Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist DH drives us?

111 replies

Woozywoozer · 05/02/2024 14:14

DH drives. I don't (medical reasons)

DD has an appointment at 4pm every Monday for the next 12 weeks.

The appointment is in Manchester city centre.

We live close to a tram station so last week he dropped us off there on the way to him getting DS.

It's the same time local high school gets out, 2 of them I fact, and it was absolutely RAMMED.
With teens shouting, fighting, pushing, swearing.

DD is Autistic (shes going to art therapy) and hated it.

DH can pick DS up with us in car then take us to town by 4pm but it would mean him stuck in traffic a bit and driving in Manchester town which he hates (he's only been driving a year)

But we would happily get the tram home later. I just really don't want to get it at school time as it's really distressing for DD (and me, I'm autistic too) to have all the kids screaming. Last week some kid was making comments about DDs stickers on her headphones. But she didn't hear.

DH doesn't work on a Monday. Has no other commitments and it's me that's taking DD every week and sat for 90 mins in a waiting room then getting tram home.

AIBU to tell him I really want him to drop us off?

There's no other appointment slots available and she's been waiting 2 years for this.

OP posts:
rwalker · 05/02/2024 14:52

Is there anywhere else nearer he could drop you then you get public transport in via another route avoiding schools or a taxi in from there

driving through Manchester City centre is no easy task for an Inexperienced driver it’s horrendous
there so much to navigate bus lanes , red routes where if your unsure you can’t stop
miss getting in the wrong lane no one will let you across. Next thing your in a filter lane heading for the m60 or the dreaded Mancunian way it’s very confusing no easy task at all
at peak times like that parts of it can be comparable with central London

I’ve driven years and had to go from Piccadilly to Blackfriars’s the other month I struggled and would say I’m an experienced driver

I think you have to be familiar with the rd and the traffic before you can write him of as a twat that some posters have

also he’s never been on the one way system before VERY easy to get lost and miss your appointment

Original poster
Woozywoozer · 05/02/2024 14:52

InAnotherLifetimeMaybe · 05/02/2024 14:49

What are his reasons for not doing that?

The traffic. An hour plus in car vs 15 mins on tram. Plus all the one way systems in town that he's not navigated before. He doesn't really like driving at the best of times.

OP posts:
InAnotherLifetimeMaybe · 05/02/2024 14:49

What are his reasons for not doing that?

Original poster
Woozywoozer · 05/02/2024 14:49

I can't get an earlier tram as we get the first one after she finishes school (they let her finish 15 mins early whilst therapy is on which is nice of them considering the therapy starts at 4pm, way out of school time)

OP posts:
hedgehoglurker · 05/02/2024 14:40

Can you get a slightly earlier tram? Or he takes DD, as he and DS would seemingly be sitting in traffic for the majority of the appointment time anyway.

I think a compromise or alternative should be sought, as your proposal still inconveniences half of the family.

XmasCrumble · 05/02/2024 14:23

I'm on the fence, driving in Manchester at that time is really horrible not least for an inexperienced driver (and presumably your DS would also be stuck in traffic for at least an hour with him).

Could you swap as in your DH takes your DD on the tram?

Alternatively, an earlier tram might be better, get into town a bit earlier so your DD is calm for her session?

nightnightcircus · 05/02/2024 14:21

Not unreasonable. My DH would do this without being asked! Why are you worried about asking?

SecondUsername4me · 05/02/2024 14:21

DH doesn't work on a Monday. Has no other commitments and it's me that's taking DD every week and sat for 90 mins in a waiting room then getting tram home

First and foremost, you taking her every week needs to stop. Take turns. On his weeks he can drop you at ds school, you do his pick up then get yourself back home together while he does the appointment with dd. Then on the weeks you do it, get him to drop you at a different tram stop away from the schools, or even at the hospital, after collecting ds then he takes ds home and you and dd make your own way home after the appointment.

Are you able to learn to drive yourself?

squashedtruck · 05/02/2024 14:21

He can take DD and you find a way to pick your other child up from school. Problem solved. He's being unreasonable

Aquamarine1029 · 05/02/2024 14:20

Not unreasonable at all. Tell your husband firmly that you absolutely need his support for this. Otherwise, he can take your daughter himself on the tram and deal with it.

PurpleBugz · 05/02/2024 14:17

Not unreasonable at all.

I'm autistic myself and so are my kids. After a busy ride on public transport no way is my child engaging in art therapy

Swipe left for the next trending thread