For reacting to people who treat me poorly..assaulted at the doctors surgery

The world is full of arseholes and you joining in will generally end badly. I don't think you need to feel guilty but it is worth making a mental note that you don't have the social skills to manage the situation successfully once you have escalated it, and bear that in mind before doing so.

I suppose this is why so many people content themselves with tutting and muttering and dirty looks...it causes inconvenience to everyone when you wrestle the pig!

YABVU and need to control yourself.

You are setting a very poor example for your son.

The right time to deploy assertiveness is when you need an appointment for a sick child, or a bill is wrong, or something needs dealing with urgently. And sarcasm and aggression won't work then either.

I agree with this and this is the approach I take when driving. I notice people almost look surprised if you just smile and put the thumbs up if they’ve made a minor mistake or taking ages to park. People seem to expect they are going to get an aggressive, impatient response and when they don’t you can see the relief and everyone goes about their day thinking people aren’t so bad after all!

Wow, that is really nasty.

It makes sense that you have practice with this kind of thing because you are quite obviously the problem.

There is a certain type of person with a compulsion to park closest to the supermarket (doctors) entrance which means spending 5min reversing into the narrowest space whilst everyone else who took the first free space at the end of the car park is already down Isle 3!

All sound like a load of cunts, not you. On the flip side I grew up with a very non confrontational mum and learned to say something otherwise you just get walked all over. People are so used to behaving how they like and assume people won't say anything, then get their back up when someone points their shit behaviour out. I don't blame you for saying something.

I think you were an absolute tool tbh, you put your child at risk and ended up getting someone assaulted (just doing their job) due to your own irresponsible actions and behaviour.

Yes. You take a huge risk when confronting a stranger as you've no idea how they'll react.

This.

One day you well get your teeth kicked in and I'd imagine you wouldn't like that to happen in front of your child so perhaps seek therapy for your behaviour problems.

What an awful reply.

This is what not to do.

But assertiveness wasn't needed! He made a mistake, nothing happened, you could have both dealt with it maturely. One day you will be backing as stressed and do the same. Do you want the person to start up with you?

I go through life remembering that some people are just dickheads. I like to do what's right (probably as a very anxious person) and I can't control other people who don't do what's right. I'm usually prevented from confronting them by remembering that people who don't do the right thing are going to be unreasonable when challenged.

I completely disagree with what people are telling you above, completely.

The world works much better if you assume most people are trying to do the right thing. The guy wasn't trying to run you down or hit your kids. Think about what you are saying. He had an accident, as people do, when they are flustered themselves trying to park. He manoeuvred into a space that was probably the easiest to back into, and then you banged his car (fair enough).

The sensible thing to do, given he immediately stopped and didn't ram your kids, would have been to give a brief smile and say- phew, sorry, I thought you were going to hit us! He would have then said 'I'm so sorry, I didn't see you' etc.

I never ever escalate these situations, I park in a hospital about two to three times a week and the parking is a nightmare, and people drive too close, people are wandering around, you don't have great visibility, and all of it goes much better when everyone is kind, offers up their space, waves to say thanks and apologises if there's a problem. I've spend nearly a decade going in and out of the place and not had one, one incident, and most people are cheery and nice, and resigned that small car parks and large cars are the way it is right now.

Why pick a fight, your child got pushed. Just stop. Just assume the best and go in with a reasonably ok face and not angry and picking fights. If you had a go at me, I'd have one back, and be extremely cross myself as of course he wasn't running you down on purpose, he made a mistake.

Do you want people to forgive your mistakes? Then do so in others and protect your kids better by stopping escalating with strangers.

I would have done the same, but rather than confronting him in reception, I would have said to the receptionist ( so he can hear): the gentleman seems to have no awareness and repeatedly tried to reverse into me and my child. I’m going to report his driving, but I’m letting you know he is not safe, in case there is a medical underlying reason. And then tilt my head at him.

I live in God’s waiting room it seems, got practice with this kind of shit.

learn when to let things go. Don't scream at anyone.

One day you'll start on the wrong person, and it will end badly I expect.

I think this sounds insane. You provoked him for no good reason other than wanting to have the last word. You put your son and yourself at risk for what was essentially a parking error, maybe he didn't see you, maybe he thought he could fit in beside you or maybe he always parks there. He did move off & park elsewhere and that should have been the end of it. If I'm being completely honest you should have been grateful to him for not parking next to you! If someone provoked me in this way I would also be angry albeit I wouldn't push anyone but it sounds like you kept on at him. In a place where people go when they are unwell. I don't agree with other posters who seem to think this other man is at fault - you caused this and behaved inappropriately in front of your baby. If you seriously can't keep your temper in check you should ask for referral to anger management services.

The world is never going to operate in such a way that you will never encounter annoying people doing stupid things. I find it’s almost a daily occurrence so if I reacted to every small incident I’d be forever losing my temper. This was a minor incident. Nothing bad happened. I would have just let it go. What did you think you were going to achieve by upbraiding him in public in the Surgery? I think gut instinct and/or experience would tell you that you were not going to get the contrite apology you were seeking and thought was rightfully yours. You recognise yourself that every time you react in this way you end up more upset than if you had just ignored and got on with your day.

Whilst I think you were right to be annoyed the fact he parked elsewhere after being alerted to your presence would have been enough for me to leave it there. You then chose to escalate it further in what sounds like an abrasive manner which caused other people to get involved.
You then mention other similar incidents, so I would question how you are delivering the message. The manner in which you speak and body language can determine the response you get.

I don't think I would have pursued the conversation inside the surgery. However nothing justifies him pushing you, your child and the receptionist.

I think what you did in the car park was fair enough. You were trying to alert him to the fact you were there in case he hadn’t seen you and you didn’t want to get hurt. Fair enough.

Im not sure I’d have bothered starting a conversation up in the surgery though and if I did I wouldn’t have let it escalate to an argument. I would have left the convo when I saw what was going on.

he was the idiot though, not you. First he practically reversed into you and then he pushed people. That’s not the way to behave.

I think you should take this as a lesson and have a think about how you behave in situations. What are you gaining from losing it with people? Maybe address your anger somehow?

I think if I were in your situation in the surgery car park, when the guy was reversing towards my car, would have just closed my car door, allowed him to park and then carry on. Maybe you could have got your child from the other side?

Was it really worth making such a scene inside the surgery? How embarrassing and even though you feel the guy wasn't in the wrong, you say he was elderly, you have no idea what might be wrong with him. How do you know he's not grieving or really sick?