To really not understand baby led weaning?

Quite OP! I hate it when my DH presses on with the BLW and tell him please don’t make DC have negative associations with meal times. DC loves purées though - most of the time anyway! This is more important to me at this age - that it’s enjoyable and they’re eating more and more in terms of variety and volume of food. Of course there are always low appetite days too! Do what feels right for you.

The baby led weaned children stick out like a sore thumb in the lunch hall at school. Their faces are absolutely covered in food most days and their use of cutlery is shocking. It’s a fad that I hope runs it’s course VERY quickly!!!

Just wondering how many meals you’re trying? You said about fitting it into the day, so that makes me think you’re trying two or three. I did have a look through your posts but couldn’t see if you’d mentioned it. When I started weaning my little boy, he only had one ‘meal’ a day for maybe the first 6 weeks. Then up to two for another few weeks. When they’re mainly relying on milk and having what feels like a million feeds in the day, it’s so tough to fit solid meals in again. If you are doing more than one, maybe try to strip it right back for a few weeks. Toast tomorrow then maybe some steamed broccoli or apple the next day. Even if she takes one bit into her mouth she’s learning. Three weeks in is very early days, so try not to put too much pressure on yourself. I went with BLW because it suited my little boy but I was fully prepared to go with purées if it hadn’t.

Interesting as I would have fed to their mouth at the beginning and also fed when hungry so they were more interested in eating, we all gave our ways!

Each to their own but worked fine for me..

I did BLW but ignored all online pics including solid starts about how to serve the food as it was terrifying, baby sucking in whole fingers of stuff.. I just cut everything up really small and gradually give them bigger and bigger pieces :-)

@LetsGoOutside feeding babies normal family food is how babies have been weaned since the dawn of time. No one in the dark ages was pureeing fruit and veg for their baby. Purees are the fad. Also no idea where you’re getting that people are just mushing up food anyway, and not everyone eats salt laden ready meals some of us just cook normal food

This is one of the craziest trends I’ve ever seen! First time mum here, baby is 8 1/2 months old, I started on homemade purees. All the BLW videos I’ve seen parents end up mushing it and then feeding their babies anyway. Plus what about all the salts and other ingredients in
food we eat! Crazy! I wanted to teach LO how to use a spoon and feed himself first so we could all sit and enjoy tea. To me that was more important than BLW something he wouldn’t even be able to do which would just cause him frustration. BLW is stupid in my opinion.

Most people I know did BLW. I tried and it was not a success at all and I soon stopped. I wasn't worried about choking - it never got to that because my daughter spat out everything that had even the slightest bit of texture to it. By her 10 month review she was still just having milk and yogurt. The HV suggested I stop breastfeeding to encourage her to eat more solids. I obviously ignored that advice. She is now 15 months, goes to nursery and seems to eat fine (lunchbox is usually empty when she comes home, weight is fine).

Also, part of my problem with purees is that she just wants to grab the puree end of the spoon and then spread it everywhere. I give her a clean spoon in each hand (thanks insta) and she happily bangs them on the tray whilst admitting puree into her mouth from my spoon.

With finger food, I think she was looking at my 'concerned you're going to choke/hypervigilance' face and finding it off-putting. And that's OK. It's OK I find it nerve-wracking. We do a bit of both finger foods and purees depending on what's on the menu. I am trying to relax a bit. So less baby-led and more muddle-through together

IMO - Try not to worry about her actually eating. She will be getting most of her nutrition from milk still. Just remember she is a baby and it is all new - the sensations in her mouth of taste and texture, using her gums to mush the food, using her tongue to manipulate the food to the back of the throat and then coordinating swallowing. It’s a lot so it’s no wonder not much actually goes in her tummy.

We eat primarily for the purpose of eating but babies at this age eat to learn how to eat. It’s the sensory experience rather than the full tummy which is important.

Just keep giving her the opportunity with different foods and she will get there.

I did BLW with DS and liked it - but I read the whole of Gill Rapley's books about it (explains the rationale, evidence, how to cut up the food, etc.) and that really helped us feel confident about what we were doing. The key things for us were never putting anything in the baby's mouth ourselves, and making sure he wasn't hungry when starting out (ie already had mlk feed before solid food offered, so not frustrated). Would definitely recommend the book if finding it confusing/frustrating.

I remember weaning being quite stressful for DC1 but with DC2 it's been quite straightforward. We gave DC2 the same as we/DC1 were having - half in the blender and half on the highchair to mouth and chew.

they all gag and play and spit out in the beginning

but they don't, that's the point. In my NCT group we all met up for the first birthdays. My son was the only one out of 8 babies who couldn't cope eating cake (I mentioned him sucking on cake in my post above but that was later).

OP, some babies just can't cope with chewing as early as others. Mine was one of them, to the extent that I wondered if he would ever learn to chew! It was purees and things like chips and carrot cake (that he could sort of suck) for months!

Gagging and vomiting isn't choking, she's learning and will get better

Oh come on, you can't expect the OP to deal with vomit at every meal! Or a nursery or childminder! Babies can either do it or they can't. If they can't you wait until they get the hang of it.

I suspect that if my son had not gone to nursery and seen other children eating normally he'd still be having purees now

I hated BLW so we haven’t done it. Started with purées and gradually built up to more solid foods. Baby is now 8 months and eats anything I put in front of her, some purées, mashed foods, small pieces and some finger foods (very soft broccoli e.g). BLW is everywhere these days so you feel like it’s the right way to do it but the old fashioned way worked best for us! It’s also way less messy.

It’s not a parenting fad. It’s been around for decades. Works for some, not for others. But it’s not a fad.

Oh and theres a massivd variety in how ready kids are for food.

By 9 months DS would have polished off a bowl of macaroni pasta with bolognese sauce. He never gagged on any thing.

DD took much longer to actually eat properly, more gagging etc at first. She was simply less ready.

Shes barely past 6 months!

A lot of babies takes ages to get going properly with solids. Give her until at least 8 or 9 months and try some soft spoon foods too. Doesn't have to be purees, just things like yoghurt, softly cooked mince or shredded chicken, tuna.

Breast milk is really nutrient dense, in early weaning its important to give good sources of protein, fat etc and not just low calorie veg and fruit.

Some tips I learned when weening mine

1. Is she sitting properly ? If she’s still a bit iffy with sitting she might struggle eating solids and choke more. For me BLW only started to work properly at almost 8 months because my kid wasn’t sitting straight.

2. Are her legs supported? Dangling legs can be distracting for them (can you enjoy your meal while half sliding off a bar stool ?) and a proper, correctly adjusted high chair with a leg board worked best.

3. There are spoons made specifically for babies to use themselves. Ezpz makes some but I’ve seen cheaper dupes too.

4. Buy a silicone whiskey ice cube tray and freeze homemade purées. If your baby doesn’t like some, you can just add it to sauces and soups for flavour. If you don’t have any equipment then a hand blender is enough to make a purée (just add some boiled water).

5. For the first few months I ate at least one meal a day with my baby without using a fork - just ate with my hands and used a spoon for porridge etc. I think this made the biggest progress for us.

6. Only give a few things at a time so she doesn’t feel overwhelmed and start with single veg purées. If she doesn’t like something offer it again some days later. Their preferences change all the time. Just because she didn’t like it last week doesn’t mean she won’t love it this week.

I think if you and your baby both aren’t enjoying it then it’s just not for you and that’s fine! Maybe give both of you some
time off and then try again when she’s showing some interest? Food is meant to just be for fun in the first year so getting stressed is the exact opposite of what you want!

They don’t

they all gag and play and spit out in the beginning

your baby is 7 months. She’s not chewing with her gums because she hasn’t learned how yet. Granted some will get it faster than others, but your baby sounds no different to my baby.

BLW is about exploring tastes and textures. Learning how to chew, learning what to do when you have an obstruction in your mouth. It doesn’t mean they polish off a baby bowl of pasta at 8 months old.

puree just fills their tummies with low calorie fruit mush. They get all they need from milk. They don’t need to eat a proper meal. If they are breastfed then iron drops are recommended, but if they are on formula then that is a complete food.

my BLW baby who never had purées only started eating proper meals at 12 months, 6 months after we started weaning.

If it helps OP, I’m going to admit I was the “heavily reliant on shop-bought purée” mum that everyone on MN looks down on so much - at 7 months she’d eat maybe a couple of teaspoons of something super smooth, and now at 14 months she devours whatever you give her like a wood chipper.

I did BLW for breakfast and lunch, and a puree and finger food at dinner time. Started actually eating at 10 months. Felt like a waste of time until then but v quickly got into it at 10 months and by then my confidence had improved loads and I'd tried all the allergens with him so it worked well in the end. Started around 7 months

I hated baby weaning. Was always terrified of choking. So I used to chop things really small so they couldn’t obstruct the airway even if swallowed whole. Also ‘food is for fun before one.’ Mantra is a good one to remember. It doesn’t matter if any actually gets into her stomach it’s just getting her used to hand to mouth and gumming on the food.

But yeah… it’s a not fun, long process imo. But I am the type that will be cutting my 16 year olds grapes so maybe I’m not the best example.