Day after surgery and DH goes out with his mates- I’m fuming! AIBU?

Easier said than done as I've met via work a few ladies whose motto was "if he ever does thisss...... I'd kick him out, leave him.." Guess what, when the time came and the OH cheated on them, they were devasted and time off work and took them back

As I said, easier said than done and hopefully this happens to no one

No, you're misunderstanding completely.

You can't leave alone in a taxi.

It doesn't sound good for your relationship if you said you were fine with him going because you thought he would only moan and be resentful staying to look after you!

If your partner is your responsible adult then fine.

My DM was mine, she doesn't drive so a neighbour took all of us. Wish we had just booked a taxi, she was a terrible driver and made it all worse.

As I said, my partner would pick me up in a taxi. But apparently taxis are banned. So I guess I would just live there.

Because a taxi driver can't be your responsible adult for 24 hours.

Why is a taxi not allowed to pick you up but a friend or family member is? I don't understand what the difference would be. My partner doesn't drive so he'd get in a taxi and come and pick me up.

You need to get someone to collect you, or they just keep you in until 24 hours has passed.

They expect you to be collected so that they can give a handover of do’s and don’ts to the responsible adult. Not just a random taxi driver.

Gobsmacked but telling him it was fine was far too altruistic! But for him to even ask was obscene, what an arse!

"As for someone staying with me, there is literally no-one to stay."

I just lied about someone being around for 24 hours. Not everybody has such a person.

"If you say you live alone they may not allow you home so soon, unless they really need the bed then the rules may go out if the window."

When I had a short tooth op they wouldn't let me even have the op without seeing that there was someone there with me! I then lied that the person would be staying for 24 hours, It wouldn't have bothered me having to stay longer in hospital, but they wouldn't have done it at all without me having someone with me.
They did let us go home in a taxi though. I wanted to take the bus, but that wasn't allowed.

@Gwenhwyfar
""(I wasn’t allowed home in a taxi!)"

So what do people do who don't have a car or a licence?"

People generally get a friend &/or family member to pick them up. I have done this and had this done for me for/by various friends.

After GA you can't drive and need to be released into the care of a responsible adult. The OP's H took on the role of the responsible adult and then ditched his wife at the first chance he got.

You shouldn't have said it was fine. I don't understand why you would be so shocked at the question that you acquiesced. I had my gallbladder out, day surgery - keyhole surgery, and apart from a little soreness where I was stitched, I felt okay. If you are vomiting, you should probably call 111 for advice.

"(I wasn’t allowed home in a taxi!)"

So what do people do who don't have a car or a licence?

Yes, I know.

I was saying that if he'd done the other stuff, then the leaving her on her own wouldn't (IMO) be the crime everyone is making it out to be.

It seems my posts are getting misinterpreted a bit.

Apologies if I was a bit harsh @Droolylabradors , unfortunately people use MN for serious medical advice and I didn't want them to see that and think it's a normal thing, glad you're fine now.

Don't get me started on the "Does this (photo) look like I should go to A&E" threads !!

She did say it would be fine, she was caught between the devil and the deep blue sea either say yes and have to suffer and be on her own or say no and have him being moody and resentful about it in order to punish her for curtailing his freedom!
This is not a kind person.
I would wait until he's ill, then leave him to rot and leave for good🤬

The problem is, even giving your updates. It sounds like the plan was always that he would go if you felt okay. He then asked, you said it was fine so why wouldn't he have gone? If it was my partner, I'd have been honest and said look, I'm really not feeling great, would you mind staying back just this once just in case I struggle getting to the loo in the night etc...

So whilst it would have been nice for him to make the decision to stay, he did ask and you did say it would be fine.

It is within 48 hours. He has also left her looking after the dog and has not bothered to check she is okay.

This man is not a partner @StonyMum , he's just a free loader.
If he was a genuine partner he would be too concerned about your well-being to even think about going off on a jolly with his friend.

But we're not talking about the first 24 hours. If we were, my response would be different.

He went to a funeral the day of the surgery, skipped the wake and came home to collect her, stayed with her and worked from home the following day. It was the day after the surgery (so, 24h later) when he left to go to Liverpool to see his friend for a day or so before coming back home.

Yes and it's so painful.

Really? If your surgeon had said you need someone there for 24-48 hours you’d have thought what the fuck does he know, my Dh wants to P.A.R.T.Y and I’ll be fine? The op is in pain. She’s not fine. This is not unexpected or rare, it’s a very usual result of the kind of surgery she had, which isn’t minor.

**
“The op has said she could see in her head him sitting at home resenting her if she said no”

Takes a very special kind of arsehole to resent their partner for expecting basic support the day after surgery.