Children on Ipads in restaurants

The last time I was on holiday, I saw the dad and 2 young kids on screens at breakfast every morning and the mum doing all the grunt work, parents need to be a good role models and get off their screens

ND aside, I do think conversation is a skill and it has to be learned through practice. It takes effort.

But my DH felt the same so its always been a united front of dinner at the table, no screens at meals & we both participate in the conversation.

If one be parent is trying to encourage conversation while the other doom scrolls in front of the kids, it's much, much harder & can see the other parent giving up.

@Somersetlady youre absolutely right to be concerned but as you can see you’re in a minority. There are of course lots of other ways to keep kids entertained - but plug ‘em in and keep ‘em quiet is the order of the day. It’s very sad.

So what do all you tech heads think parenrts if young kids did before screens? You don't need screens to entertain young children

Generally my position with these things is if something doesn't impact me then I'm not bothered. So if the tablet is on silent or headphones are being used then crack on.

However, it is undeniable that there has been a massive shift in how people parent. Small children are expected to fit into an adult centric experience now, whereas 20-30yrs ago, dining out wasn't something done all that frequently for the majority. Granted, I understand there's no real avoiding it when on holiday, it's just a general observation. I see a lot of parents dining or drinking together pretty much to the complete exclusion of their children who are expected to behave responsibly whilst enduring what must be incredible boredom for them.

And because there's little interaction, these children aren't actually learning how to behave properly, and aren't developing the requisite social skills to carry them through such situations later in life. I don't blame the children at all, I blame parents who don't prioritise the childrens needs.

As for screen use amongst adults, it's incredibly rude and quite sad. If you're out with your partner, friends or family I'd expect you would want to enjoy their company, and I don't see why a phone should factor into that. But people are largely addicted to smartphones, so just leaving them alone is really difficult as social media has trained people to think they need to know exactly what's going on all of the time.

And mindless eating, whether looking at a tablet or a TV, is proven to be a huge factor in overeating and subsequent obesity rates. It isn't a healthy way to eat and I really don't think any parent should encourage these behaviours.

Do you children find you so boring that it is too much to sit through a meal in your company?

Again there is nuance. I eat dinner with my dc everyday, sometimes the conversation is a little dry…

Chromebooks at school are an entirely different matter

I've seen this subject quite a few times on here. Replies are split between those who allow their children to sit on screens and those who don't and never the twain shall meet. I don't like seeing it and I feel sorry for children who spend a whole meal watching a screen with no one talking to them.

The difference between colouring in and watching an iPad is that you can still interact with others at the table whilst colouring whereas when watching something on the iPad kids (and adults) become totally absorbed and zone out everything else. They’re also happy to stop the colouring when the meal arrives rather than either melt down that they have to stop watching to eat, or continuing to watch while they eat, which is teaching damaging habits.

Surely this depends on what they are watching or doing eg an app?
And my dd would give up the ipad far more easily then colouring pens.

Tbh I think I stressed about screen time to much as when they got to primary they had chromebook’s.

This. I give mine an ipad sometimes on the rare occasions we eat out as its unfair to expect a toddler to sit for ages without running around and annoying everyone. He doesn't get screens at the table at home, ever. So it's definitely not 'shockingly bad' for him to do this once every 6 weeks or so

Like others have said this is a snapshot of their day! Maybe the parents want a few minutes of peace and conversation without choking down their meals? I give my dc a tablet when we go out because otherwise they’d be climbing under the table, turning round, wanting to get up and explore - that would be way more disruptive to everyone, so instead they can play a few games on their tablet! When we leave it goes away. Everyone’s a winner.

It's not either/or as so many people claim, ie- either digital tranquillisers or they run amok, there are other ways to keep kids occupied

I think there's a big difference between only encountering restaurants as an adult and actively being taught from toddlerhood that it's a place that you stare at a screen with no interaction at others. You seem to think at some point they'll just snap out of it and start having nice conversations at the table - that's not what I see around me, I see people just finding it harder and harder to get their kids off the devices as they get older.

I'm not as worried about the future of nice meals out as I am about raising a generation who can't cope with being a bit bored.

OP has realised her error 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The difference between colouring in and watching an iPad is that you can still interact with others at the table whilst colouring whereas when watching something on the iPad kids (and adults) become totally absorbed and zone out everything else. They’re also happy to stop the colouring when the meal arrives rather than either melt down that they have to stop watching to eat, or continuing to watch while they eat, which is teaching damaging habits.

There is always something to point the finger at if you're looking but there's probably four pointing back you too.

@NUtowanttosleep very true!

No TV during meals at home either except weekend breakfast and maybe the odd weekend that we're watching a match or something. Or ATM, we'll all watch Gladiators together

See it wouldn’t cross my mind to have tv on when eating breakfast or dinner at home. I don’t have a TV near the kitchen table for one. Mine don’t need screens any more but we used them occasionally when toddlers because sometimes one of us just didn’t want to go for a walk & return to cold food!

I have a 2 year old and we don't give him the iPad but I don't judge others who do.

As PP's say, you don't know the full situation. Some children are only given iPads in restaurants (which could be less than once a week) or just in the car and may be a good way to keep the kids quiet and everyone happy. Would you be complaining they were too noisy and the parents weren't doing enough to keep them quiet if they didn't have iPads?

I also don't see how you can say it's a sorry state of affairs for the kids because again they may have sit down at the table meals with their parents and no decides every other day of the week. Some children are overwhelmed by new environments so something familiar can be good for them.

I think people forget we can all be judged. I don't give my child an iPad but my child may have more sugar than others or not be as strict with diet or bedtime. There is always something to point the finger at if you're looking but there's probably four pointing back you too.

We were in Greece last summer and noticed this, but interestingly a lot more from the British families, there were lots of German and Dutch families at the same resort and there were no devices at the tables adults and children.
We don't let DS watch our phones at all and no-one of us have a tablet. If it's going to be a long meal he does take some colouring but he's generally happier talking to people and we go on holiday to spend time together not to get a break from him