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Original poster

To think having a favourite child is weird?

103 replies

Surnami · 12/02/2024 19:21

I have two brothers and growing up we did used to joke about who was the favourite but I genuinely don't believe that my parents had one and I think my brothers feel the same.

My dad is closer with the middle child and my mum is perhaps very slightly closer to the youngest and oldest but I definitely don't believe they love or even like us different amounts.

My DH is so blatantly the favourite that it's uncomfortable. Both he and his sister are very aware and when it's mentioned his parents haven't ever even really argued with it. Not only is he very obviously liked more but he's treated differently too. It's quite extreme.

My DH does not seem to think that this is weird at all. He acknowledges he is the favourite but has the attitude that "someone has to be". He thinks all parents have favourites and that anyone who says otherwise is lying.

I don't think he's right but I do sometimes doubt myself. I really don't think my parents have a favourite but they wouldn't tell me if they did.

We have one DS at the moment but both of us would like more. However if it really is this big secret truth that everyone has a favourite then I'd be a bit nervous of having another as it just seems so awful.

OP posts:
MolkosTeenageAngst · 12/02/2024 19:26

I think my parents had favourites but they mostly didn’t show it or treat us obviously differently, certainly materially. I do think it’s odd to have a blatant or explicit favourite and don’t think it’s the norm in healthy family dynamics, at least whilst the children are young. In adulthood maybe it’s different, my mum has an obvious favourite now but that’s largely because one siblings lives closer to her and has borne grandchildren so better to those of us who haven’t given her grandchildren and/ or those of us who live further afield.

HRTQueen · 12/02/2024 19:26

I think there is a favourite more often than not

ask all the children, friends and family and so often one child is mentioned without hesitation

I don’t think they are necessarily loved more just a closer relationship

icallitasplodge · 12/02/2024 19:25

I agree with you. I don’t have a favourite at all.

My partners family very obviously favour his sister and she is a downright awful person so I can’t work out why but I think it is that she has needed to lean on them more, so they have a strange codependency thing going on now.