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Original poster

To be upset my mum wants to get my wedding photos edited?

187 replies

riotlady · 09/02/2024 09:11

I got married a couple of years ago and we had a really lovely photographer who is old friends with my husband so kindly gave us a discount (still not cheap though, obviously!) and we were really happy with the results.

My parents don’t like having photos up in the house but asked us for a photobook which I said I would sort out, but now they’ve changed their mind and said they want to send a our wedding photos to a family member to edit them for them. Apparently he’s already done one for them to make it “better”, which feels a little rude to be honest. Family member has a photography style that I don’t really enjoy (a little cheesy if that makes sense- the sort where he’ll put everything in black and white but leave a little girls dress pink) whereas our photographer was more of a natural documentary style.

Fair enough that it’s not my parents style and not what they would have chosen, but they’re my wedding pictures and I really like them! It feels a bit disrespectful to our photographer and to us. Initially I said yes that’s fine (as I usually do with my mum) but now I feel quite reluctant about it. Not sure if I’m being precious and I should let them get on with it or if it’s a fair thing to object to.

OP posts:
MimiSunshine · 09/02/2024 09:39

riotlady · 09/02/2024 09:18

the contract is a really good point I hadn’t thought of but I don’t think I still have it! It was a paper one and we’ve moved house since. I will have a look though

Just tell her the contract with your photographer doesn’t allow for them to be edited by others.

you don’t need to actually show her the contract.

Ktime · 09/02/2024 09:38

I wouldn't give them. They're your wedding photos, you should control how they appear.

Dogdilemma2000 · 09/02/2024 09:38

Standard copyright law applies here - he is not legally allowed to edit them without the copyright owner (the photographer)’s permission

TomeTome · 09/02/2024 09:37

Just say no. You are allowed to.

Createausername1970 · 09/02/2024 09:37

riotlady · 09/02/2024 09:26

No, she had a handful I’ve texted her when we got them but she wants me to send her the digital ones.

@Zombiemama84 its everyone, the whole thing! She wants 100 photos of the whole day

Show quote history

Then that would be big fat NO from me.

Don't be hassled into doing something you don't want to do.

ItsAllGoingWrongNow · 09/02/2024 09:35

But what's the actual harm? Are people that unbelievably precious about their wedding photos?

Life is far too short to stress about something like this.

10ThousandSpoons · 09/02/2024 09:35

It was in the contract for mine that we couldn't edit them

DRS1970 · 09/02/2024 09:35

Their picture, their choice really. Perhaps a bit clumsy saying they made it better, but parents are like that sometimes. They may only have a problem if your photographer retains copyright to his work.

CloudPop · 09/02/2024 09:34

I can't believe so many people are relaxed about this. I wouldn't be happy at all with anyone editing any of my photos, let alone wedding ones. It's a truly bizarre thing to do and incredibly rude

jolies1 · 09/02/2024 09:31

“We like them the way they are, mum. That’s why we picked our photographer not yours. We aren’t keen on so and so’s style. We can send you a few digital prints but I don’t have the time to send you 100 photos to be edited.”

ItsAllGoingWrongNow · 09/02/2024 09:29

I wouldn't care about this at all. Can't see what harm it does to anyone, other than the copyright issue.

I thought from your title she was going to airbrush out something or someone, not just change the style.

Grimbelina · 09/02/2024 09:29

Zombiemama84

Tell them your photographer owns the rights to them and other people cannot edit them, thats true for a lot of photographers.

This is the solution. I would assume copyright by the original photographer and wouldn't bother trying to find the actual contract.

Maray1967 · 09/02/2024 09:29

Yes, very disrespectful. Tell her your contract doesn’t permit it.

LadyDanburysHat · 09/02/2024 09:28

No chance I would let her have them all like that. I might let her have ones of her but that's it

CorylusAgain · 09/02/2024 09:28

I'm with you OP.

I think there's a difference between The Wedding Photos and photos of the wedding.

What you commissioned was a set of photos in a particular style. It's an artistic commission just like a painting.

There will be other pictures taken by guests your dm can have altered etc. But your Wedding Photos should remain as original.

Tell her the copyright prohibits alterations.

OrlandointheWilderness · 09/02/2024 09:28

That is incredibly disrespectful to the original photographer.

OnOtherPlanets · 09/02/2024 09:26

Tell her your sorry your wedding day wasn’t cheesy and sentimental enough for her.

(My SIL, of whom I am very fond, has a massive photo of her wedding day on the living room wall in which she, the groom, three bridesmaids and three groomsmen are all jumping n the air on a beach, printed in black and white apart from the pink bouquets, pink buttonholes and pink ties. She also has one somewhere else in which she’s leading a horse through a stable yard in full 80s wedding meringue dress, and no, she has no interest in horses, it was just another ‘inspired’ idea from Cheese Photographer, when he saw they’d gone from the church to the reception in a horse-drawn carriage.)

Original poster
riotlady · 09/02/2024 09:26

Createausername1970 · 09/02/2024 09:21

Did your mum have her own copy of the photos? If she did, then I guess she can do what she wants with them.

If she is asking for your wedding album, then I would refuse.

Either way, don't mention it again unless she does, and at that point just say you have given it some thought and changed your mind.

No, she had a handful I’ve texted her when we got them but she wants me to send her the digital ones.

@Zombiemama84 its everyone, the whole thing! She wants 100 photos of the whole day

OP posts:
Zombiemama84 · 09/02/2024 09:23

Tell them your photographer owns the rights to them and other people cannot edit them, thats true for a lot of photographers. Is it just photos of them they want edited or others too? Either way its a bit odd, it was your wedding day! Why try to change it.

yikesanotherbooboo · 09/02/2024 09:23

This is something to feel mildly irritated by at most; I don't think you should try to prevent it.They have different taste to you that's all .I can see there might be a problem with copyright but beyond that making an issue sounds a bit patronising and mean.

Createausername1970 · 09/02/2024 09:21

Did your mum have her own copy of the photos? If she did, then I guess she can do what she wants with them.

If she is asking for your wedding album, then I would refuse.

Either way, don't mention it again unless she does, and at that point just say you have given it some thought and changed your mind.

Mazuslongtoenail · 09/02/2024 09:20

riotlady · 09/02/2024 09:18

the contract is a really good point I hadn’t thought of but I don’t think I still have it! It was a paper one and we’ve moved house since. I will have a look though

You don’t really need to find it. If you don’t want it to happen, just tell your mum that you’re not allowed 🤷🏼‍♀️

Noideawwhatsoccuring · 09/02/2024 09:20

I genuinely don’t see the issue.

Assuming she can do this. Really don’t see the problem.

You have the ones you like and she wants a slightly different style for her house and for her own keep sake.

and so what if other people see hers?

FluffyFlufferson · 09/02/2024 09:19

My MIL edited mine because she didn’t like the colour of the flowers. Then she presented us with the ‘improved’ version in a frame for Christmas. It annoyed me a lot!

Janetime · 09/02/2024 09:18

Can’t see the issue myself, it’s just style, who cares.