Family Court Judges ignoring abuse

What an unnecessarily mean post to an OP who is distressed for her child. Abuse isn't always apparent before pregnancy and even if it is, it isn't easy to leave. Your attitude is ignorant.

Stop victim blaming

It's recognised that abuse often doesn't start until pregnancy. Women don't have a crystal bal.

I assumed no sw input. Could she not get a sw report and seek to vary interim order?

She's already got a court order. So either it's an interim order in which case either social services or cafcass will already have been asked to provide a report, or it's a final order in which case no further reports can be submitted. Asking for a further report is pointless unless she's planning to submit a new application with new evidence.

Social work recommendations should influence family court decisions. Suggest you ask sw to issue a report which you can submit to court

Yes pp are right that social services cannot overrule a court order but they can still become involved if there is concerns about a child's welfare for example living conditions provided by the father. Op I would contact social services and make a referral, social services don't tend to get involved in contact issues by the courts as such but definitely with the child's welfare concerns.

I knew a woman who walked in on her partner molesting their daughter and he still got custody rights

She basically went into hiding as there was 'no way in hell' she'd let him near her child again

The family courts are not fit for purpose for da victims. Down the line there are going to be some severely damaged people who were handed to abusers by the court and whose mother's were told they were lying when all they were doing is protecting their child from harm.

This is really not how it works. Social services can't overrule a court order and you cannot decide you know more than the court. That's the way to get yourself in serious trouble. If OP believes there was relevant information not shared with the judge she can make an appeal but otherwise she has to follow the court order.

She's in private proceedings so cafcass or social services will already have been involved.

No it doesn't, and no they can't. A contact order is private law, social services can only issue public law applications and as with everywhere the judges word is literally law.

Social services can't override a court order.

You need to contact ss again with your concerns, , don’t send your child to unsafe places for safeguarding reasons, lost the reason, get evidence, for him/ your ex to push back and complain about not seeing your dc he will have to take you back to court, the court will ask ss for another report, the report must/will hopefully evidence your safeguarding concerns. Do it now.
Is ex likely to make a nuisance of himself, be abusive to you? Evidence, call the police. If you send your dc to a family/man where there are safeguarding concerns the ex will always say, you weren’t that concerned you handed the child over.
The judge makes a decision based on what evidence they have, they don’t and can’t know everything . You do, keep your baby with you.

Some people have kids with men who turn out to be sex offenders/pedophiles and those men will sometimes still get unsupervised custody
Disgusting

Agreed this 50/50 is based on absolutely zero evidence that it is better for the child and there is plenty of evidence that it is not better if the parents are not highly cooperative and low conflict, otherwise it’s worse.

Courts have gone way off the child centred legislation which is what they are supposed to centre everything on.

The “default” is not 50/50. This is not law, it’s a dangerous misconception. All that matters is the best interests of the child, and of course it’s not in a child’s best interest to spend half their time with an abusive criminal. This baby is just 20 months old. The world is fucking bonkers. Misogyny has always been a thing, but we didn’t used to take it out on children in this sickening way .

Yet people say that the family court is biased in favour of women

I've had to actively cooperate with my abuser to safeguard my children because social services wouldn't help me basically got condemned for being with him we split I was condemned for that too they wanted me to go to family court claiming they would "support" me but they couldn't guarantee he wouldn't get access so I refused the fallout was awful but I have my children still

OP this is not right and your child is being exposed to an unacceptable amount of risk. Keep feeling this and then that will urge you to keep fighting. Don’t stop fighting for your child.

The first thing is do is keep social services in the loop and keep an objective accurate record. Objectively list your fears and concerns. Say why eg that you know because of x and y that the environment is not safe. Leave emotions out of it. Record times and dates. Record if you child is unsettled.

Id be tempted not to comply and to find a really good solicitor. I’ve heard very similar stories - with women in similar situations. Can you Google and find them? There must be groups or lobbies. I’m sure I heard one woman’s fight on the radio and it seems there is more pressure now.

I know a woman with a child with no speech who is too scared to leave her husband, as the risk with her not around from known abusive family members is too high. So she stays. She knows this is crazy and she is not happy. Her husband is not abusive but he denies that his relation is - and would allow this person unsupervised access - which if she left she could do nothing about. It’s madness.

Disgusting post.

Only the child has rights. The right to safety, security and an environment where they can thrive. The courts are supposed to centre all decisions around this. But often do not.

Parents have no rights over children. Children are not property. Parents have responsibilities not rights.

I'm surprised social services are not involved.

You need Cafcas report and also ask for drugs test

In an idea world both parents would be able to raise and support any child they decide to have but sadly we do not live in an idea world, generally the default when you have a child is 50/50 as this is in the best interest of this child, it is not a case of mum says dad is a terrible father so shouldn't have the child, if you have a child with someone it is not rocket science to know that have the rights

sure morally we can say 'but they did something wrong so I get to say what happens' it doesn't work that way and if someone doesn't think they will be a decent parent then don't sleep with them, get pregnant then need the courts and social workers to pick up the pieces

children deserve decent parents and it starts with the parents and their choices

What the hell are you talking about, “external people have to fix this decision for the child’s sake”, are you out of your mind? OP’s child is being exposed to an unsafe environment and OP is doing everything she can to try to rectify this, there are some very stupid and damaging comments on this site, as PP said “ridiculous and frankly horrific”. Am so sorry you and your son going through this OP, I despair of a system that would subject a little child to this.

Exactly.

@WandaWonder did you miss the bit where social services told OP to remove herself and her children from violent ex? Care to comment on that part? Or in your world do rights of violent abusers trump those of their victims?

This is ridiculous and frankly horrific to say to someone going through this.

A child has a right to be safe, loved and protected. A convicted abuser who is caught up in criminality, drugs and alcohol is not a good parent and cannot provide a safe environment. It doesn't matter what his "rights" are, you forfeit those rights when you become an unfit, unhinged abusive POS. Children deserve better than to be subjected to that just because the abuser got someone pregnant.

@BluntDeer if SS can show a danger to the child surely that will precede a court order/allows a reasonable excuse to breach a court order?

Can SS appeal against the court order?