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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sick of pretending to wear heels

415 replies

EarthyMangold · 13/02/2024 08:16

I am in my mid 40s and I never learned how to wear high heels. When I was young it was the 1990s/early 2000s and we all wore doc martens or trainers with pretty dresses. I work in an industry wear high heels are inappropriate. I own a couple of pairs of carefully chosen "comfortable" heels and have worn them very occasionally for weddings/special occasions, but I really can't deal with them at all. They look nice, but I walk very strangely in them and always end up barefoot after a couple of hours because they are so uncomfortable.
I have been invited to a friend's wedding this month and I would really like to enjoy it. I am thinking to wear a black and pink dress with long (new) doc marten style boots a la 1995. I know I could get some flat "ladies" shoes but I really don't want to. I love wearing DMs and to me, it's a good look. Since it is February and the UK I am hoping to get away with it.

YABU - heels are obligatory for female wedding guests, I should at least wear flat pumps.
YANBU - I am way over-thinking this one, nobody gives a toss what I wear and the boots will look awesome.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
Laiste · 13/02/2024 08:27

I've put YANBU because YANBU to not wear heels. No need for heels.

But I'd agree with others that DMs might not have a weddingy effort to dress up vibe.

Butterdishy · 13/02/2024 08:26

Fine not to wear heels. DMs aren't wedding attire. Find a different shoe.

Pigeonqueen · 13/02/2024 08:26

There’s definitely a middle ground between DMs and heels!

WimpoleHat · 13/02/2024 08:25

You don’t have to wear high heels for a wedding, or anywhere else. But there’s a whole range of options between a pair of stilettos and a pair of Doc Marten boots. Can’t you find a nice pair of smartish flat shoes for the occasion? DMs will look like a bit of a statement, whether you want them to or not.

Talipesmum · 13/02/2024 08:24

I don’t understand why you’re making this about heels. Nobody thinks you should have to wear heels to anything. Your post is actually “DMs vs all other shoes of any sort”.

PegasusReturns · 13/02/2024 08:24

There are hundreds of alternatives to wearing heels or DMs, many of which are more appropriate for wearing to a wedding which unless it is particularly casual will require something more formal.

if you insist on DMs know at least half the attendees will interpret that as @EarthyMangold couldn’t be bothered to make an effort.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 13/02/2024 08:23

I think it depends on the style of wedding. For some, that look will be perfectly fine. If the wedding is very traditional, I would say wear nice flats.

soupfiend · 13/02/2024 08:23

I cant believe you started a thread about this so you are unreasonable in that respect.

Just wear the bloody shoes you like and that are comfortable

(I dont wear heels anywhere to anything)

LaPalmaLlama · 13/02/2024 08:23

Do you have a picture of the dress?

Strugglingtodomybest · 13/02/2024 08:22

I've never worn heels. I wore DMs and dresses in the 90s, but I'm more of a trainer girl now, which is even better on the comfort scale I find.

Octavia64 · 13/02/2024 08:21

I don't wear heels.

Never have.

However DMs and a dress is a very specific look and it might not be appropriate for a wedding,

A couple of years ago everyone was wearing dresses and white trainers - is there an equivalent now?

Original poster
EarthyMangold · 13/02/2024 08:20

@Swipernoswipingg nope

OP posts:
Pintally · 13/02/2024 08:19

For me personally I don’t like that look, but that aside they’re very clunky and casual for something like a wedding - the same way that trainers would be too casual.

I also hate heels, but there’s always plenty of flat shoes around that would work for a wedding.

Swipernoswipingg · 13/02/2024 08:17

Will the dms be covered by the dress?

BeachBeerBbq · 13/02/2024 08:17

I don't wear heels, I feel no pressure to. I don't understand why you would if you don't get on with them? Just wear nice flat-ish shoes?