Children on Ipads in restaurants

YANBU OP. I never judge an individual family - a good friend's DS could only cope with eating out if he had an iPad because of his ASD. The iPad allowed him to access extended family occasions and wasn't that wonderful.

Completely agree in general though. Ours are 5 and 3, we brought iPads on holidays last year but only for the plane. They sat through every meal with quiet toys and occasionally not even that. If one of them gets antsy one of us will bring them for a walk.

We would definitely have a more relaxing time if they had screens but it's important to us that they learn how to behave in restaurants. No TV during meals at home either except weekend breakfast and maybe the odd weekend that we're watching a match or something. Or ATM, we'll all watch Gladiators together.

I think the key is just to never start.

OP, why have you quoted yourself to agree with yourself? If you’re going to sock yourself, at least be better at it.

Oops!

Is the OP actually on holiday? If so why are you socking yourself, there must be something better to do?! I should be putting on a wash & doing yoga but…

Have you seen the film Wall-E? It's basically a prediction of our future 😆

😂

What on earth did older parents do? Take colouring, card games or get a babysitter, that's what. The latter is what my parents did, the former what I did. When I was young and at Pontins the kids sat together in a SEPARATE ROOM and away from the adults when eating!!

On balance I think it's wonderful that young kids are with their adults, but they should be involved IMO - like games or drawing and not on screens.

@MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned

My point was many adults know how to conduct themselves in a restaurant (not all) despite it being unusual to go to them when younger so clearly it’s just not about exposure?
Is your point that because a dc watches a screen they won’t be able to know how to behave in a restaurant when older? Does this apply to toys, colouring, stickers?

OP, why have you quoted yourself to agree with yourself? If you’re going to sock yourself, at least be better at it. 🤣

There's a saying in America-
Mind Your Business.
Fitting here I think?

Some might be ASD?

Massively judgemental op here. Do you even have kids? Parents rarely get to go out, putting the kids on iPads whilst waiting for food keeps them quiet, it prevents disturbing other guests, and it's quite rare. We're not talking daily.
You need to stop judging others and ask yourself why you think you're so high and mighty that you can judge when you've no idea if people's circumstances. It might be the only meal the parents get out.

You're the issue here mate. Have a word with yourself.

There’s this thing called good parenting where you don’t allow them to run amok! Engage with them, bring little toys or books to distract them with. We managed this successfully with our babies/toddlers/small children in restaurants in recent years. It takes a little more effort than an iPad but it’s perfectly possible to have a child with you in a restaurant who is not on an iPad and not disturbing other diners either.

It is ridiculous. It’s just not necessary at all.

And then these same parents whinge their kids won’t behave in public/have no attention span/can’t take them out for a meal at 5/6/7.

It’s lazy parenting.

This.

I don't really understand your point - if eating out is so much more common then surely it's even more important that children learn how to actually socialise and interact during it?

@Gobolina no they're not feral children, they are domesticated. It's only on rare occasions they throw their pop at people and only ever people who deserve it. And I don't use screens at every meal on holidays.

But on the days they're pissed off at having to wait for their breakfast until everyone else is dressed or the dining room is open, or when they'd rather stay in the pool, or when they haven't napped and are wiped I'll absolutely give them a screen and not ask them to perform and to pretend they're adults and can regulate their emotions enough to sit through a meal in a restaurant.

If they're none of those things sometimes they get a colouring book and that way when we ignore our children and they ignore servers we don't get anyone thinking the alternate is feral children because colouring books are morally superior to screens.

However, I am impressed at how many people's toddlers can apparently colour, do sticker books, etc without adult input. We take those sorts of things but it very much means we still interact with them! Which is why people love screens- nothing else zombifies them like that.

I 100% agree with you but countless come along and accuse of judging. We notice exactly the same thing when we go on holiday - children in pushchairs taken into the restaurant with screen already on and remaining on for the duration of the meal and whilst they get back into their pushchair. When DC1 was under 1, I always used to say to my ILs not to judge because our children had not reached that age but now they have (we are well past the pushchair age), I can safely say there is categorically no need for a NT child to need a screen in front of their face to eat their meal.

It leads onto the next thing we see on holidays and when out - a group of older children all sitting around a table glued to their respective screens rather than any sort of conversation with each other.

I despair for future social interaction.

@MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned Im an 80s child & a Londoner. There is no way you can compare todays plethora of coffee shops, family restaurant chains etc now vs back then. Like I said it wasn’t the norm to go for brunch even without the dc, now it’s a completely regular occurrence. I would argue everyone including dc eats out far more these days.

I can’t comment on package holidays as my parents would find those worse than screens! 😆

I also disagree that for a lot of these people it’s just a “one-off” so they can enjoy their holiday. In my experience these parents whip the iPad out at every opportunity so that they don’t have to parents their kids.

One of the reasons we don't have screens at meals, ever, is because I've seen from friends how it goes if you usually let you child have one and then don't - or, god forbid, the battery runs out. It's so much easier to just not.

Meh, restaurants are boring for kids. Especially when it’s 3 meals a day for a week or 2 like on holiday. Ipads in restaurants are not something I do unless it’s a big family thing and we’ve been there over 2 hours and they’ve got through 3 courses but the group is still lingering… but honestly I couldn’t care less how anyone else entertains their kids so long as I can’t hear it (headphones or v low volume are a must). We always take sticker books, colouring etc but I’m really not convinced that makes me a superior parent as I’m still not really interacting with them!

I'm actually quite horrified by the 44% of people that think you are being unreasonable!

If a child cannot behave at a meal table in a restaurant, then either teach them to behave or don't take them out for a meal - get a babysitter!

My 3 kids have been taught to sit and behave at the meal table, to talk about things, and if they get bored then a pen and paper to draw something in the restaurant. Some restaurants even have colouring in.

It's just lazy parenting to sit your child on a screen at a meal table.

(And yes, before someone starts the "my child is autistic" speech, autism was around for a long time before screens. My autistic child manages just fine in a restaurant as long as I keep him occupied and talk to him. I won't be taking him to a fine dine restaurant though!)

Never done it
Mine are now 12 and 7
They always managed with toys or colouring or we just chat
Weve always taken them out without issue probably bevause they're used to it.

Of course there are some who require tech in those circumstances but the majority don't and the "its a snapshot" argument is just rubbish excuses

But I think what the OP is referencing is the habitual use of screens - no it's not just a snapshot, it is definitely happening... ask any optician how they predict children's eye health is going these days due to excessive screen use... it is become a very real problem.

But how do you know what is habitual or which families are like you who have a strict no screen rule relaxed it? Surely it’s not just ipads at lunch impacting future dc’s eyes it’s TVs, bigger & sharper, it’s screens at school, it’s screens at work?

I completely agree OP. It’s lazy and very bad for the kids. Kids need to learn to have conversations, how to speak to waiting staff, how to eat mindfully rather than grazing whilst distracted.

There are so many people on here claiming that the alternative is noisy kids running amok. I’m not sure why the alternative isn’t kids sitting nicely and engaging in their surroundings.

I also disagree that for a lot of these people it’s just a “one-off” so they can enjoy their holiday. In my experience these parents whip the iPad out at every opportunity so that they don’t have to parents their kids.