Children on Ipads in restaurants

What is "it" exactly?

To dismiss all 'screens' as the devil is too simplistic. A screen is just a medium, like paper. What is delivered via that medium can vary wildly, as can people's reactions to it.

Being against screens in general is like banning most books. It's just clumsy and reactionary.

Weirdly, when the printing presses brought literacy to the masses there was a concern that people would lose their ability to retain epic historical spoken-word stories. To be fair, they were right, we don't have that ability any more. Does that mean literacy is a bad thing? Depends who you ask I suppose. In the same way, is a reduced attention span and a preference for high-level summaries of MANY different subjects a bad thing? I don't know, none of us do. All we can really say is that it's different to what we are familiar with, but that's not bad by default.

I hate it too op. It's the parents not engaging with their children that gets me. I've brought up children, they hadn't invented smartphones then so it was colouring books and conversation

I've got a controversial opinion on this (at least in our circle) the parents that have strong opposing views on kids using tablets tend to be the same ones fortunate to have a plethora of support in the form of grandparents doing a fair whack of the childcare! Childfree romantic dinners or holidays are not a rare novelty! Every holiday we've had we meet the exact same type of parents, and low and behold we see them trundling around the resort with granny and grandpa and going down for romantic dinners without the kids! When you have kids and zero support whatsoever, you quickly learn how to use any tool available.

We have a friend whoes strongly against TV and tablet time. Easy for her to say as she has a live in nanny who travels with the family on holiday! Hehe

My ASD child always had a device because it meant being able to eat without him jumping around or stimming. Now he's older, he's easier to distract and he likes a conversation but I'd still make sure we had something if we needed it.

Only if it's on a subject approved by @Somersetlady obs....

Yet they are high tech managers. Why did they choose to do that? Are they not promoting these products?

My DDs use screens whilst in restaurants. Not the whole meal but when I can sense them getting bored.

Luckily, I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks of my parenting techniques based on a brief glance into our lives.

Agree with this. We don't give our toddler any screen time before the meal, we'll sit and chat etc.

But toddlers are savages, she likes to wolf her food down. We want to enjoy ours slowly. So it's after food we may give her some screen time so we can finish our food in peace.

Exactly what @Amybelle88 said. I think people forget that they are seeing a minuscule snapshot of a family about which they know absolutely nothing! I allow my boys to have books or iPads or other forms of entertainment at restaurants if they want them - after a bit of chat, not straight away. My kids are at school 6 days a week (prep school) and play sport every single day - pretty much year round. When they're home they doing any number of activities (on top of stuff for school). Dinner at a restaurant is meant to be a relaxing event for all of us so I'm happy for them to chill out and watch a bit of iPad if they want. Nothing to do with lazy parenting. If only!

For gods sake stop judging people!! How do you know they haven’t spent the whole day seeing to them, playing, may have been up all night with them and the parents need a bloody break and just go eat their dinner.
Get a bloody life!!

We used to take colouring books and crayons for our dc between eating (it would keep a grandad or an uncle occupied too!) They need something to occupy themselves, but not switch them off from the group. We went to a restaurant and the children on the next table had I Pads with headphones. Apart from asking the dc what they wanted to eat, there was no communication between them and the adults at the table. It's a shame.

@Somersetlady Would it be OK if they all sat silently reading books?

Not interacting but reading rather than on iPad?

@quitethelittlekoala I know the effect screens have had on my ability to focus and be in the moment - and I was in my 30s when smart phones became a thing. It’s incredibly telling that many hi tech managers speak of not allowing their own kids to use these things.

So many screen apologists on this thread. It's fucking up kids' brains and creating a generation of quick-cut-addled zombies.

who is watching the dc?! 😱

😂

Oh, and their inability to move around! Being sedentary is very unhealthy and obviously their behaviour on holiday is exactly the same as their behaviour at home.

I'm shocked by the number of parents reading newspapers next to the pool. They should be interacting with their kids and fellow guests and staff.

Just got back from holiday and naturally, had more meals out.

After long days together, we went to Florida so done parks, experiences etc, whereby our kids had our full attention, interaction and conversation, iPads were absolutely used in restaurant sittings so we all had a chance to decompress. I also don't think other people out for a meal would want to listen to two kids tired from the parks all day getting grumpy.

It's not fair to assume that just because they're on an iPad or device at dinner they get no social interaction from parents.

For us, it's quite the opposite. I'm sure the ones who aren't arsed about their kids would actually leave them at home instead.

@Mnetcurious frankly I wanted a holiday from interaction with my kids but I couldn't find a babysitter for 2 weeks.

Pic attached with todays paper.

I genuinely don’t understand why you are on MNs! I’m bored & wish I was on holiday, 1 wk to go!

less chewing
poorer indigestion
mindless eating
ignoring staff
Lack of social skills
inability to sit quietly for short periods of time

Good lord, that's a lot of close observation. You've managed to count average numbers of chews across a sizeable sample size, comparing screen and non-screen counts in individual children. You've somehow also studied their individual digestive systems, quantified vague terms like "social skills" to apply in a research setting AND controlled for all other factors when determining ability/inability to sit quietly!

Clever you.

I try not to judge parents. You don't know their story and as others have said, the rules are probably relaxed on holiday.

Personally, I would be lying if I said I never give my son his tablet at meals out, however it is rare and I would much rather they learn to communicate what they want to the server and practise their manners.

But everyone deserves downtime, even kids. Mine certainly eats more when he is watching something.

Tbh we just didn't eat out when ours were that age. No fun and not fair on them when they weren't able for it. We did the odd coffee shop trip or brunch but no full restaurant meals. Started again when they got to 2.5 I guess? Started small and worked up and now they can sit through a meal no bother with no screens. Like I said I think the key is to never start, once they are used to it then of course they expect it. It's definitely the harder route though.

I wouldn’t been able to not eat out for years (have more than 1 dc). However used them sometimes for toddlers but was very easy to remove them without any issue.

This has been addressed. It doesn’t have to be only two options- iPad or being noisy. There are plenty of ways to make sure kids aren’t noisy in restaurants, interacting with them being a key one.