Sick of pretending to wear heels

I don't get this 'appropriate' for a wedding thing, I would think it's best for guests to go as the better version of themselves, so I'd be fine with DMs, but then I don't care if you wear DMs at a funeral either. I don't have the kind of family who would be inspecting footwear or commenting on attire at either occasion though.

Yes, but you don't seem to have grasped that this thread isn't about your particular challenging extra special feet.

Perhaps you could take my word for it that my options are limited?
I don’t need a thread. I know what fits me and where to buy it.
Im just a bit sad about the number of people who will look at me and think I’m rude/inappropriately dressed/attention seeking/haven’t made an effort.
Then again, people in real life don’t seem to do it. It’s a MN thing, this judgement of anyone slightly different from you.

Well obviously. My cousin went to a friend's wedding recently. Full on gothic attire. That's their style. Everyone there is very much in the alternative scene and they looked fantastic. Most weddings aren't like this and if the OP cares about the people who's wedding she's attending she should be asking them. Not Mumsnet.

If she's just going to wear those boots because she bloody well wants to then that's disrespectful.

Yes, @BeachBeerBbq
Im fed up of people telling me Pavers are comfy and do big sizes. They d9nt. They just pretend they do. I’m not sure what the purpose is, to be honest. People aren’t going to buy shoes that don’t fit, surely?

Perhaps you could create your own thread where you can list each and every shoe you cannot possibly wear?

i think heels being obligatory is quite an old fashioned point of view , im in my twenties and have never felt as though i had to wear heels. i never do and nobody has ever commented on it

I’d say wear what you like.

Have you tried Fly style wedges with very chunky soles?

https://www.legendfootwear.co.uk/products/fly-london-beso246fly-cool-leather-womens-shoes-8377

https://www.legendfootwear.co.uk/products/fly-london-baxe428fly-leather-womens-shoes-8570

Watch out for pavers with mis sizing eu/UK

You don’t think I’m more aware of what will work on my feet than you?
I didn’t bother with all t(e other details before, but I also need insoles to support hyper mobile feet and ankles, so it needs to be a full shoe. I can’t have the ‘edge’ of the shoe where that finishes. This isn’t fussing - I get blisters and blood very, very fast. I’d also be willing to bet that even what they call a 12 isn’t a 10. Whoever a company says that and I order it turns out that, while their ‘standard’ size 5 and 6 are true to size they just get relatively smaller as they go up the range.

As size 8.5-9 with flat flop I am well into sketchers and mens shoes (some of which are same like women's just wider and bigger size! - looking at you Toms) lots of shoes are unisex at the end of the day.
Ballerinas are usually shite because the heel isn't lifted at all.

I didn't grow in in IK our rage were DC shpes❤️ Ah the comfort

I'd like to add to the sizing thing.

Most shops will say they stock size 3s. But the European size inside is 36. 36 is a 3.5.

If you're a small 3 (ie can get away with a 2.5), a 36 is massive!

I like heels but now in my 50’s and had sever bunions since birth I can’t wear heels now. No one has to use heels.

DMs are not appropriate for a wedding full stop for both women and men.

That depends on the wedding surely?

Lovely boots. Better for trousers than a dress I’d say.
However, they are a prime example of the mis-sizing I referred to earlier. Look at the EU size compared to U.K. size on this chart. Birkie has 44 as a 9.5. This company has it as size 11. I need a 44 in sandals but a 45 really in shoes. Nobody but Birkies and DMs do them (and I get cross that they don’t even do their more feminine styles that big a lot of the time).

exactly well said,

No i am not - but am sure there are a few option
Quick google for me - found these available in a US size 12 which is a UK size 10
Journee Collection Nysha Flat - Free Shipping | DSW - suitable for a dressy event
DMs are not appropriate for a wedding full stop for both women and men. Regardless if they are clean etc . Regardless of weather you like it or not.

Of course clothing can be respectful or disrespectful. It's part of the fabric of society. There is a reason you wouldn't wear certain attire to weddings, funerals, christenings, even to your place of work.

Just look at the frothing whenever there's a thread on MN about people getting their messages in in their pyjamas.

Yes your choice of clothing or footwear can be disrespectful. It's utter nonsense to suggest this isn't the case.

What about something like this?

Loro - Black & Gold Gloss – Embassy London

None of those shapes are wearable for me. Blisters within seconds. I can’t have an ‘edge’ at the top of my toe line/across the ball of my foot.
Edit: nit even DM Mary Jane’s or loafers.

If everyone there will be traditionally dressed then your DMs will be a statement. If its one you're happy to make, then fine. If you're a person who prefers to blend in then you'd do better wearing flat shoes. There's so many to choose from that are comfy and dressy you won't struggle.

So do you suggest I go barefoot then?
I don’t get ‘not suitable’. They are clean. Well made. Expensive even. Not obscene. What’s the lack of suitability for any occasion?

Shoes are neither respectful nor disrespectful. They are shoes. Anyone who is actually offended by the footwear of an individual guest at their wedding (unless it's shoes with rude slogans on) is either not sufficiently absorbed by the excitement of their day or needs to give their head a wobble.

I get that however a size 10 for women is highly unusual. I am sorry that you have your issue but it is unique
Whatever your size DM are not appropriate for a wedding

I'm wearing dms to my own wedding!