Children on Ipads in restaurants

I 100% agree with you op. Lazy "parenting". But loads will tell you off for saying so. And me most likely for agreeing with you. Screens shouldnt be used as babysitters.

Torn on this TBH - I don't personally like to let my child use screens during mealtimes (out of the house or at home). At home they get one meal a week they are allowed to eat in front of the TV. When we eat out I don't generally allow it at all. Occasionally will let them look at my phone with me - Googling pictures of animals or something together to keep them entertained if they're struggling to be chill/food taking a particularly long time, etc.
But equally I can see why parents do it. Eating out with small children can be awful as often as it can be lovely. The struggle is real!

But personally don't agree with using screens ALL the time at every meal. But then I also think what other people do with their children is not really any of my business!

@Somersetlady you've just quoted and replied to yourself with "this exactly" 😉🤣

I went on package holidays with my family in a pretty similar way to described in the OP - it was the 90s, that wasn't hugely unusual. And that involved eating every meal out and (obviously) doing it without screens. We eat out quite a lot with my children (3 and 5) now and we just don't have devices at the table, they know that.

The iPad is for me. It buys me a bit of grown up time.

It’s for you too. I assume you want adult time too, you e paid for your meal and you want to enjoy it without my kid making noise, or me making noise at my kid.

My child is generally well behaved, but he’s 3. Meals are boring. We’ve got toys, cars, stickers, colouring, playing cards etc in the bag too. Usually he’s watching something like Blaze or Super Wings (building STEM, learning about other countries) or playing Kidloland. We interact with him and use it together. He’s starting to read too, we’ve got some great phonics games. But sometimes he’s just having a good old chill with a film/tv show, or watching someone on YouTube play with toys he actually owns. He’s learned some Spanish from kids YouTube too, which will be nice for him when we go there in a few months.

Before I was a mum there were 3 things I was really sure about:

1. No screen time.
2. No kids in the pub/restaurant
3. No kids in the bed

Oh how I look back now and laugh at my naivety.

I guarantee My kid without an iPad would annoy you a lot more!

You’re seeing a small part of their life, you’ve no idea whether this is a regular occurrence. Beak out beaky!

How many more of these sneery threads do we need?
There's been dozens
You do you hun

Hmmm, I feel like parents in restaurants can't win. Either they're criticised for their kids being 'loud' and moving around the restaurant or they're criticised for being quiet and on iPads.

We're not in an Edwardian aristocratic family home, children aren'y going to sit obediently and talk with their parents about how much they're enjoyed Mr Conan Doyle's latest story. They're kids, they're going to make noise unless you distract them with a device.

I think some of it comes down to English class snobbery. Go to a family-friendly society like in Itlay or Greece and the kids will be wlaking round, playing, the families will be getting up and greeting ech other etc. It's only a small sub-section of British society that seems to want to police exactly how children behave in public.

That said, we don't use screens at the table either but I can think of many reasons why people might

There won't be time for anything anyway if you're shovelling a meal down in 10 minutes. At least the toddlers aren't missing school like yours

@Humdingerydoo exactly we don’t use screens any more but the dc colour, sometimes they read. I’m not constantly interacting with them but I don’t feel the need too.

I completely agree with you OP and if that makes me judgmental I couldn't give a fig. We have a strict no screens at the table rule which occasionally gets slightly relaxed eg at family lunch yesterday DD and BIL played a game together on his phone after they had finished eating. Using screens at the table on a consistent basis is not teaching children anything about learning to interact socially. I visit nurseries regularly as part of my job, and I have yet to walk into one during lunchtime where the children are glued to screens 🤷🏻‍♀️ Instead, the adults are sitting with them interacting with them. Yes there will be instances where having a screen as a back-up plan when things get a bit challenging is a lifesaver - I would say there are very few parents out there that haven't resorted to this, I know we certainly have! But I think what the OP is referencing is the habitual use of screens - no it's not just a snapshot, it is definitely happening... ask any optician how they predict children's eye health is going these days due to excessive screen use... it is become a very real problem.

@MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned it was very unusual when I was a dc to go out to eat with your family regularly. As I said I still learned how to behave. Was it common for you?

Is it just iPads that are an issue? My 6yo sometimes brings a book along, I mean that’s still not necessarily interacting with us the whole time. Though she does always order her own food when the waiter comes.

A normal standard of behaviour shouldn't be 'performing' though

Do you allow them to behave feral at home then?

I do sort of agree with you, there are an awful lot of kids on tablets etc when out and about and I do sometimes feel a bit weird about it, that this is what the world is now. I personally don't take any screens with us for the kids to use during a meal and prefer to get them to draw or colour in instead, or sometimes bring cards or a toy for them to play, but what's the difference really? I'm still not interacting with my children as much as I should. I'm still giving them something else to do so I can have some peace and quiet. I'm not sure I can be classed as a better parent just because my kids are doing the more socially acceptable thing of colouring in instead of watching Bluey!

You've taken your kids out of school?

As an 80s dc it wasn’t the norm for me to go out for tea, brunch, lunch etc regularly with my parents but I still know how to behave in a restaurant

What are you eating that it takes only 30mins or so? Meals out usually take a couple of hours. We don’t currently use a screen as our child is only 2.5, but I don’t think it’s shockingly bad as long as they have headphones.

We are on holiday at the moment and haven’t seen any children on screens at lunch.

Unless you are following these families around, how do you know if this is the norm, or a holiday treat. They may be relaxing after a busy morning of horse riding, tennis, swimming, reading War ans Peace!

The parents do it to give something for people to discuss on MN

Just enjoy your holiday and stop staring judgementally at other families (as I imagine that's what you're doing as you are monitoring them 'from start to finish'g. That's if you actually are on holiday with your own kids age 6 and 9, who should be in school right now (unless you have a different half term).

Perhaps you're just the perfect parent and we're all rubbish parents