When your adult children move back home

My 21 year old is moving back home temporarily as she is in desperate need of a fresh start. She has conditions, she is currently on UC so we are charging £80 a month rent to cover the extra food bills. However, she has to save at least 10% of any money received, going up to 25% once she is back in work. Her rent charge will also be 25% when she is back in work, but we will be saving a lot of that charge on her behalf, so when she has her own place we can help her. She also has rules with helping with chores, walking the dog and no boyfriends staying over as she has younger siblings in the house. We want to give her a helping hand to get back on her feet but cant afford to pay for all extras. When we discussed rent agreements, she suggested the amounts. She also requested help with money management. I think these are reasonable arrangements but I would also like other opinions on what they would do.

My DD is home and working in hospitality. She buys bits and pieces like supplies and takeaways from time to time but not much. She's applying for more serious jobs and if she starts to earn a proper wage I will review it. But I'd rather enable her to save. To be fair she doesn't cost me much extra. I have to heat her room as it's basement and would get damp if I didn't and she mostly fixes her own food/brings it home from work.

My DD gives me £400 per month. She also saves a good proportion of her wages and spends the remainder, mainly on books and driving lessons. I'm not in a position to put momey by for her and neither can I afford to subsidise her as a single parent on a low income; much as I would love to. Luckily she thinks £400 is a steal compared to uni accomodation fees. Eventually she hopes to have enough for a deposit on a flat but we've not put a time line on that and I'm happy for her to take the time she needs.

My parents own their business and have their house paid off so my siblings who have moved home help out with the business for a lower fee and contribute to utilities and food.

Ours have paid a minimal amount of 'housekeeping' which - after having paid rent and bills whilst at University - they considered to be really generous of us.
But both of them have been seriously saving to get to a place where they can move out.

we ask for a minimal amount (200 a month) that in reality doesn’t cover her consumables like food and utilities. she’s on my car insurance - paid for by me (extra £600 a year) and gets a lift to and from work pretty much every day. if we get a takeaway we get hers (and often at weekend boyfriend as well). she only drinks bottled water which is 30 a month alone and her and boyfriend have (rib eye organic grass fed) steak once a week at ours which is around £20 for 2. so we are definitely not breaking even - never mind profiting.

All of ours have lived at home when adults after Uni, and we didn't charge them until one of the moved a partner in for several years to save for a house,and then we charged them a nominal rate for food as I wasn't subsidising them!

My daughter came back when her relationship ended. I knew that she was going to be saving intensely to get her own place (she's always been a saver) so didn't want rent, but she said she wanted to say least pay the extra council tax (I'm single so paid the reduced rate until then) and she bought her own food, plus picking up and paying for a lot of shared basics.

I think it's a bit different if it's post uni and they'll be around for a while, but this was temporary and she was 30, so was on a mission to buy her own place asap.

Depends - young adults. They stay for free, I don't provide them any money, they use this time to save and work out they're going to do.

If this moves into staying for a few years as they "save for a house deposit" then I will expect to see savings accumulating and some contributions. Maybe a portion utility bills (that will teach them to not be wasteful) and food.

Adults moving back after many years absence - they take on half the bills and either half the food or buy their own. And I'd still like to see their plan for being independent.

Mine might be
Basically she's covering all costs on top of what my normal bills would be and buying her own food.
So I'll loose my single person council tax, electricity and water will be more

WiFi and heating will be the same

Why can't they buy yours? That can be their financial contribution to the household.

I moved back home for a couple of years in my early 20s. My parents wouldn't take any money (they are normal working class parents, they didnt have high wages) I used to pay for take aways etc to thank them. It meant I could buy another property quicker. I'll do the same for my children. Home is their safe place, they dont need to pay rent to be here. I'll do what I can to help them succeed.

Dd moved back for a month. Until she got a new place after a breakup. She cooked tea as a contribution... Since there was now 9 of us it was much appreciated!!

I think you also need to talk about their exit plan. I would hope them moving back home is a temporary measure, therefore they need to be saving in order to move out.

I've got one at home at the moment. He pays a 3rd of the utilities bills - the things that change because he's here.

I think I’d charge them. You can always save the money for them on the sly and give it to them later on.

Set chores would be useful as is cooking one meal for everyone one night a week.

A young man I work with, returned to his parents for a while and they did this. I think it made him not take anything for granted and prevented resentment building.

I'm interested in this too.

Those of you saying you don't charge if they're saving, how do you know if they are? Surely you're not asking 20+ year olds to show you their bank balance every month? What do you do if they have a couple of blow out months and their savings go backwards?

If they are earning that much then they can buy all of the groceries. That's more than fair.

Personally, I would want them to aggressively save their money, but I would absolutely have very clear expectations laid down before they move back in. Remember, this is your home and your rules apply.

They would be expected to do their fair share of cooking and cleaning. Their room must be kept clean. They are responsible for their own laundry. If they make a mess in the kitchen, it is to be cleaned up immediately. They may not have overnight guests without giving prior notice and getting your permission. They should buy groceries for the family on occasion and if there is anything out of the ordinary from your standard food shop that they want, they need to buy it.

DS gives us £65 per week, his GF stays over 3/4 nights a week as well and it covers food. In theory we don’t need it but he is earning close to 30k. He is also saving.

My daughter still has enough money to save, she doesn't spend much of what's left. Has more money saved than I do.

I wouldn't charge if I could easily accommodate them, but the expectation would be that they would be saving for their own place :) and set clear ground rules and maintain good communication so resentment doesn't build up!

My daughter came back after Uni and is still here, she gave me some money or would buy food. She didn't have much of a paid job. Now she is working full time and still her she pays her way.