Children on Ipads in restaurants

@happyfishcoco what does kinda mean, where did you get that word from? I don't really understand it, from someone so exacting of grammar?

What did you actually mean?

@canonlydoblue what do you mean by "obviously ND"? If you saw my son sitting in a restaurant watching a video and happily eating his meal, as he does, I assure you you would not be able to tell that he is autistic unless you came over and interacted with us. How can you tell who to hate and who not?

You may get me wrong, but I am not judging people using iPads for parenting.
I am annoyed people suggest this is the only way to keep children behaving themselves. and this is wrong, others pp also have mentioned it

It's the only way to keep certain children still and undistracted by the exciting environment they're in so they finish their meal. Perhaps in your time, those children would have been dragged home, given a beating and put to bed with no tea... So it's likely you just didn't see them out, because they were busy being punished at home for not 'behaving'. Just a theory.

@happyfishcoco would you say

May I ask

Instead of

Can I ask

Because you didn't have screen time?

at least, if I want to know your age, I will say
"May I ask..." rather than

"An I ask....

How old are you?"

You may get me wrong, but I am not judging people using iPads for parenting.
I am annoyed people suggest this is the only way to keep children behaving themselves. and this is wrong, others pp also have mentioned it

@theDudesmummy

Blimey, that escalated! I've just had a quick look back through the thread to your comments about your child and I'm not talking about children who are obviously ND. I'm talking about the babies with the phones dangled into their pushchairs, the toddlers who have a screen plonked in front of them the minute they sit down, and the older ones who can't possibility engage in the world around them.

Maybe lget on with enjoying your own meal with your perfect kids instead of weirdly staring at other people? Get a life!

@happyfishcoco I can tell you exactly how my son would have lived his life before smartphones and tablets were invented. Maybe read my posts for further information?

Do you think it's made you a better person?

@canonlydoblue live just one day of my life and then come back and tell me I am lazy, why don't you? Or maybe just read my posts and some of the others like @JennyBeanR's

An I ask....

How old are you?

I am shocked about the result of the vote.

and how people think nowadays.

some are kinda saying "I am doing it for you, give iPad to my kids so that they can keep quiet, try not to annoy you" 😂

I wonder how those people lived before the smartphone was invented.

at least when I grew up, children had no screen time but still were not running and screaming in the restaurant.

Lazy

Bad parenting

Hate

🙄

@canonlydoblue Oh FFS. "Hate" again? Really? Have you read none of this thread? I thought we had moved past the "hate" speech at the very least. It is seriously offensive. Judge my choices if you really must (but seriously fuck you for doing so), but hating me? Are you sure you want to say that (or to feel that, it sounds an exhausting reaction to something that has no effect on you whatsoever and is life changing for some families).

I do have family members who's children grew up infront of screens meal times and after that. And it worked for them as they love to consume media. And they are generally nice kids but I did notice attention span is shorter and everything conversationally revolves around Characters and show and singing. Nothing outside of that. So very 2D.

I've not had this experience with children who have screen access, at all. Sounds like a different problem to me...

Its lazy parenting. Its bad for the children. I hate seeing it.

I would add if my toddler was not content at meals out of the home I just would avoid taking them out it is that simple for me.

What a shame you would restrict your toddler to being inside your home 24/7 just to avoid using a screen for 15 minutes so you could all satisate your hunger properly in-between wholesome, enriching child friendly activities out in the world 😥 I'd never stifle my child like that.

I've read a lot of the studies. I am not convinced. It is incredibly difficult to actually prove the 'science' behind these theories, because children and their parents cannot be observed in a research facility for their entire childhoods. There are too many other factors and variables which effect development.

It is a cultural thing. It's really not biologically necessary to talk with your mouth full at the dinner table. Nice for some, not for others.

I prefer talking to my kid whilst we play. It's much more insightful and interesting, and I'd rather not distract him from his food at meal time.

The point I was making was that your approach makes no difference.

I guess subjective. I have fond memories and lots of funny moments sat at the dinner table with my family loved it. Snd we are all super close. Especially when all the family was over. I miss those days. In may cukture food and family is a big thing and talking over meals is a big thing it is a social affair.

I think when it comes to child development I like to look at the science as opposed to antedotal and baised parents opinions. The science is very clear on screen time and neurological development.

My toddler is also very polite at 2 he says thank you for cooking Mama, he has very good manners for his age.
But it is not a competion now.

Just personally for me this is what I believe is best for my child my family and the science backs it. And what others want to do well it's their kids. I just think it is a shame. Thats all I said.

I do have family members who's children grew up infront of screens meal times and after that. And it worked for them as they love to consume media. And they are generally nice kids but I did notice attention span is shorter and everything conversationally revolves around Characters and show and singing. Nothing outside of that. So very 2D.

But for us we like to socialise as a family and take every opportunity to do so. Time away from each we do our own things. Reading, hobbies etc etc. Just how my family works and makes us happy.

I would add if my toddler was not content at meals out of the home I just would avoid taking them out it is that simple for me. Just like if they misbehaved in any public spaces such as hurting other children I would remove them and not go back until I felt they could be in those places and behave.

Oh yes! Sticker books 😃 what a great idea! Goodness. Why didnt i think of that?

Oh wait, i did. A few years ago he just ate the stickers. Then he stuck them all over the furniture (that goes down well in a nice restaurant!). Now he couldn't give a fuck about them because he is a nearly 15-year-old boy. Do your teenage boys keep themselves busy with "sticker books" or do they like YouTube and Insta and video games and WhatsApping their friends? Thought so...

I grew up in the 90s, too. I hated sitting round the table, sat in close proximity and face to face with other people as they ate. Trying to talk with mouthfuls of food seems ridiculous, or trying to chat while the food went cold... It's a shit time to start a conversation up. Mealtimes is about eating the food, first and foremost.

You can talk to your children and family members at literally any other time of the day, there are so many better opportunities than when your mouth is literally full.

I also don't want my toddler doing activities with his hands at the table, I want him using his utensils to eat his food whilst it's warm and I want him to stay in his chair for the duration and keep the mess in once place.

I tried everything to 'teach' him this for 6 months, but nothing worked and I caved when he was around 1. It was immediately effective and a huge relief. I still use a screen at almost all mealtimes, but my kid can also go long car journeys, enjoying looking out of the window and playing with his toys without a winge. He also can play little make believe games on his own at home, he loves interacting with others when we're out, he makes friends very easily and says please, thankyou and sorry appropriately on a consistent enough basis that his manners are complimented regularly. He's physically and emotionally very robust.

He's mint. Watching Disney+ at meals hasn't changed him into some anti social, rude zombie child, like everyone seems to be so concerned about 😂

Meals out are generally meant to be a relaxing break for everyone - parents, children, and the other diners around them. Why do you think it's your place to judge how other people achieve that? If your dining companions aren't holding your interest, try a book or (gasp!) getting out your own phone and leave other people to enjoy themselves.

@JennyBeanR and @Gloaminggnome ❤

This!
Also love the comments about using sticker books
My girl doesn't have the dexterity to use stickers and struggles to hold a pen. She'll go through a board book, but only for a few minutes...she is capable however of completing puzzles on her tablet. She's also started imitating actions she's seen in some Peppa pig videos. This is huge for her and I've been in tears watching her progress. Technology is something that may enable my daughter to be able to communicate and perhaps even live independently one day. So honestly, to all you sneering people who want to think ill of us for the crime of eating in a restaurant with a child using a device, just fuck off. I'm done with justifying myself to you.

@lolabear1243 ODFOD

Because we're human and it's not immediately obvious to people that my daughter has special needs. Because it's hard work and the last thing we need are busy bodies sneering at us when we're enjoying a meal out. Because maybe it's shitty attitudes like the ones displayed in this thread that makes parents of Sen children that much more scared of how the world will treat them. For god's sake, read some of the replies in this thread and put into context what these people are complaining about. It's shameful.