Can my boss contact my husband?

Guilt,shame ,anxiety.

Plus the fact that it's not normal practice and wondering why.

If it is just that your husband is stressed at work, then how would your boss being concerned for your wellbeing cause "more stress at home"?

Yes, your boss overstepped but it was from genuine concern.

But yes, this could've caused serious repercussions in an abusive relationship. Everything from "what are you saying to your boss about me?" To much much worse.

I can’t understand how some people don’t realise what a massive inappropriate and unprofessional overstep this is. Intent is irrelevant.
I would check your company’s hr policy. I know at mine they are only allowed to use my emergency contact for exactly that reason , an emergency! So if something happened to me at work or if I hadn’t attended work with no contact they could contact as a welfare check.
I would be frank with your boss and explain the potential damage this could have done. Assert yourself and remind them you are an adult, you are the employee, your husband is not. In future please do not contact him to discuss you. If after having that conversation you don’t feel that they are taking you seriously, then go to HR.

100% wrong of your boss. I’d be furious and would tell him so in no uncertain terms. And tell him that if he ever did it again or similar, I’d be raising a formal complaint with HR.

DON'T contact HR! Unless you want to screw up your working relationship with your boss for the rest of your time there.

I work in HR. It was inappropriate for your boss to contact DH but I imagine it came from a place of caring about your welfare rather than anything else. If you go to HR it will become a formal complaint and will escalate horribly. If that is what you want then fine - but if not - and it sounds as though you have other things to worry about - then don't.

By all means talk to your boss and explain how you feel though!

I hope your DH sorts his issues and things get easier for you both soon.

I think your boss was truely concerned for you. He may get into trouble & only wanted to help.....How about talking to him about it....

That’s utterly outrageous! I don’t even think it’s legal. You are not a child! It’s like they are calling your dad! How infantilising, crossing a line. I would be raging!

This

I'm quite frankly horrified that your boss has done this.

You know your DH isn't abusing you, but your boss didn't know that.

What if you were stressed because you had been planning to escape a violent abusive relationship? Your boss could have put you at serious risk of harm by talking to him about you.

Your boss should be sacked, that would be gross misconduct in most workplaces. The op's husband might not be abusive, but the next one he does this with might be.

Holy shit. No you are not being unreasonable that’s a disgrace. Report them

I would go ballistic if my boss contacted my husband. My employment contract is between me and my employer, my husband didn’t have to give approval.

you have a bloody nosey manager!

Breaking GDPR rules will absolutely damage the boss. And rightly so.

As for promotions etc, the OP made no references, ergo has no bearings here.

What is "bonkers" is the minority of people like you on this thread who cannot see what a serious issue this is.

🤦‍♂️🙄🤦‍♂️

@MollsDolls be the boss didn't prevent shit did they? They messaged OP's husband? How is that preventing anything or caring?

This. Be worse if he'd noticed and thing got worse for you and he could have helped prevent it but chatting to you and ensuring you are doing ok.

That was not only inappropriate but potentially dangerous.
What if your husband was an abuser? That phone call could have seen you beaten to a pulp.
There are good and bad ways to try to help and support someone. He chose a bad way.

I would report it to hr pointing out that fortunately you aren't in that situation but that he could have put a woman at risk.

This, plus many other reasons why this was inappropriate. How did he know that you hadn't separated, or that your husband isn't seriously ill and you just don't want to discuss it?

Or for all he knows, you could be having an extra marital relationship and told your husband you're working overtime. Not saying this is the case of course, but just one of numerous reasons why his action was totally unprofessional.

Your boss overstepped the mark' by phoning your husband. He may have been coming from a place of concern but he had no business to do this when he had already spoken to you. For all he knew this could have been very unappreciated by your husband and may have indeed caused trouble in your home. I think it's fair to let him know his intrusion was neither wanted nor appreciated and certainly mustn't be repeated. Hope matters improve for you soon.

Do you think your boss did this out of concern as he thinks you are a valued employee?

Or is your doing less overtime having a negative effect on his projections and is possibly looking to let you go?

Or is he a nosy shit stirrer?

how did your husband respond to him?

Even though you understand it to be from a place of concern , genuinely , you’d still speak to HR? Don’t want him to lose his job ?
I mean ,what purpose would keeping HR informed about this serve ?

You might need to explain that. You're not making any sense.

Lol. Nefarious reasons = checking you're OK apparently.

Yes, it was a bit of an overstep but why aren't people able to woman up and actually speak to somebody themselves? Far better to just assert your boundaries and move on than to make it into something official and piss off your boss - in the long run you'll be the one that suffers most as this won't likely affect his career much but may very well affect yours if he's the one deciding whether to promote you or somebody else.

Best to just have a quiet word. It's extremely unlikely he'll ever do it again and if he does that's when you speak to HR. People on here are bonkers between being afraid to answer the front door or approach a boss. 😂

You've "dealt" with that?? How? The OP still hasnt answered my question from Page 5, so not sure how you have inside knowledge to "deal with it" 😂

Go to HR. Your boss is obviously concerned, but that was entirely unprofessional and I'm pretty sure GDPR illegal. You did not give your permission. Your boss should have gone to HR, if he had a concern. You also should go to HR, explain your boundaries clearly and request/insist a no-overtime order is placed against your name for the forseeable future. You have a family issue you're managing. You're capable of working within the limits of your contract. You're not available for overtime currently. You'll let the company know if/when this changes. You honestly don't need to be hurt/ offended/ emotional or explain. Just state what happened with your manager. You're entitled to privacy. You're also entitled to bring a supporting person with you to HR, if going alone seems daunting. I would definitely report it. Your manager needs to know his boundaries. Wishing you and your family the best.

Absolutely not ok, what if you had an abusive home life?

Absolutely unacceptable.

Big boss man has to check in with hubby to see what's up with little wifey because she's not as smiley as usual... and more importantly isn't saying yes to overtime.

I'd be absolutely fuming and would be raising an immediate complaint with HR.