For reacting to people who treat me poorly..assaulted at the doctors surgery

I have this OP. I cannot let something go if I think there has been an injustice. It's particularly hard if I feel my children have been treated badly. Anyway - this article resonated with me, I don't know if it might help you. I'm not suggesting that you have ADHD, but some people are more sensitive to injustice and have a much stronger reaction to it.

I wish I could let things go and shrug things off, believe me it would be better for me, but I can get quite fixated if I feel someone has behaved dishonestly and can't seem to let it go.

https://www.additudemag.com/why-am-i-so-sensitive-adhd-in-adults/

@Woodenwonder this is hardly just someone wanting to 'park next to' the OP. He almost reversed right into her while she was trying to get her child out of the car. To me, that is outrageous

@nonumbersinthisname totally agree with this advice. You need to let go of control. You can't control other people or how they behave. You can only control how you respond.

It is also important to bear in mind that you have no idea what is going on in other people's lives which makes them behave the way they do.

I remember I was once walking around a supermarket in a daze as a family member was dying, I had hardly slept and I could barely function. I bumped into someone accidentally and got a harsh word. It made me cry, right there and then in a supermarket. It was at the time of masking and I was so grateful for the mask.

Advice I received that I try and live by (not always successfully) is 'whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it'

When I do this the outcome is always so much better than if I fight it or try to change it.

Sorry this happened to you. I can be mouthy, but because of how dangerous people, particularly men can be I an a lot bore careful now. So while he absolutely shouldn't have pushed anyone, unfortunately it's quite predictable men will react like this. So for your safety I'd keep yourself in check in future.

Also most suvs, however cheap are a bit big for parking spaces.

No. Explosive? You're being very dramatic. You actually are the one that sounds unstable. Are you scared of everything?

And the people who are undermining ops own admirable ownership of her behaviour by saying "but look at the man!" Are part of the problem.

Another mouthy arse here. The world needs mouthy arses, imo, to call out all the CFs.

So you gobbed off, picked a fight you couldn't finish (in front of your child!) and someone else got assaulted trying to break you up? Stellar role modelling there.

Yes he was wrong but you chose to carry on the fight. Doesn't matter how much he pissed you off. Do you know that is what all abusive people say. 'It was their fault because they pissed me off.' No. YOU are responsible for your own behaviour. You acted like a yob and made a right show of yourself. You need to grow up and set a better example for your kids.

It’s of course not the Ops fault that the man pushed her. His actions are his and he was absolutely wrong. It’s also understandable that she was upset by his actions. We can’t control other peoples actions or prevent other people from be aggressive.

However we can act in ways that escalate a situation or deescalate a situation. In this situation op escalated it and chose to do that with her child near by. She had a choice to walk away with her child or to shout back and escalate the situation. If you regularly act in ways that escalate situations to arguments then you probably do need to have a think about how you deal with things. Normal people rarely have shouting matching in public spaces. If it’s happening regularly and op knows she contributes the situations she’s been in then clearly she is right to put thought into changing how she approaches things.

Yes it's annoying when somebody wants to park next to you, but it's not worth ending up in a scuffle - people die regularly because aggressive people can disagree peaceably. Three people have already died because of parking and road rage this year alone and it's only February.

OP let her understandable protectiveness over her son and her bonkers possessiveness over the territory of the parking space drive her to silly regrettable behaviour. As the saying goes "fuck around and find out".

They both escalated it. She escalated it by being verbally aggressive, then he further escalated it by physically pushing two women.

Two people are responsible for their behaviour here. The man was being a dick, and is responsible for his own actions, and how he chose to react in that situation. The posts blaming the OP for "basically causing" the assault are terrifying: pushing was the man's decision and the man's fault.

Likewise, choosing to react in a verbally aggressive and confrontational way was the OP's decision. She's responsible for her own behaviour and her own reactions. At least she's being self aware enough to come on here, rethink her behaviour and wonder how she can start to do things differently. Hopefully that will start to break a generational cycle of aggression (I would guess).

Do we think the man is currently online somewhere, asking advice about how to change his behaviour? Yeah, no.

Well, this has been an interesting read and made me think about my own behaviour. I'm a bit reactionary to incidents like these and don't always handle it well. I suppose I think if inconsiderate people aren't called out they'll carry on and someone needs to stand up to them. However, it's risky and can backfire. It doesn't mean we should all be meek and allow others to act like dickheads with impunity but you need to pick your battles and learn how to do it with skill.

You did nothing wrong, I would have had to say something too. Some people have no consideration from others, he obviously went to park in that space because he could, rather than showing a bit of decency and parking somewhere else

Well done for having the self awareness around the impact of your own behaviours.

What comes across from your posts OP is a strong sense of righteousness and the desire for other people to behave to your own standards (eg apologising for mistakes etc). I’d suggest that while it’s good to hold yourself to high standards, you can’t control other people or how they react. So you need better coping strategies to avoid the red mist descending when you encounter other people who you perceive as behaving wrongly.

The old man at the GP - what were you hoping to gain out of the interaction in reception? An apology? An admission he was wrong and you were right? Just venting? I used to be quite reactive too and had to learn to let a lot of things go. Thinking what I wanted to achieve in a situation helped me do that. Plus realising that being pleasant (even though inside I was seething) got me a lot further than my usual sarcasm.

What a ridiculous and unhinged comment.

OP wasnt causing a scene over a parking space.

She was upset over the idiot nearly running her and her child over.

Oh here we go....

This reply is absolutely unhinged.

Hello, are you me? I am much the same. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t have a very happy childhood and have a pretty aggressive father who was forever calling strangers out, so I’ve always assumed it’s come out of that.

Wow. This thread is insane. It's NOT the OPs fault that the man was aggressive. We shouldn't have to tip toe through life so as not to upset the men.

The posters calling people cunts and wankers and tossers are the low bar of how to function well in society, where sometimes things aren't going to go your way. Aim way higher than them, be polite but assertive and walk away (or don't start) unnecessary drama.

Anyone else find it terrifying if someone with such an explosive temper capable of causing an absolute scene in a public place over a parking space is in charge of a young baby?
If this were a man, what would happen? As the medical staff I’m surprised they didn’t taking that baby off you until satisfied you are stable enough to leave and care for it safely.

The man sounds like a a complete arsehole which he proved when he used physical force to try and dominate the women and child, thus winning (in his mind) the argument. You can be sure he has done this before, it didn't come out of nowhere.

Do you have any trauma from childhood? In my experience people who struggle to not be able to control their response to being triggered have experienced some kind of trauma and so their learnt behaviours/responses aren't necessarily what they would like them to be.
Now I'm not saying you shouldn't have been annoyed by that man but if you feel you aren't happy with your reaction and don't know why you do it then I'd suspect it's from past learnt behaviours. I'd always recommend therapy to someone who isn't happy with how they react to things.