lot of Londoners leave London is to go abroad.

You should take turns really, but I'd enjoy a night out in London with a friend. I'd probably stay over too. Or just not meet up at all. If you're getting married next month you must be super busy at the moment anyway.

Well is it because he wants to take you somewhere particular in London? There are a lot more options!
Just tell him you don't want to go down to him and he needs to come to you.

Whilst I do appreciate he should make an effort and come and see you (not questioning that) - I don't understand why your travel is a schlep to London that's a pain, but his journey to yours isn't?

Why is it so unthinkable for you and all the other posters here that he travels to OP for once?

So far the slots my friend has offered to meet me are after work or in between other things he has going on so practically speaking it wouldn’t work for him to come here which would mean I would have to travel to London, which I hate, to receive my apology/treat dinner.

You do realise that he has deliberately offered you slots that force you to travel to him, right? As always.

You’re a mug if you fall for it.

Could you wait for a time when he is able to meet you halfway, even if it's after the wedding? You could look at the photos with him!

@weddingwaiting Ah, sorry, I didn't get that bit. In which case yeah, they should make the effort to come to you. Or half way? It might take longer to arrange a date but don't go to London if you don't like it.