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Settlement in divorce . Will this be enough for the children?

82 replies

fortheloveofcase · 11/02/2024 15:04

Thanks for reading.
I'm heading into settlement talks and
Will meet my solicitor next week. We have three teens and live outside UK so all third level ed, medical, dental, orthodontic fees are payable.
Currently all three kids live with me.
They have no relationship with their dad as they don't want that despite much encouragement from me.
He pays mortgage on the home the children and myself live in.
This, aswell as equiv of £40 per week is maintenance.
I work full time. I was main earner and financed and supported him to climb the ladder for 16 years.
He is now self employed and very successful.
I had two substantial inheritances in the marriage which I put straight into the family.
He had his weekly wage.
I have a share in a family home and a pension. Worth a bit, not a huge amount. Have another fifteen years to retirement.
He has suggested us selling the family home ( that I'm in and he pays mortgage on in lieu of maintenance ) and splitting equity after mortgage sum is subtracted approx £40k. He has offered me
£20k cash to get half of equity.
He has said he will pay maintenance cash then thereafter .
Equity will be approx £300k.
He is hiding money and has refused to acknowledge receiving papers that have been served .
Now on paper this sounds good but truth he is, he cannot be trusted. He is a cheat, a liar and has not paid the big spends ... ed, medical etc despite promising to do so.

He says he will no 'go after' my pension or share of other house if I agree to this.

Two children have SN ALSO, for context and third child is currently in UNI and he has refused point blank to pay anything. This has cost be £ 10k so far this year.
Is this enough to provide half of children's expenses until they are educated in your opinion? Would you accept this .

OP posts:
ConflictedCheetah · 11/02/2024 15:17

Where do you live/where are you divorcing? Hard to know what you might it sound get if not in the UK.

SerenityNowInsanityLater · 11/02/2024 15:16

That’s a terrible offer. A few questions:
Have you exchanged form Es?
Have you filed a form A with the court?
Has your lawyer suggested a pension report to be carried out by a pensions expert who will work out what a split would look like?
Does your ex have legal representation?
Form A will trigger court ordered financial disclosure from you both and it gets the ball rolling. What is your lawyer advising?

fortheloveofcase · 11/02/2024 15:16

Thanks for reply. His business is predominantly cash so he won't disclose and if he does I expect it will be bare minimum. I'm afraid to take my chances I guess.. they're sending him notice of motion tomorrow I believe. I do t even know what that means ! She said something about 21 days notice

OP posts:
Greensleevevssnotnose · 11/02/2024 15:11

See a solicitor, starting point is 50/50 but 70/30 is probably fairer if you are having the children children full time

fortheloveofcase · 11/02/2024 15:10

And thanks for your reply also!

OP posts:
fortheloveofcase · 11/02/2024 15:10

His pension is worth SFA. Maybe £5k

OP posts:
AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 11/02/2024 15:07

No. He’s offering you the bare minimum he wants to part with. Without full financial disclosure I wouldn’t even discuss it. With 3 kids, 2 with SN, and sacrificing your career, plus your inheritances he knows you will likely be granted a larger proportion, and like you say he is hiding money that also needs to be split, as well as his pension. What split of his pension has he offered?

if he is hiding money now, you can guarantee that he will use his self employed status to avoid paying you fair maintenance.

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