Sick of pretending to wear heels

I wouldnt invite people to my wedding and expect them to conform to the Insta pic style if that's totally out of their comfort zone.

i have lots of friends that have colourful hair, tattoos and live in DM's. I wouldn't expect them to ditch the fun hair and wear a flowery dress and heels! I'd want them to be comfortable and enjoy the day as much as everybody else. Quirky is cool

@Maybebabble

You think it’s selfish to not conform. I think it’s selfish to dictate conformity.

What a woeful misrepresentation of what I'm saying. Obviously you didn't understand the first time.

I'll say it again.

The OP doesn't have to conform. If the bride is happy with it she can crack on. She can also wear these shoes any other time she wants. No one gives a shit.

But in life you have to give and take with other people beyond the teenage attitude of "I'll do what I want when I want."

There are some times in life when these shoes are not appropriate. Weddings and christenings would be an example. Many workplaces also would not accept these shoes.

I worked with a teacher who was spoken to because she kept coming to the classroom with very high heels studded with spikes. Not appropriate.

Adults who aren't selfish will navigate the world and it's social norms because they have progressed beyond adolescence.

The OP could ask the bride. Maybe she can wear them, maybe it's important to the bride that she picks something more appropriate to her wedding. That is not about dictating conformity, it's about respecting other people, just giving one tiny shit about another person and a special day in their life.

It's weird the pressure we feel to attend weddings and other occasions not really as ourselves.

Wear the boots.

@EarthyMangold It depends on the dress, but I would go with the DM boots. It sounds like you're going to be dressed smartly which is entirely appropriate attire for a wedding. Wear the shoes you want and are comfortable in.

How many people here can actually remember what guests wore to their wedding? I know what I wore and what my H wore. Beyond that, I would have to go and look at photos. And the ones of my guests are mostly large groups or head shots. No idea what any of them had on their feet!

I understood your point the first time, thanks.

You think it’s selfish to not conform. I think it’s selfish to dictate conformity.

We have different values. Yours are no more valid than mine.

I can’t imagine giving a shit about what other people are wearing to a wedding. I certainly didn’t care at my own. Wear what you feel comfortable in.

Sorry OP but they are awful- especially for a wedding

Wear what you like, if you aren't the bride I don't suppose anyone will be bothered. Even if they are I can't imagine anyone being so rude that they'd comment. I've never worn DMs but sounds like they are comfortable.

I'm sure I heard about a bride who wore white DMs but I can't think if it was a friend/colleagues DD or a celebrity.

@Maybebabble

I obviously have less judgmental friends than you. They like me would invite the person and not be upset by the attire. Inclusive, welcoming, kind.

I would say the people who spend their time concerned with how others dress have the poor attitude. But then we all have different moral standards.

My friends and I wouldn't turn up to someone's wedding in the boots that OP has posted. Neither would we turn up in jeans and a tshirt or a pair of crocs.

Our moral standards are that we don't just think about ourselves and to hell with everyone else.

If the OP asks and it's fine then there isn't a problem. If she just shows up wearing them because she wants to, that's selfish.

In contrast, although I am a staunch advocate for DMs with dresses, I HATE Chelsea boots with dresses. They are too big round my ankles, flap about and make me look short and dumpy! (I am short, but a size 6). I don't like any of those looks, although I did have that blue dress in the middle picture at one point (Fatface, from about 8 years ago!).

There are loads of wedding appropriate DMs that look a lot better than heels. This is just an example of their summer range, but they also have loafers and Mary Jane’s in lovely colours so why not treat yourself 😁

https://www.drmartens.com/uk/en_gb/ramsey-suede-kiltie-buckle-creepers-fondant-pink/p/31501446

I think you should wear the DMs, but make sure the dress is the complete opposite of casual. I hate the way wedding guests turn up looking nothing like themselves, but as if they're in seem sort of wedding guest fancy dress costume.

There's DMs and DMs though. If gashed to shit, I wouldn't wear them to a wedding. But if they are in good condition (or even better, the pretty ones), then I don't see why not.

I wouldn't care if this was my wedding. Probably wouldn't notice.

I obviously have less judgmental friends than you. They like me would invite the person and not be upset by the attire. Inclusive, welcoming, kind.

I would say the people who spend their time concerned with how others dress have the poor attitude. But then we all have different moral standards.

My sister wore white DM boots for her wedding. They looked great.

It also depends on the weather/time of wedding, for a winter/early Spring wedding lots of people will be wearing black shoes and boots of varying chunkiness, after that time you will look too hot and bothered and it just doesn't have the same vibe later in the year.

I wore heels to a wedding recently. I think I was the only one. 😩

All other guests were in flat, clunky shoes and the bride's mother had on some rather fabulous purple doc martin shoes.

Unless this is some kind of uber posh society wedding, I think you'll be good in whatever you want to wear, tbh.

It’s very Cyndi Lauder 1986.

Recently went to a family wedding where the bride wore pink Doc Martens under a traditional white dress

Blimey

I’m pointing out that people’s judgement is unhelpful. Threads drift depending on who posts on them.
I’m also not being so bloody unpleasant. How rude you are to use that tone about ‘extra special feet’. Way more disrespectful than wearing comfortable shoes to a wedding. Do you think I like being so limited?

You have a hell of a life with your poor feet @cardibach

My wee granny gets her shoes on prescription and manages to wear appropriate shoes for weddings, funerals and christenings.

She's got a lot of issues with her feet too. I'll buy her those Fashiola fake DMs the OP posted since they're so comfy. She'll be well chuffed. Reckon they do them in a size 3?

They are awful, how can they be comfortable.?
I appreciate it's fashion but come on, seriously, a pretty dress and these monstrosities.!!

I like boots like that with dresses! Some internet examples:

24017201.81 (768×961) (amplience.net)

P1250035.JPG (1106×2048) (bp.blogspot.com)

IMG_5099-982x1590.jpg (982×1590) (curvilyfashion.com)

Didn't know that about the inconsistent size equivalence! How annoying.