Sad my grandchildren will go to boarding school

It's no longer the 1930s. Boarding schools now are fantastic places. Excellent academics, good food, plenty of extra curricular activities and their friends around them all the time.
I never understand why most Mumsnetters are so against them.

I don't like the idea of boarding school, though have met some people who seem happy and said they enjoyed it. I guess I can't understand UK parents sending their kids away to school a couple of hours away when they could do so at a day school near home. If they move countries frequently it might be the only feasible option. You can keep in close contact with them and they can see you on breaks etc so you will be able to still be supportive. It seems sad but if that's their lifestyle I can't see any way round it unless the child lives with someone else near to a non boarding school?

On the flip side. My DF was in the forces and we moved very 3 years. I went to 7 different schools and can say it didn’t do me any harm. I’m outgoing and can speak to anybody. I’m very good at making friends which has made me (so I’m told) an excellent mentor at work 😀

When you have a 2yo, a 7yo seems huge and capable. They may change their mind when the time comes. DH moved around a lot as child and changed schools every few years and it badly affected his education. There is something to be said for the stability of school for a family who move a lot.

I can understand why you feel sad OP but if they seem pretty set in the idea then you may just have to trust they know what they're doing and focus on the positives - good education, good food, lots of activities with friends and they will come out with a lot more opportunities than most children.

I am a product of boarding school and it is still a popular choice where I live.

Many kids that I boarded with were there because their parents moved a lot. I think it's worse to keep uprooting a child every few years when it's possible to have a more stable schooling.

I don't know why it gets such a negative rap. I enjoyed my time, and am still in contact with many of my school mates now 30 years on.

It may not be hugely popular in UK but it is in other countries.

Materially, yes, but that hasn’t saved my Dad or best friend from their post-boarding neuroses.

They are very lucky children. They will have an incredibly privileged lifestyle.

When they see how small their 7 year old is, they might change their minds.

@MiMaMe if you're within striking distance of any boarding schools in the UK you could suggest it to your son and DIL. Boarding schools these days welcome parents and grandparents in far more for concerts, sport, plays, etc than in the past. If your son and DIL are travelling all the time, it might be a great chance to say to them that you could be close by to do all those things plus exeats, half terms etc. If you respect their decision to choose boarding, you might even end up seeing your GCs even more than you would if they moved every 2 years with their parents.

I know you say they're unlikely to choose the UK but you never know, and having you close by offering to help with the extra times might sway them towards a UK school.

They might feel very very differently when their kids are a bit older and actually at the age to board. I never would have considered it, but now DS is 11 the thought fills me with horror. I know plenty of people who boarded, and none chose it for their own kids.

It is all a very long way off.

I don’t know many people who liked boarding

Apart from your DIL apparently, who said it was incredible.

Are you offering to home educate them?

Worry about it when it happens. Full boarding before 11 is increasingly rare these days and there are not actually many full boarding schools left in uk at all ( a majority of sc go home most weekends). In any event, they may find themselves more settled by then and end up at day school.

Some kids love it and thrive, others hate it.

Some kids really want to go because all their peers are, to others it would be their idea of hell.

I imagine your child knows their own children and will do what's best for them

I know lots of people who boarded from 11 and generally they are all really positive about it. I think you need to keep out of it.

I only know two people who went to boarding school and they both loved it. Maybe your DDIL was the same. Leave it to them to decide if it's right for their child.

Perhaps you could ask them to consider one near you, so that you could host your grandchildren for exeats and half terms?

Your DIL obviously had a really positive experience boarding - maybe ask her to tell you more about that? Keep an open mind.

YANBU. I know a lot of people who boarded. Any who started before 12 are definitely affected by it (different for those who were older and had more of a say in it).

We did have an overseas, moving around lifestyle. Gave it up to send our kids to the village school, friends in walking distance. Life feels a lot smaller but I don’t regret it for a second.

Do you live commuting distance from any schools they’d consider? If you do, and it suited you, could you offer to have the DC live with you and travel to school daily when the time comes?