To not let my daughter have TikTok

My dd is year 8 and is not allowed Snapchat, Instagram or TikTok. I will keep her away from these as long as I can. A lot of her friends don’t have these either.

My oldest is 7 and is already asking for a phone. We have made it abundantly clear already that when all her friends start getting smart phones she won't be having one.we will probably allow her a phone which is bog standard texting and phoning when she hits teens but nothing she can Access social media on independently. Both myself and husband are not anything like Facebook, Instagram etc and we don't share anything of the kids online pics etc and we are trying to drum into them already the importance of keeping things private and that the Internet is great but also a place where you have to be very very careful. I'm hoping we can stand our ground when they hit teenage years as I know-it must be difficult when they start feeling left out but I think taking a step back and understanding why you do want to allow access or not is important is her online safety/risk to mental health prpblems from accessing these things at a young age less important than them fitting in? I wish more parents would just take a stand against this so that others weren't put in this predicament but to each their own I know some people love social media and find it a fun and fulfilling place but personally I just dont get it.

Won't allow my almost 12 year old daughter to have tiktok. Thankfully she's aware of how bad it is and says she doesn't want it. Definitely feels like anything goes on there. Some of her school friends were on it from around age 9 and witnessed the video of the man committing suicide a couple of years ago,that did the rounds,yet they still use it. Clearly the parents aren't bothered which is pretty disgusting.

I think it probably varies school to school/area to area. My nephew definitely used WhatsApp to communicate with his friends. Amongst young people in our area, WhatsApp is mostly used by young people to communicate with their parents and sometimes employers - never with other kids!

Absolutely agree MrsBennett same. Getting het up about certain apps and not others seems an erratic way of parenting. They are always one step ahead anyway. What’s your view on Be Real? That’s what they are all on now btw.

Hold off all of it as long as you can but have open sensible relationship with them so they are decent smart questioning people and don’t get sucked in by nonsense rather than panicking about certain random apps and seeing only those ones as the root of all evil.

Not all teens communicate through Snapchat of TikTok.
I know loads of teens and they communicate mainly on WhatsApp.

Ultimately, I think a lot comes down to the relationship that you have with your dc, how much you trust them, how much they trust you.

I knew my dd was very mature and sensible, most of her friends were sensible too. We had a very open and honest relationship and we maintained an ongoing dialogue through the teen years. She trusted that I would not be controlling for the sake of it, and that if I said no to something, it was probably for good reason. We discussed and debated boundaries, negotiated what was reasonable and what was not. Sometimes she convinced me, sometimes she didn't. We came through those years without any negative consequences - she does use social media but she isn't obsessed with it and never has been.... she is too busy living life to have time for a phone addiction.

Some kids will be capable of navigating these things sensibly and responsibly with the right guidance and support. Others will need more parental intervention. Parents should respond to the needs of their own children.

Actually, I think the attitude of banning social media can do more harm than good why not Give them it and arm them with the knowledge to counteract some of the bad stuff on there.

I worked with an apprentice whose parents have banned social media completely and a mobile phone device and it was actually really telling because she didn't have a world view on anything and she was very quick to just believe what people around her said. I think social media is a critical thing to help you shape your views with the knowledge of books and your parents help. Her digital skills were also really behind in comparison to her peers. Unfortunately, whether we like it or not that generation social media will be allowed about the job they do. Why not let them have it but put safeguards in place.

I don't allow Tiktok for 17 year old with SN. They often seem to have stupid crazes on there and sometimes DC die.

Ours are nearly 15.

No TikTok, no Snapchat, no Insta.
Amd currently no phone addiction and no safeguarding issues at school because of their phones, unlike many of their peers who have all these things.

We watched the Social Dilemma with the DCs before they got their phones. They are happy not to have those apps.

Omg people, learn to read the post properly.

Oops my bad, sorry op

My dd12 got Snapchat at the start of the year after begging for it. It is how all her friends communicate. None of them use WhatsApp/ Facebook or instagram so don't have access to those private messenger functions.

Different apps have different levels of security, privacy and parental controls.

There's a lot of overlap in content between tik tok and youtube (shorts) but youtube has better reporting and filtering content. People are less likely to be exposed to dodgy content through youtube and there is a better chance of dodgy content being removed. There are also concerns about data and information harvesting on tik tok and the CCP's ability to exploit that.

Snapchat lulls people into a false sense of security because the posts "disappear", except content can be captured on screenshots. If bullying takes place, the trail fades quickly. People can behave badly via whatsapp too, but it takes more effort to cover up and people are more aware that it's semi-public.

I try to hold back as long as is viable on such issues, but there can come a point where it results in social isolation in RL which is also a negative that has to be balanced. Compromising on allowing some apps with better controls than others can help manage avoiding or delaying apps you don't want them on. Talking to them about boundaries is vital, and why those boundaries are in place. Also talking to them about what to do when things go wrong, and if they see content that upsets them.

Unfortunately I can't time travel my kids back to 1995 and raise them there, and I have to do my best at blundering through a fast-paced world with them.

A previous poster pointed out that if the child already has access to Instagram and to YouTube, Instagram reels and YouTube shorts are the exact same thing as TikTok with the same cross-posted content on all platforms. If the DD has access to either of those things, they effectively already HAVE TikTok - so you either have to ban it all, or decide how you're going to handle access to that material.

My eldest is year 8 and only has access to YouTube out of all of those, but the content is the same as TikTok and you're never more than a few videos away from objectionable content with only very limited parental control.

Tik Tok, where all content is property of the company, aka the Chinese government including the right to "view" al other content on your device whether Tik Tok or not. The Chinese government is using "private companies to make huge databases just like the genetic testing services like 23 and me for future use. I don't get why ANYONE uses the service never mind kids. 🤔

I think you look a bit daft that you don’t understand the differences between them and how some pose more dangers than others

I didn't let DS have it at that age. He moaned about it but tough. He's 16 now so he can do what he likes but I stuck to my guns in year 7.

Ask teens what they think is a big cause of the mental health crisis in young people.

Those dances look absolutely ridiculous anyway.

Just seems irrational to “ban” one app but not the others. Makes you look abit daft.

I don’t get the outrage about particular apps they are all quite similar? Surely you either allow SM or you don’t?

We managed to hold off all SM until year 8 but the tears / pleading / being left out made us cave.

Mine have had tik tok, Snapchat, WhatsApp etc for ages.
They've come to no harm.
I can't imagine telling my 14 and 10 years old that they can't have it.
It's laughable to be banning tik tok etc at 16.

Adult brains are pretty defenceless too. Look at how many got sucked into that conspiracy theory about kids being sold in items of furniture.