Sick of pretending to wear heels

I like in DM’s too, I never wear heals, don’t own any and wouldn’t buy any just for one day/wedding. Wear your boots.

This doesn't square with my experience at all.

I've never worn a heel or pointed toe in my life and I manage to dress appropriately for work, weddings and funerals.

@Doublenoogahsilvousplait we have lots of shoes available, but not more choice in comfortable, flat shoes that fit well, especially on a budget. Pointed toes, fronts that finish round at the base of the toes, no support etc are the norm. If you add in wanted covered toes, you've got little chance of finding something.

@chiwwy

Do you also think men at weddings are 'hulking great clumpy boots on'?

What? Men aren't at weddings in doc martens. The OP should wear comfortable flat shoes. No one has to wear heels to a wedding but wearing what is effectively a worker's boot is not appropriate. For men or for women.

What would you wear that you could also walk a reasonable distance or stand most of the day in? I'm going to struggle on a upcoming holiday. Winter is so much easier.

Do you also think men at weddings are 'hulking great clumpy boots on'?

That still more or less still says that women need to be in heels. It's the need to be in heels, that needs to be gone.

@EarthyMangold Another thing that has just popped into my head although not heel related, it is wedding related! When I got married I invited a work friend and her husband and I knew they would feel uncomfortable getting 'dressed up', in fact they wore jeans to get married in themselves. I made it very clear I would rather them attend wearing jeans than wear something they would feel uncomfortable in all day or not attend at all. Them being there meant far more to me than worrying about what they would be wearing 😊.

I can't vote. I don't wear heels or anything else that causes me foot pain. I wear DMs or trainers.
However, I wouldn't wear either for a wedding. There are so many alternatives.

Women have far more choice in shoes than men do.

OP could easily find more appropriate shoes that are still comfortable and don't have a heel. She just wants to wear doc martens.

I think it's disrespectful. She can manage one day without hulking great clumpy boots on.

I'd be equally at a man wearing DM boots at a wedding.

You don't have to wear heels but dms with a dress is not a great look for a wedding (or at all mostly)

Bit cold for February, to be fair.

You've asked the question whether it's unreasonable to pretend wear heels (which, no, you absolutely shouldn't have to pretend), but it more seems like you're asking for reassurance RE the Docs? Personally, I don't think they are an appropriate choice for a wedding. I think flats are totally acceptable, but smart ones. However, you've said in your post you don't want to do that and you want to wear the Docs. So I suppose that's that! :)

I don’t own any myself, but from what I can see DMs are pretty mainstream these days and worn with ‘pretty dresses’ for all occasions. I wonder where these people live, who are all shocked and think they are ‘attention seeking’.

I've never worn heels as growing up & reaching 5ft 11 pretty quickly, any more height used to make me feel obtrusive & people would comment.
Now late 40s and couldn't give a toss what people think but don't find heels comfortable.
There are so many flat options to wear with a dress that still make a statement but aren't DMs.

I have a foot condition which means I had to stop wearing heels and also any pretty shoes. I just wear trainers all the time now. With dresses. No one cares. I have nice trainers and in different colours so it all matches. I have a pair of pumps that I wear to job interviews and that's it. Literally no one will notice I promise

I've never worn a heel in my life but I'd never be so cheeky as to wear bloody workmen's boots to someone's wedding.

I agree. There are plenty of comfortable smart shoes you could wear. DMs are definitely a statement.

I totally did wear a long dress and DM's to a wedding in 1995! (Misses point)

TBH if I saw DM boots at a wedding I'd think you were an attention seeker - "I'm not like other girls". Deliberately standing out at someone else's wedding is a bit crass imo. Fine if you're the bride of course, or for a very alt wedding.
Different clothes are for different occasions, that's why you're wearing a dress and not a tracksuit. Same for shoes.

https://www.next.co.uk/style/ST950721/M64651#M64651?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organicshopping

I'm a DM wearer, never heels, but I did wear these to a wedding recently and they were really comfortable and looked nice

The majority of people from what I’ve read have said no heels is absolutely fine but there are more appropriate flats.

My first comment said it depends on the wedding. If it’s a traditional wedding that starts in a church and then moves to a super fancy reception, DMs are not suitable. If it’s a bit more boho or relaxed, they’ll be fine with a nice dress. You haven’t said which one.

Never wear heels. Used to wear the cork platform monstrosities back in the day, but I always wear flats/boots/trainers now and tbh, I never give it a second thought.

No need to wear heels but I don’t think DMs are suitable for a wedding