Sick of pretending to wear heels

There is something about “fitting in” to an occasion, I think - whatever that occasion is. It’s why people wear a suit for a job interview, or a dark colour for a funeral. And often you do so to “mark the occasion”, rather than for any other reason. I went to a wedding where one of the groom’s friends wore a really loud tartan suit. He stood out a mile, both on the day and in the photos. I can only assume that was his intention. I didn’t care; it didn’t affect me. But it was clearly “making a statement” - look at me, I’m far too quirky for a grey suit like the rest of you. That sort of thing. The grey suit wouldn’t have been my DH’s choice of apparel for a Saturday, but he put it on to mark the occasion and make an effort for the bride and groom’s special day. DM boots aren’t as “standout” as a tartan suit, of course, but they are pretty noticeable - in the way that a pair of basic slip on flats really wouldn’t be.

Wear what makes you confident

I am older than you and agree.

Ugh why are people continuing making suggestions of shoes that the OP should wear. Only women have to contend with these stupid rules and not being able to walk at weddings. Men don’t have to give this stuff a second thought. OP wear your boots and be proud.

I think this is rude and attention seeking. Some people don't.

Honestly, some of these comments are so old-fashioned. I am in my 50s and boots might have felt out of place in weddings 30 years ago.

But thankfully people are more tolerant and less stuffy now. DMs are hardly a controversial statement. As I said, I love my heels, but this thread has made me want to go and buy some boots for the next wedding I attend! If you feel good in the outfit, then that’s enough! And this is a February wedding, so boots are even more acceptable.

You know your ‘look’, your friend and the type of wedding, so go with what works.

I think the dress is the relevant item, you aren’t wearing a grubby T shirt and trackies.

Platforms or wedges can be really comfortable. Also check out these shoes that are high and made to be comfortable.
https://solebliss.com/products/ruby-fuchsia-suede?variant=43696591339749&currency=GBP&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAw6yuBhDrARIsACf94RU6_ZkNcNPrDj_R4QpFt2puZ0Nc5YM6jFzn5tD_plWHXLM2N5-T4bEaAjIREALw_wcB

This, and a shouty statement at that.

I don't wear heels. I stopped after a bout of plantar fasciaitis in my mid 30s and I nainnly wear doc martens, birkenstocks or gopd quality running trainers now. I have some smart flat laceups for rare occasions when those are too informal but Docs are fine for a wedding.

I love my DMs and live in them the majority of the time, however I really advise against wearing DM's to someone's wedding. It will be remembered and raise eyebrows. You can definitely wear a nice pair of flats and be comfortable but it will stand out and potentially ruin the wedding pictures. Even if your friend says it's okay, it could be frowned upon by older family members of the couple getting married.

I think heels look amazing, unless you can't walk in them and then it just looks ridiculous. Go with comfort. There are plenty of wedding suitable flats...you'll be able to pick up a cheap pair in primark or similar if you don't plan on wearing them again.

I didn't even wear heels when I was bridesmaid at the last wedding I went to. Gave them up years ago. Super uncomfortable. Wear your DMs.

It's what DMs were. Have you even looked at their current ranges?
But I also don't care much about 'appropriate' as long as people are comfy and feel their best that's great.

Not how I see weddings at all. They are a day you show up to celebrate a key moment in the life of someone you care for. I wouldn't give a stuff what anyone wore if it was my DDs wedding. And didn't at my own, back in the 90s.

I don't wear heels either and I do wear DMs, but for a wedding where the dress code was cocktail or formal, I'd go for flats, sandals, ankle boots or nice flip flops.

This is nonsense, most guests won’t be in the slightest bit bothered about someone else’s footwear. Those that do need to get a life.

I don't think sturdy work boots, which is what DMs are, would be suitable for a wedding at all. But you don't have to wear heels. There are a million different pairs of stylish or pretty flats.

Why is one pair of shoes over another 'bothering'? I don't understand how one pair of shoes = effort and another (well made and expensive = not bothering.
DMs are not 'ugly' either as a PP said. They may not be to your taste, but they are a definite style choice.
As for wearing 'pretty flats' I can't. My feet are a size 10 for a start, so nobody much makes them. Then I can't wear anything in a 'dolly' type shape, Mary Jane's etc because the front of the shoe rubs within about 4 steps (yes, even if they fit well).
DMs are fine.

I think you can wear whatever shoes work for you (although probably not trainers to a wedding).

I wore Dms with dresses in the 90s too, but I was young!

I think there are lots of flat or flattish shoes that would work with a dress better than DMs personally. But if you like the look, you go for it.

When people judge this stuff at weddings, I just assume they aren’t having a good enough time. And if a bride gets upset on the day by a guest’s choice of shoes, she is marrying the wrong person!

I say this is as somebody who loves getting dressed up and wearing heels etc but do not care what other people wear at all.

So why are you bothering to ask when you aren’t actually going to change your mind at all?

I don’t remember what the majority of people wore on their feet to my wedding. I do remember one guest had light up boots for the evening and they were amazing!

Heels are outdated IMO but boots are inappropriate wedding attire.

If you decide to wear heels then try wearing them around the house and progress to the supermarket. You might feel like a Wally but you can hide them under bootcut jeans. The trolley helps for balance and support.

Never take them off in the day as it's too painful to put them back on.

Alternative is smart flats or open shoes depending on weather and venue.

I love boots but would honestly judge someone wearing them to a wedding in the same light as I would judge someone turning up to a wedding in jeans or shorts. Boots arent appropriate and you know it. Weddings are one of those days, like job interviews, where you turn up and do what is expected of you for the sake of 1 day.

Depends on where you went out. Was wearing trainers in the 90s to superclubs like Cream...heels worn clubbing were for the provinces. But at that time it was still heels for the office and certainly for weddings.

Offices fell first and more recently special occasions