For reacting to people who treat me poorly..assaulted at the doctors surgery

OP did nothing wrong! The man assaulted HER! Why on earth might she be removed? Ffs

These days, you just don't know how someone is going to react if they are challenged.

Some don't care about being violent as a reaction, have seen this a few times.

People are generally arseholes.

So OP is a dick, got it.

And if he was writing the thread it would be ‘she shouldn’t have screamed abuse at you, but…’

Would the man have been ‘calling out’ OP’s shitty behaviour if the roles had been reversed, or would you say it was classic male aggression in him screaming abuse for a parking mishap, and that whatever OP had done he shouldn’t have intimidated her in that way?

This thread has typically polarised into extreme responses. I don't think anyone has actually said OP should have let the car hit her. That would be ridiculous. What they are sayng, as is she, is that she over reacted AFTERWARDS leading to a situation that left her feeling awful.

Since the man did eventually move to another space, I would likely have said nothing in the waiting room. But I don't think it was wrong to do so, just that there are other ways to bring it up without antagonising. Of course it's not her fault that he pushed her but she was responsible for antagonising him (and it could well have been a woman) and she asked for help in how to avoid this kind of thing in future.

I agree with this.

I think going into the reception and starting an argument, then getting angry that he didn't respond how she wanted, and continuing to push it to get the last word was a silly thing to do. OP says herself she didn't think anyone would get hurt, which suggests she only continued to keep provoking an argument because she decided he'd probably not do anything.

Most people don't go through life seeking to start arguments and have the last word. OP might benefit from trying to get to the bottom of why she feels compelled to start picking arguments with people because one day someone (of either sex) is going to not take well to a stranger goading them.

Do you think that's why there's so much male violence in the world? Because they were abused or bullied childhood?

OK so you do have experiences from childhood that would explain your reactions OP? The fact they are 'a long time ago' is irrelevant. Trauma in childhood can affect people for a life time if they don't deal with it. A lot of therapy is based around this exact issue.

This thread has typically polarised into extreme responses. I don't think anyone has actually said OP should have let the car hit her. That would be ridiculous. What they are sayng, as is she, is that she over reacted AFTERWARDS leading to a situation that left her feeling awful.

Since the man did eventually move to another space, I would likely have said nothing in the waiting room. But I don't think it was wrong to do so, just that there are other ways to bring it up without antagonising. Of course it's not her fault that he pushed her but she was responsible for antagonising him (and it could well have been a woman) and she asked for help in how to avoid this kind of thing in future.

No need for all the man haters to cheer her on.

@Namechangey23

"Correct. Like to think it doesn't affect me now tho as that was a long time ago..*"
*
Well it obviously has affected you!! So much so, you've made a post about getting help for the way you react to things.

@Namechangey23 I found realising the reason for my getting so suddenly and irrationally angry sometimes made it get better {being powerless as a child and having to put up with abuse}
I can understand why you were frightened and thought the man might reverse into you!
I have had to 'Smack' the backs of cars occasionally when they reverse out of a driveway where it crosses a pavement! {and Doctor's Surgery car parks are notoriously bad for older people not looking before reversing.. I walk to our GP's and you really have to watch out for cars doing erratic things! , ESPECIALLY reversing where people seem to be stiff necked and don't use their mirrors or swivel their heads to look behind them.

Once I was given a lift to a funeral where the church car park gave on to a Dual Carriageway ....the old chap driving turned right into ONCOMING traffic..It was only my ''We are in the wrong lane!'' and onward vehicles beeping loudly at us that made him realise and to do a terrifying U turn ...his excuse ?

''That he lives in the Country'' and wasn't used to dual carriageways.

That was deffo squeaky bum time.

For what it is worth I would have reacted the same for a man woman or whoever if they tried to run me and my child over repeatedly.

Oh this makes things far more serious, as trying to run you and your child over repeatedly, is surely attempted murder?

You should have called the police immediately, why didn't you?

Regardless of whatever led to the verbal altercation there is never, not EVER, an excuse for physically assaulting another person. Especially a child and especially someone who isn't even a part of the argument (receptionist). To me it sounds like you've called out shitty behaviour but because others are too polite to ever do so it's somehow seen as wrong. Maybe you could have handed the situation slightly differently, but you did nothing wrong in calling him out.

I may have missed it, but I'd be interested in knowing how the receptionist/surgery dealt with his physical assault?

Tbh, the people who behave like dicks…..are dicks, and you will just never hear them apologise for their behaviour. Ever. As they actually believe what they’re doing is right. But it’s not what you say, it’s how it’s delivered. You can re-act to what they say and be firm but polite, to get your point across. As the saying goes, if you have to raise your voice to get someone to listen to you, you’ve already lost the battle. You absolutely did the right thing, but composure is the way to go.

It was reasonable in the car park to say something and shout to keep yourself safe.

It was unreasonable to go into the surgery and go looking for a fight because you'd decided he wasn't going to get away with it and you wanted to have the last word so kept goading and arguing because you'd decided he was older and unlikely to retaliate.

His violence was obviously unacceptable.

But yes it was absolutely not your fault that the man got physical and I’m so sorry - I hope it got reported to the police?!

I do the same OP, I go into ‘fight or flight’ mode very easily. Not in relationships or at work etc, actually in known environments I am reasonable and can somehow sort through emotions - but on my own in unknown situations I get very very upset quickly and things escalate. My DH is always shocked that I can often have a row when I go out. I also struggle to deal with what I see as a perceived slight or an injustice. I’m looking into ADHD actually for a number of reasons but this is one of them. Not sure what the answer is but you aren’t alone! I’m trying not to do it in front of my kids as they get older so that is helping me at least.

I think in general people have a lot less patience/respect/ understanding these days and it's sad to see. Most people I come across daily are under some kind of stress or literally could blow up with one wrong word. I think it's a sign of the uneasy and uncertain times we are living in.

I don't think you were unreasonable for being annoyed or saying something, I would have done the same. Since becoming a mum I have so much more empathy for mothers than before I had my DD. We spend so much of our time being invisible to most that I can understand how easy it is to get annoyed when someone seemingly actually doesn't see you there with your child.

Him physically pushing you and the receptionist is absolutely not okay.

OP, I’m like you — can’t let things go. To be honest, though, I don’t think you did anything wrong in this instance. (These two statements may be connected!) He drove in a way that put you in danger, then failed to acknowledge that or apologise for it. No, he doesn’t have to apologise and you didn’t have to pull him up on it inside the surgery, but I don’t think you were necessarily wrong to do so either. (There are good and bad ways of doing this, of course, and that’s where I often get it wrong…) Either way, though, he then PUSHED you and the receptionist. I’m really surprised at the number of people who seem to think you’re at fault here, when he escalated things way beyond anything you’d done — and the people saying you might end up barred from the surgery. If anyone should be barred, I think it’s him!

No. According to people on here, the appropriate thing to do is to lie prone on the ground and allow the man to drive over you. Extra points if you manage to get your dc squashed alongside you.

No shouting allowed. Even whilst being run over.

I have the opposite problem! I’m not assertive enough! There was an elderly woman crossing a zebra crossing verryyyy slowly and I was walking behind her with my children. The car waiting started revving & I sort of eye balled her & pointed towards the elderly woman as if to say… I can’t go any faster! She rolled down her window and called me a stupid cunt and said she was a carer and it wasn’t the elderly woman she had issue with it was me. She was being completely unreasonable and I should have told her to go fuck herself but instead went ‘ok.’ 😠 I anger myself sometimes!

Yet another one

NO the man should NOT have pushed the receptionist but...