To think having a favourite child is weird?

Haha 😛 Yeah I think you can like one child more than the other (for me this changes on a daily basis) but definitely love them the same.

My brother is convinced I'm the favourite or the golden child reality actually is that he's had far more support financially, housing etc (and still does) whereas I just got on with it and was financially independent from 18. My mum makes no secret that its me on POA forms and executor of wills etc but this is because I'm the sensible one both practically and financially it's not to do with being favourite.

I don't have a favourite between my children I love them both equally. We do reassure DS1 as he does say DS2 is the favourite but we point out that DS2 has just turned 2 which means he still doesn't understand a lot whereas DS1 who's 5 knows to only draw on paper with pencils and shouldn't copy his little brother!

Very similar here - although if you asked any of my 3 who was 'the favourite' they'd all give different answers

DD1 is 21 and we had a very rough time 12-18 me and her! She now describes me as her best friends, we talk a lot, laugh and generally just get one well.

DD2 - 19 - we always had a loving relationship but recently (since moving to Uni) she's started to make me the bad one - I get a lot of blame and anger from her - which I take and try to discuss - only to get told I'm gaslighting her (I'm really not) so it strained at the moment. Would I walk into fire for her - without a seconds hesitation I love her with all my heart.

DD3 is 15 and a moody minx but we have a good relationship - I love her dearly and would admit - if forced- that she's a bit spoilt being the 'baby' - but it's just us at home most of the time so she does get more of my attention

I would still say I love them all equally - but our relationships can change

My two children (18 & 15) are such different personalities that I inevitably have different relationships with them. But I don’t have a favorite, I love them equally and find them irritating equally. And I know that they feel the same about me. 🤣

DH is one of four though and there definitely seems to be two Golden and two Less Golden children. Except they shift! For years, his brother and his younger sister were the Goldens, but I think that DH is usurping his brother’s place now.

Tbh, I think his parents have finally realized that DH’s brother is self-centered and DH isn’t. It’s a case of you reap what you sow.

My DH is one of five. We all know (and joke) about the order of favourites and my MIL makes no bones about it being true. The favourite children have had the favourite grandchildren. So much so my DS thought they weren’t his grandparents too but exclusively his cousins who are the chosen ones. I did get my DH to tell my MIL that was what he said as my DS was also commenting on the extra gifts etc that they got and I asked that if she chose to gift one child and exclude others she’s did it tactfully and out of the left our children’s knowledge.

I've got 3 adult DC one DD and 2 x DS's. I don't have a favourite. I do see my youngest DS more frequently because he lives 3 miles from me and the others 140 and 150 miles away. My MiL definitely loves DH's brother more than DH. It makes DH sad because he's a fantastic son to her and when FiL died he went up and spent 10 days of his holiday helping her sort out his funeral and his brother did absolutely nothing.

I'm one of six, I don't think my parents had a favourite

I was my mother's favourite. She treated us the same, we all got the same amount of her time and care. But I knew. As I got older she and I would have long talks and I would go on walks with her. Neither of my siblings had the same connection, but to the outside world and maybe even to my sisters we were all equal. I don't think she loved me more though, just that we had a slightly closer relationship.

I don’t know how common it is but my DH always was and remains the favourite child of both his parents. It has been very damaging to his siblings, especially his younger brother. He hasn’t been given more than them or anything like that, but it’s just horribly obvious when you see them all interact. It makes me feel deeply uncomfortable.

I have two children and I was so worried about this when I was pregnant with my youngest. Now they are both here I can’t imagine loving one more than the other.

Haha. Oh god.

I always have a favourite. It depends on which day of the week it is, who has done their homework, who has done a chore without asking etc. If they have both pissed me off then my favourite is the dog 😆

Someone is always my favourite, the other always gets a turn too- we laugh about it and the kids usually end up giving each other a dead arm 🤷‍♀️.

Cant imagine ever seriously loving one more than the other though.

My parents had subliminal favourites: my dad favoured me and my mum favoured my sister. Neither of them would have admitted this openly in a million years but my sister and I both knew.

This was mainly down to temperament and personality: my dad (deceased) and I were both fiery, argumentative extroverts who liked to win every point and my DSis and my mum were much milder mannered janitors and both introverts.

I don’t think they even would’ve recognised it themselves.

But it must be horrific for them to be explicit about this.

For me there's a difference between favouritism and favourite. I have two young adult daughters. There's no favouritism whatsoever. I would never do anything for one and not the other. But ... DD1, as is completely normal at 21, finds me completely boring. She only comes to life when she's with her friends and bf and makes minimal attempt at conversation with me. DD2 on the other hand adores me. She always wants to talk to me and tells me everything that's going on in her life. She's my favourite one to spend time with.

I don't have a favourite. My children are all so very different it would be impossible.

I do have favourite things about each though.

DS1 - as an adult his intellect and ability to stretch me in conversation.
DS2 - as a young adult his easygoing and affectionate nature.
DD - as an older teen her strength and sensitivity

My parents appeared to heavily favour my brother - it's only now I am much older, that I can see he needed more. Rather than favouritism.

Very odd to have a blatant favourite indeed.

I don’t have a favourite but I do have one child who is a pleasure to parent and the other who is much harder work. I admire them and love them both equally though.

I have three and definitely don't have a favourite...they all think they are my favourite 😅

However I think at different times each one has needed me more- so may have gotten more attention/time with me/money spent on them etc. I make it very clear to them that I will do anything thing in my power to get them the best I can and if it's not your turn to need it this time know that when you need it it will be there. When they were younger it would be things like new clothes because they had grown out of them and I wasn't replacing three sets of wardrobes 😂

Please, OP, don’t have a second child with this damaged man. My DH was the favourite child in his family and his making it obvious that one of our children was his favourite has damaged all my children, but especially the one who felt most rejected.

We are now divorced and all my children are no-contact with my ex, but there was a danger for a while, that I would lose contact with one of them as he blamed me for allowing his father to treat him as he did.

Having favourites causes no end of pain. I love all my children unreservedly and equally, and that is how it ought to be. Obviously some are easier to get on with than others, but the love they receive should still be equal and they should never, ever feel they are lesser or less loved than their siblings. If I could go back and only have one child with him, I would.

I dont have a favourite, both my boys are very different.

However, my abusive ex p used to brag that his mother told him regularly that he was her favourite (3 siblings).. I truly believe this helped to form his entitled Narcissistic character.

Yes my JRT is the easiest 😂

My mum is the younger sister of my uncle and has always made it clear (to me) that she hates how much her mum favours her older brother and how the red carpet is rolled out for him.

However, she has then gone on to very much favour my older brother over me; materially, time -wise, financially, "understandingly" and emotionally. The irony is palpable!

Like a PP has said though...any attempt to bring this up meant I was the 'difficult and hard to love' one! Self fulfilling prophecy.

I have an only so I can't comment on it but my XH did say he wouldn't want to have another kid with me because there was no way I could love any baby more than my DC. Bullshit projection IMO.

Have definitely observe the phenomena time and time again. Sometimes it's just needs-based but sometimes it's fricking obvious!

My little sister is my mum’s favourite and I was my dad’s favourite. Replaced by my 3 mo daughter as his favourite.

I have always joked that I love all three but at times I haven’t particularly liked them.
As adults they all get it !

My pug is definitely my favourite 😂

All of my children think they are my favourite. Most of the time I prefer the cat.