To really not understand baby led weaning?

How about letting her hold the spoon?

If she's not keen on spoonfeeding or feeding herself, then maybe she's just not into food yet. As long as you keep offering, it's ok for her not to take it.

I didn't do baby led weaning with mine and they're fine.

I didn't let them smear food all over themselves and make a mess.

I did purées and tiny bird sized bits of food. I know that's not recommended but it really worked for us.

I would break the tiniest bits of toast off my toast for example and place it in their mouths- to get them used to different tastes and chewing a bit.

Then I moved onto really soft biscuits that disintegrate in their mouth. I would just give them those to hold and they'd slowly start eating them. Or those Ella puff sticks.

I went really really really slowly. Neither of my kids ever chocked or even gagged.

I don't think it made any difference to anything tbh. They eat everything now and by the time they were 1, they were able to eat the same stuff baby lead weaning babies could eat.

Some baby lead weaning mums were a bit superior at some stages, as they felt like my babies were ' behind '. Maybe there were at certain points, but it's not made a difference over all.

I just don't think you need to go through the choking and gagging stage to wean your child, if it doesn't work for you.

I don't think baby led weaning is vastly superior to other forms of weaning and some people can get a bit overly obsessed with it, but it's probably one of the most straightforward ways of weaning if it works for you and your baby. But if it doesn't work, there's nothing wrong with trying a different way.

I did it the easiest way possible, by stopping adding salt to my meals and letting my babies take food off my plate while they sat on my lap at mealtimes. After a couple of months they were eating enough food to make it worthwhile to give them a highchair and their own plate.

A fad? 😂

Mine are 19 and 17 and it was a thing when they were babies. We did it with both of ours but it was messy...that's about all I remember about it though

Agree. Not sure why people make it out as a fad.

My boys were about one when their first teeth came. I did purée with DS1 because I was worried about choking. With DS2, he showed signs of wanting food, mimicking our mouths at around five months. Not wanting to have to do separate meals, tried BLW. Started with soft berries, ripe banana, soft stone fru
its, boiled potato, steamed carrots, peas, cheerios, pasta, etc. He was feeding himself by picking food up with is fingers instead of me spoon-feeding him.

I was warned it was messy but he rarely made a mess unless it was something like oatmeal. I plan to do BLW with DD1 who has been doing the same thing as DS2 and she’s three months. She’s constantly watching us and staring at our food. Still going to wait until she’s older though but I can surely say her gums are strong enough due to the times she has bitten me through nursing.

Do not panic. My 3 DC also did not read the weaning manual. My eldest rejected all my lovingly prepared purées so it was BLW or bust. They spent at least a month just waving food around passing the time until I gave them milk. They then progressed to the occasional nibble but still everything went on the floor. By the time they were about 10 months old something clicked and they were eating like champs. Never any issues with choking and only gagged very rarely and I didn’t bother with purées for the younger 2 as I found BLW much easier but none of them really “ate” until 10 months but were eating meals with only a few milk feeds by a year old. You’ll get there.

It sounds like she's just not quite ready. I'd give it a break for a week, but take her to the table often and show her what to do. Try again in a week but don't wait months. They need to learn between 6ish and 9ish months so they are competent enough to start replacing the milk.

And BLW is just that the baby leads. It doesn't mean finger food only and no purées. It's important to let them learn to chew with finger foods but it is still BLW if you load a spoon with purée and give them the spoon to feed to themselves. Most people end up doing a mix of purée and finger foods. You don't need to buy purées. Just mash what you were going to give her, or what you are eating.

Solid Starts really is excellent. In particular their instagram if you aren't following it. They also have a 100 day plan which is great and takes all the thinking out of it. If you can't afford to buy it, you can apply to them to get it for free. Charlotte Stirling Reed's book How to Feed your Baby is also excellent and has a 30 day plan that is a mix of purées and finger foods.

I hated it with both of mine.

How old is your baby?

It's a long process but will click one day and be fine

Mine used to love warm buttered slice of toast cut diagonally. They could hold it, mush it, suck it.

And be patient with weaning, it probably won’t be a quick process, you just have to take the time to do it slowly and give a range of food types

How are purées expensive? Just cook some veg or fruit and blend it to start with, then start blending the food you eat such as bolognese, stews, mash.

Weaning will suck the soul out of even the hardiest of parents. Just keep on trucking on

I found weaning in general handwork, boring and painful in equal measure for both of mine 🤦🏻‍♀️

Neither really ate anything consistently until at least 9 months (apart from melty puffs - the horror!)

I tried to make it as easy for myself as possible. While I didn't necessarily puree stuff I tried to have a plate which had something I'd spoon and something they could pick up. So breakfast might be yoghurt and fingers of pear. Tea would be leftovers from the night before, maybe mashed potato and a strip of chicken.

At nearly 4 and 2 it's still phases of eating everything or nothing

As others have said initially not much, if any, food is actually eaten.

We did a mixture of purées and finger food from six months. DS had no teeth at that point, his first tooth came through on his first birthday. His favourite thing to do with the finger foods was pick them up and drop them on the floor.

I didn't even try BLW. It sounded ridiculous, to be honest but then I understand giving it a go if she is also refusing purees.

She might not be quite ready yet but I'd keep giving it a go at least once a day as she's going on for 7 months. Just remember that BLW is optional and the NHS are also just as supportive of and still recommend traditional weaning too, it's just personal preference.

At that age it is about the baby trying different tastes and textures and handling food not really "eating". I do recall Tanya Byron (I think) saying that a child needs to taste something 18 times before it's accepted.

Weaning can be a slow process but as others have said they all end up eating food with cutlery in the end

Op, 8 grandchildren in and I can honestly say I hate it with a passion because of how stupid it makes me feel even after having 5 children of my own. I know how to grow children but BLW is beyond me. Thankfully though my children all said just feed the children the way you want to mum, you didn’t go wrong with us, so I do. With BLW I’d nearly have a heart attack with all the gagging but most of all I’d feel so blooming angry with myself about not being able to manage it that I could have quite happily thrown the whole bloody lot of bits and pieces out the window.

I hated it too. I did purees and just introduced very safe finger foods that dissolve in the mouth like those puffs. Moved to mixed by about 8/9 months.
Do what you and your baby feel most comfortable with. They all eat food with knives and forks in the end (even if I still have to nag my 6yo to use cutlery).