To ask why do people not working claiming FSM get this for free?

Beezkneez me neither. As I said in my first post she's abused the system.
I did wander how school felt when she returned in January with a sun kissed face yet they'd delivered food parcels and bought her clothes just the month before.
I've no idea how but that's what's happened, and yes I'm jealous as I've struggled on my own and paid for school dinners and breakfast club. But for those who really do need it I suspect it's gratefully received. It's a shame my view has been clouded

Mumsnet is so dramatic sometimes.

OPs neighbours are dysfunctional, unstable people who can't feed their kids or provide them with "warm spaces" or "safe adults"

Whereas OP (on just slightly more money) is wildly privileged and should be grateful.

Fucks sake.

Yes: There should be free after-school clubs. Yes: The cut off point should be raised so OP can make use of them.

That wasn't so difficult was it?

In my area the HAF activities weren't fully taken up, if you go along with your child and they aren't full they will allow your child to join. We found this out when there was a activity set up near park with no one on and I went to ask.
Our LA publish the activities on Facebook so you could always contact and ask if it's the same?

This is inaccurate. But understandable given the situation over the last few years.
Generally:

1. Once you have been FSM, you are reassessed for eligibility at least once a year (could be more). If you are no longer eligible you stop receiving FSM
2. The school receives the pupil premium funding for all children who receive FSM plus any child who has received FSM for any time over the last 6 years. This is called the Ever6 payment. The reason for this is that research has shown even just a temporary eligibility for FSM can impact on a child's social mobility, so it is appropriate to give the school extra funding for a period of 6 years after their eligibility ends

Recently:
Due to the role out of Universal credit the government suspended the reassessment of eligibility (1) above until March 23 (it was initially March 22, but the UC roll-out took longer than planned). This was to protect vulnerable children and to ensure FSM were available just in case

So, no, you don;t just "keep" FSM forever. The keeping for longer than possibly needed is only due to the exception above.

There are five children in my class who qualify for fsm. Out of the five, four have seriously challenging situations at home. The fifth seems to have a safe and happy home, albeit very tight finances.

I have organised free holiday club places for those four so that I can guarantee they will have opportunities to play safely, have positive social interactions with other children and be fed and warm. They will also be seen by an adult each day which I think is crucial for two of them. If the other child on FSM’s adult decides to put their child in the club, they will be entitled to a place too. The rules that allow these places to be funded means that sometimes, children who may not be quite so needy also get free places.

Life is unfair, but trust me, the lives some of these kids (not all) have are nothing to be jealous of.

As another aside, I have, in the past, organised breakfast clubs and holiday clubs for children who haven’t qualified for FSMs but their parents had come to me in need of help. If you think this applies to you, speak to your school.

I feel for you OP and I absolutely understand your frustration. I was in a similar situation in the early 90's when interest rates were sky high and it was a nightmare. Having a mortgage is not the huge 'privilege'some on here make it out to be.

You're absolutely not an awful person and I think people are wilfully missing your point which I think is that you're sad your son is missing out. I totally understand because I'm in the same position. I have a good job, £40,000 but with the current economic climate I'm barely managing.
I don't grudge anyone any help and fully endorse vulnerable children being given every help possible but that doesn't mean I can't feel frustrated that my son is missing out. Mudding out financially and of my time because I work and for what?!
I work in residential child care, I'm only too aware of the outcomes for vulnerable children and even with incredible amounts of support their physical, emotional and long-term outcomes are very very poor. Broken Britain

I understand we're your coming from and totally agree. Some people live just above the thresholds and just about scrape by . They could also do with help but just earn a little too much.

This happens in my area. My only gripe is that I would really like to have been able to pay for my dc to be able to attend this. It runs from their school with children who are their friends. So would have been be ideal holiday childcare at the time we needed it. When we used holiday club there was only one local and wasn't a great fit for dc (and expensive). I ended up taking them to a holiday club at a school in a different area of our city - 15 minutes drive away.

So given that people have judged you as being fine as you have a mortgage, even though in reality life is hard… surely you can show some empathy yourself and see that many of those on FSM that you are judging don’t need them because you’ve decided you’re worse off than them - might not have as easy of a life as you imagine. Why begrudge others rather than just wish the threshold was higher?

Yes but then she wouldn't be getting ahem "free stuff" if she didn't have a claim open.

Not sure how that is as you've always had to work with secondary school age children, as a claimant myself for 15 years that's how it's ALWAYS been.

There are many families who just can’t be bothered. One child was off school a lot. He told me it’s because he was having a film day. When I asked him about it he told me he got in his parents bed and they slept whilst he watched his mums phone. That was his film day. Parents don’t work, just sad for that boy.

Because the less responsibility you take for yourself, the more you’ll get handed to you.

Beexkneez yes she has. She claims benefit and only recently the system has caught up with her and she's had to work.
In the last year to be exact.

I don't know which areas you live in, but in my area you most definitely cannot claim free before/ after school care if your child is on FSM and the parents don't work.
I am a single parent/ carer to a severely disabled child who needs round the clock care/ supervision. I would live to be able to go out to work, but due to the high level of care he needs I am unfortunately unable to.
I don't get any respite and certainly no free before or after school care.

Plus the school said they get extra funding for that child - to which my friend said use on other children

So the £100 a year, every year I think she got for school stuff she said to the school but books /art stuff or what they need for all the children

Have you looked into that UC thing where they can pay interest or something? I’m not sure of the details and I don’t think it’s a great deal at all. But if you desperately need repairs it may be worth a quick look to see if it’s an option?

This isn’t actually true at all and it’s very generalising. If a kid is adopted they can be fsm. Parent claiming single but not can he fsm.

I think what is wrong is once the child is on the register they get it their whole school life

This happened to my friend and husband . Filled out school form when covid was about. They were on uc due to covid and being self employed and no/low income

So when went to school got fsm and haf vouchers etx

Few months later work was better and still on uc but got £50 a month or sometimes nothing depending on their earnings

She said to school that wanted to take her child off fsm - milk register and haf voucher and food vouchers at holidays

They said she couldn't. That once on the list it was for whole school life in primary - so 7yrs 🙀🙀

She has spoken to uc and various companies and they know the family earns well now but child still gets all the free stuff and is in year 3 now so 4yrs of it so far

So my friends donated the food holiday vouchers and buys food with them and gives to food bank

As was told they've been paid for as such and if she doesn't claim /use them it's wasted money

So yes it's great some low warning families are entities and get help but seems the system is wrong that it's forever and not just when the parents need help

Loving does not always mean a great home life. It would be great if it did. But we also need food, shelter, warmth. Opportunities to play/learn/study.

Loving parents can be impacted by caring responsibility, their own health/MH issues, addition issues (not necessarily of a parent, but within the household), abuse, trauma. All these thing will not mean the parent(s) are not warm, loving parents...just that circumstances have stretched them so thin they cannot work, their income is low and the greatest amount of love in the world cannot overcome not being able to afford food/space.

Not all FSM children will feel a "lack" of anything at home. But statistically they are less socially mobile....so anything this stingy fucking government will give them is better than nothing.

She said they live off spousal maintenance, not that she claims UC. So if she’s not claiming benefits of course she can choose not to work. Obviously a rare case though if it’s true.

@GKD yes, tried to do a survey - nothing structured, just an anonymised question/answer asking this question - unfortunately no response.