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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children on Ipads in restaurants

819 replies

Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 08:27

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 05/02/2024 11:07

Mnetcurious · 05/02/2024 10:41

Interesting the perception on this thread that parents who don’t have screens out at restaurants must be uber high brow and talk to their kids about Shakespeare at the table. Shockingly we’re actually pretty normal, never listen to radio 4, eat a frozen pizza occasionally and generally the chat with our kids is about funny things that happened that day or any other random subject, sometimes verging on highbrow but usually something mundane and ordinary just like your average family.

Don’t forget to add that you have a cracking sense of humor ….

Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 11:06

Sorry my misunderstanding.

I made the mumsnet error of assuming the giveaway is in the forum title🙈

OP posts:
Legoninjago1 · 05/02/2024 11:06

fonfusedm · 05/02/2024 10:42

@Somersetlady You're on holiday with a 6 yr old & a 9 yr old & you have spent 2 hours reading & posting replies on a thread you made judging others for screen use & not interacting with their dc 😆😆

We're yet to hear your response to this one OP?! You've been glued to this thread for over 2.5 hours now!

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 05/02/2024 11:05

It's not something we do - at home we go armed with a tote bag full of pencils and paper, and when on holiday we take a pack of uno cards to use if there is a long wait.

We aren't even massively fussed about screen time, and the kids are allowed to watch their iPads whilst eating dinner at home if we aren't eating with them for one reason or another.

Meals out are for socialising as a family.

Don't get me started on people who don't use headphones. So arrogant and rude.

fonfusedm · 05/02/2024 11:05

Maybe the other parent is in the pool interacting with the kids? Is this not normal for a family on holiday at some point during the day?

Do you normally spend your holidays on social media judging others? I don’t. And in the context of screen time & interaction as per the OP it’s a tad hypocritical. Whilst DH & I certainly share the load on holiday one of us wouldn’t sit on social media for hours but perhaps it’s normal for others. 🤷🏻‍♀️

theDudesmummy · 05/02/2024 11:05

They might.

Yes, some ARE.

some might display ASD symptoms because they go so much screen time

ODFOD. That is offensive.

Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 11:04

SpinningAroundTown · 05/02/2024 09:14

OP, why have you quoted yourself to agree with yourself? If you’re going to sock yourself, at least be better at it. 🤣

Got the sunnies on a sun bed quite chilled and was trying to reply to people.

accidents happen🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 11:03

Moier · 05/02/2024 09:13

Some might be ASD?

They might.

some might display ASD symptoms because they go so much screen time. It’s a real thing look it up.

OP posts:
Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 11:01

Littlegoth · 05/02/2024 09:16

😂

As PP no.

not everyone lives in the UK and has UK term times.

OP posts:
Jifmicroliquid · 05/02/2024 11:01

Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 09:31

This is a genuine question.

Do you children find you so boring that it is too much to sit through a meal in your company?

or that you finding interacting with each other boring and would rather interact with a screen?

Er, I don’t have children.

Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 11:00

baileybrosbuildingandloan · 05/02/2024 09:14

There's a saying in America-
Mind Your Business.
Fitting here I think?

Don’t ask questions to an anonymous group of people on social normalities in the 2024?

stop be interested in life?

OP posts:
Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 10:59

5thCommandment · 05/02/2024 09:12

Massively judgemental op here. Do you even have kids? Parents rarely get to go out, putting the kids on iPads whilst waiting for food keeps them quiet, it prevents disturbing other guests, and it's quite rare. We're not talking daily.
You need to stop judging others and ask yourself why you think you're so high and mighty that you can judge when you've no idea if people's circumstances. It might be the only meal the parents get out.

You're the issue here mate. Have a word with yourself.

yes i have children. Yes ive had my fair share of trying times. Yes i have had to remove my children when they didnt behave in restaurants.

I think from pp a lot of people simply don’t realise how damaging eating whilst on screens is. And what that loss of social interaction / inability to be bored will mean in later life.

some posters even dared to engage with me in a very adult way and politely explain their thought process.

others answered my op which was is this a new social norm - it seems that is a resounding a yes for many people this is normal when eating out!

OP posts:
Wictc · 05/02/2024 10:55

It’s not the norm where I live in London. I see it quite a bit in Paris. Maybe it’s more normal where you live OP?

Haven’t seen on holiday once yet, we are currently away.

Not sure I agree that it’s the ‘biggest challenge facing teenagers today’. Suicide and bullying I would say are a bit higher on the list.

Helena7319 · 05/02/2024 10:55

This reply has been deleted

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theDudesmummy · 05/02/2024 10:54

Perhaps the parents on holiday letting their dc use screens at meal times are the same ones who are swimming, sightseeing, interacting with them during the rest of the day?

Precisely. And in all the rest of life. My DS engages in a wide variety of sports and activities in his usual life. And on Saturdays we go out to lunch after a generally busy, sometimes hectic, week. He watches YouTube videos, I read a book, and we chill happily. Are you "disgusted" by seeing us at the next table?

And when we are on holiday we boat, tinker with the boat, swim, waterski, paddleboard, snorkel, socialise, walk etc etc. And in the evening we go to nice restaurants and he settles calmly and happily down to watch something on his phone or tablet after ordering his food, and the adults can chill and chat. Are you "disgusted" by seeing us at the next table?

I for one know what I find quite "disgusting" about this thread...

Helena7319 · 05/02/2024 10:52

This reply has been deleted

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Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 10:52

Lovingitallnow · 05/02/2024 09:09

@Gobolina no they're not feral children, they are domesticated. It's only on rare occasions they throw their pop at people and only ever people who deserve it. And I don't use screens at every meal on holidays.

But on the days they're pissed off at having to wait for their breakfast until everyone else is dressed or the dining room is open, or when they'd rather stay in the pool, or when they haven't napped and are wiped I'll absolutely give them a screen and not ask them to perform and to pretend they're adults and can regulate their emotions enough to sit through a meal in a restaurant.

If they're none of those things sometimes they get a colouring book and that way when we ignore our children and they ignore servers we don't get anyone thinking the alternate is feral children because colouring books are morally superior to screens.

I am not sure if you are missing the point? It has nothing to do with morals and everything to do with the harm the screen devices are doing to your child.

OP posts:
quitethelittlekoala · 05/02/2024 10:51

Mummytotwonow · 05/02/2024 10:15

For gods sake stop judging people!! How do you know they haven’t spent the whole day seeing to them, playing, may have been up all night with them and the parents need a bloody break and just go eat their dinner.
Get a bloody life!!

No. I won't stop judging them. You are tying yourself in knots trying to come up with "be kind" excuses. I won't stop judging because it's me who will end up having to fucking pay for the mind-numbing drugs many of these kids will be pumped full of to try and give them some sort of attention span, never having developed one thanks to being dumped in front of screens for hours from a tender age.

CantDealwithChristmas · 05/02/2024 10:51

Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 10:41

I prefer the italian version! It’s normal for kids to be kids.

your suggestion that there are 2 options dump them on a screen and get them to ignore everything and be ignored or have them causing a disturbance is so sad. Surely option no 3 is have them interact they don’t have to talk about literature they are kids they can talk about anything!

I think it's sad that you would class 'walking around' and 'playing' as 'creating a disturbance'

When we first moved to the UK and would discuss the strange foibles and eccentricities of the natives (as immigrants love to do), my grandmother would often opine that the Brits 'care more about their pets than they do about their children' 😂

'Seen and not heard' is definitely a Brit thing that more pro family cultures will just never get.

Maray1967 · 05/02/2024 10:51

Hoglet70 · 05/02/2024 08:31

Children on iPads are quiet children who aren't disturbing everyone else. You can ban screens in restaurants and then moan about the amount of feral screaming brats tearing around the tables, making vast amounts of noise if you like?

What??? There is another way. Mine never had screens at tables. Neither did they run around the restaurant shouting. I kept them occupied quietly - sticker books, normal books, top trumps, noughts & crosses- and conversation. You have to do some parenting, not ignore them.

Legoninjago1 · 05/02/2024 10:48

@fonfusedm 🤣🤣 love it. Judgement's only good for others i guess!

Helena7319 · 05/02/2024 10:47

It was fir my children. I spent time teaching them how to behave appropriately.

LtMoose · 05/02/2024 10:47

My children learn their table manners at home when we eat dinner, if I'm paying a lot of money for a meal out or a holiday, I would like to relax and enjoy my food and if that means my kids are in screens so be it. Honestly as long as they are silent mind your own business.

Scirocco · 05/02/2024 10:46

What you're seeing is point in time, so it's a bit harsh to condemn someone's parenting based on that.

DC very very rarely uses a screen in public. When we had a family member die and needed to put food in a small child on our way home from the hospital, there was nothing left in us to manage a nice, entirely interactive dinner. DC enjoyed watching cartoons with dinner, as an extremely uncommon occurrence, while DH and I sat and tried to pull ourselves together enough to get through the rest of the day.

TonyaD1986 · 05/02/2024 10:44

Ok. So I have a 6 year old son who has additional needs. At meal times he has to have something to watch whilst he eats. If he didn’t have an iPad to watch, his food doesn’t get eaten. It distracts him enough that he will eat and not complain. Where as if I took that away, he picks at every little thing on the plate, he gets up from the table and get distracted by other things (drinks machines, other diners) Having that tablet there really helps him concentrate and whilst he’s watching, happily clears the plate! Trust me, you would not prefer Some of these kids off their tablet at meal times. Mayhem

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