Settlement in divorce . Will this be enough for the children?

21 day warning letter on Friday so that she can issue a motion. I'm not even sure what that means tbh.

If he doesn't submit his documents or engage a solicitor to correspond on his behalf, the matter can go before a judge to adjudicate, without him.

@ChimneyPot

That is a very unusual situation. My ex put me through hell in the 10 years it took to get to court. He was unreliable, paid erratically, never (not once in a decade) contributed to medical or educational costs.

If you are prepared to go into the witness box & give evidence (something most judges strongly discourage unless there is a massive gulf in positions), you can bring up such matters.

Otherwise the judge will look at a) each set of affidavits b) the offers from each side c) housing, maintenance, pensions and educational / medical costs. That's it.

In OP's case, as far as the judge will be concerned, her ex has a history of paying regularly. It doesn't matter if it is the mortgage or maintenance, unless the payment is tiny. It's the same difference.

In terms of a forensic accountant, they exist but you'll pay a lot and for what? If her ex hasn't disclosed financial details, the case won't proceed to court anyway. For very HMWA individuals, perhaps.

My ex left gaping holes in his statements (where he got bonuses) and it wasn't taken into account at all.

Ultimately the maintenance I got was outwardly good (and certainly compared to the UK!) but as he never sees them (again, not taken into account, as he said he wanted to but I prevented it, a Section 32 report found in my favour but proposed counselling for him, he agreed so judge said after counselling, he would then see younger DC every second weekend) and won't pay towards medical etc costs (he is ordered to do so; so far hasn't, yes I can take him back to court eventually but it's more money & stress) it's not as good as it looks.

Unless you've directly experienced an analogous situation in the Irish courts be v careful what you advise. I've lived this for a decade now so I am well-used to it. It's a horror show.

This is Irish advice

Final one for now - settlement talks can take place ahead of court, between the legal team, which might give a basis for agreement.
But it can all change on the day anyway and the judge will order talks when you go into court as a first step.

So don't expect to agree anything necessarily before your court date.

You will be waiting up to a year for that.

If you've other questions I'm happy to try answer them.

And you also need all the vouching information, which is laborious - statements for all accounts, loans, credit cards, your payslips, pension statements and so on.

If you are saying he has no legal representation, and has not exchanged documentation, it won't get near court, as the clerk will not approve for listing without all that info.

Simply put, he'll eventually need a solicitor.

Do you have a court date OP?

It would be unusual to file the Affidavits (and this is done by the solicitors, not you) until you do. You have to have them dated and with relevant information (salary, earnings, spending etc) for the latest 6 months.

So you don't file them until close to the court date, as otherwise they'll be out of date & you'll need to file them again.

Equity will be approx £300k

That's pretty huge.

How much is the mortgage now? Can you afford it?

He will be asked to pay maintenance - the maximum is €2000 pcm

If he's paying the mortgage at present, perhaps the amount is similar to what he might pay in maintenance?

The other issue with that equity is that you'll probably have to pay him a sizeable amount of money to effectively 'buy out' his interest. Can you access that? (At least €120k, could be much more).

The legal basis is but the way it's done is not.

I've given you some headline points in my next post! I'll come back to this later.

I went through hell to get divorced so happy to share my experience / answer questions.

Some guidance, Ireland-based.

1. If he doesn't see the kids, it's very likely a section 32 will be ordered. Certainly if he gets legal representation (which I'm certain he will, in the end) they will look for this. This is also known as a Voice of the Child report, and is both expensive, and stressful.

1. Regarding what you / he paid during the marriage, it will be irrelevant unless you go into court & give evidence (usually discouraged unless there's a very big difference in earnings / what you both want / assets.

1. The judge will review the Affidavit of Means, and Affidavit of Welfare from you both & make suggestions on that basis, and will encourage settlement talks on those suggestions.

1. You may have to attend court more than once. If you are not listed first, you very often won't have your case heard. I had to wait nearly a year after my first court date for a listing where our case was first

1. The judge will not order the sale of the family home for such little equity.

1. However you then need to either examine if you can take over the mortgage & buy him out - unless you are very highly paid this is almost impossible. Maintenance won't be considered income, and the 3 DC will count as 'negative' points on the rating by banks.

The divorce system in Ireland is pretty dreadful. It's very hard to have your voice heard or any nuance understood.

You can get lucky with solicitors & barristers but it's rare.

Making your DC security and yours the priority.

A few things to consider. If he runs a business is this not half yours? Is it the kind of business that has any material value that you could negotiate with?

Check if there is a consequence to him paying the mortgage instead of maintenance. Will this effect ownership or distribution of equity down the line.

If you live outside the UK, then advice about the UK is irrelevant. You need to seek advice where you are.

OP, having just gone through a divorce in Ireland, the systems in Ireland and UK are worlds apart. You're mistaken.

if you were in the UK I would tell you to search online for a Child maintenance calculator. That’s how much you ex would pay you each month.
I would then warn you that self employed people can use clever accounting to make it look like they earn very little. you need to confirm what it’s like in your country. Do companies publish profits and income online ? I realise that he might be hiding income from whoever collects tax but it’s a start.

With regards to the mortgage payments, how can you trust him to continue paying ? If you wanted to sell then you’d owe him 50% or whatever of the equity which is delaying the housing issue to a later date. You might earn more in future but you might not be able to work as many hours.

This is why you need local legal advice about the safest course of action to take bearing in mind what you know about your ex.

Have you or your solicitor filed all of your forms with the court (affidavit of means and the rest)?

It’s difficult to give advice because you don’t live in the UK and divorce laws vary around the world.

You need a good solicitor and a forensic accountant if there is a lot of cash.

i know someone who got all of the equity from the house because she could show her children’s father had a history of hiding assets and would be unreliable paying child support.

I’d be very surprised if his pension is only worth £5k. Did he tell you that?
It’s a terrible offer regardless.