For reacting to people who treat me poorly..assaulted at the doctors surgery

I actually had a very similar situation when I was out shopping (local retail park) and once I had finished put the trolley away I started putting the kids into the car.

whilst I was putting my 3yr old into her car seat (door open) a car was edging closer to me and revving, this made me panick and the seat was being a pain in the arse (felt like I was rushing).. my mum walked past them to get into the car and heard them say “oh why can’t she just fucking move” my mum chose to not say anything and ignore them..

they then parked in the spot next to us and was waving there arms around (at us) meanwhile I was getting ready to leave, my mum snapped and said “what is your problem there was plenty of other spaces but instead you chose to bully my daughter and grandchildren unnecessarily “ the man started telling my mum to fuck off and all sorts!!

it’s completely put me off parking in retail parks now! The pressure and nastiness was unreal!

OP you did nothing wrong, it’s dangerous what he was doing.. they try to bully you to make you go faster! Just awkward people who need to get a grip and stop trying to intimidate others.. you stood up for yourself and good on you! Xx

I wonder if the man who pushed you is worrying about his behaviour? As PP have said, he was clearly in the wrong. I bet he's not posting on grandadnet talkboards asking if he is being unreasonable for trying to run over a woman and her child. And then pushing them both plus a member of staff at the surgery. You sound great and it's a shame you have to change your entirely rational and justified response because idiots choose to escalate it to violence. There is big difference to standing up for yourself as you did and being violent and threatening which is what he chose to do.

For fucks sake there’s a world of difference between ‘aggressive man attacks woman’ and ‘30 something woman screams abuse at elderly man for parking mishap, starts up again after he walks away, forces receptionist to intervene and is now playing the victim when the receptionist is pushed’.

NO the man should NOT have pushed the receptionist but it was a push - not a punch or a kick, not prolonged - after having OP getting up in his face screaming abuse, not once but twice. He walked away from the OP initially and was followed. He was bang out of order but let’s not make out because of that OP is the victim here, or that this is ‘typical male aggression’. A melee is an entirely foreseeable result of creating such an unnecessary and hostile drama in public and OP needs to own that.

If the sexes were reversed here - if OP had become flustered and made a driving mistake, been screamed and sworn at and had a man try to hit her car, walked away but had him follow her and continue to shout abuse, and in her frustration had pushed the receptionist/him, everyone would say ‘You shouldn’t have pushed them but OMG the male aggression, I’m not surprised you felt threatened and couldn’t think straight’.

For anyone who has ever wondered why some women don't fight back when attacked by men, pretty much all the answers are in this thread

I have found this a very upsetting thing to read. I have been attacked by a man and had to fight with everything I had. I know what it is to feel yourself losing and know that you probably won't make it out. That's why I don't go around restarting things that are not important with strangers, men especially. If you've really had to fight, then you would know what was important and what was not.

Its happened to me too, OP. People and situations like this drive me mad. I wish I had the cool of dealing with it with grace but I am in fact happy that I manage to speak up at all. Better then stewing inside. The form of speaking up will improve with time, I am sure.

All of this

Don't worry about it. It's just posters who can't stand people disagreeing with them reporting you. I think Mumsnet automatically deletes all reported comments without even looking at them.

I think it’s good you acknowledge you have a problem. I don’t know what the answer is, but I really hate volatile, quick to anger people. I felt embarrassed for you when I read your post.

Think about how you come across to others, and more importantly, your child.

Perhaps therapy would help?

The irony.

What did I say that was so wrong?

People can react similarly because they never expect to be at risk because they've had nice lives, because they've always been the strongest - or because they've been the victim before and they're scared.

Why is that so offensive somebody's demanded it deleted?

I’m just the same.

I'm quite like you OP - I speak up if I feel there is an injustice to me or my family and will give as good as I get, if I get answered back. I probably wouldn't have carried it onto the GP surgery but I do get where you're coming from.

Oh great, another interrogation.

What is it now?

What part is lies?

I think you both might end up banned from the surgery if it keeps happening. There is no justification for his aggression, or for you pushing and throwing insults until you got an escalation. It sounds like you were ready to create drama from the start (readying yourself to scream and smack his car when in the end he drove off).

What? It's interesting how some of the posters defending the aggressive violent man are very aggressive posters who have to resort to absolute lies as well.

It’s absolutely nothing to do with you disagreeing with some of my posts. Which you’ve not even done, by the way, you’ve just repeatedly interogated me.

So what I am implying by my comment is - can you please stop?

Funny though, that you are asking me why I’m resorting to insults when your first response to me was:

Have you not even read the opening OP?

🤣

You do sound very confrontational. I generally give people who behave like this a wide berth.

I absolutely lost my shit with a man on the underground a few years. Ds2 is profoundly deaf and autistic... We were waiting to leave Stratford Station. As its the first station on the line you sometimes have to wait some while before you leave. Ds2 was being a bit noisy as he was excited as we were going to the theatre.
A man got on sat opposite us and decided to kick ds lightly on the ankle and told him to shhh.
I shouted at the man and said how dared he kick my son that my son was deaf and if the man had a problem with that then to speak to me not to bloody kick my son.
Ds then started to make his stressed noise which is akin to an air raid siren.
The man then said "issss alright.." He was drunk. I said it wasn't alright and that he had made my son cry and spoilt our trip to London. The whole carriage was silent and I didn't hear another peep from the man until he got off!
I've never been as angry before or since!!

This. Its called the moral highground. If the person genuinely is making a mistake, then you will have dealt with it appropriately and if they really are an arsehole, you will know yourself to be better than they are and so will the bystanders.

A mother at the primary school took my car door off as my child was climbing out. Her husband a solicitor threatened my insurance broker when I tried to claim. Three weeks later she wrote off another mothers parked car.

Today a water board van at the hospital parked in a disabled space blocking the drivers doors of the cars either side of him. Husband told him off. He ran across the road shouting back at husband. Oddly I saw him in the clinic and he glared at me. He was certainly in the wrong. Some people just don't care

@Namechangey23 I'd bet that as a child you were bullied and pushed around...and that's why as an adult you explode.

I used to be like that, too...
Took abuse as a child, and as a young adult, if someone triggered me, I'd go completely ballistic.

I too felt terrible guilt afterwards.

Once, in M&S, a woman of indeterminate age with matted hair punched me twice in the ribs in the food queue.

I said ''do that again and I will retaliate''

She did it again, and I slapped her face , not hard but it made a classic slapping sound.

Security guards just looked on.

After years of taking abuse, I'd had enough.

I too have confronted idle dog owners for letting their dog shit outside our house.

Have a dog? Clean up it's mess!

Sure

Is that simple enough to understand?

That is an insult. What are you implying by that comment? I have not misunderstood anything that you've said, I'm an educated woman. By me merely disagreeing with some of your posts, you resort to this comment?

Don't be daft he assaulted a receptionist not the OP