Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children on Ipads in restaurants

819 replies

Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 08:27

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

OP posts:
doilooklikeicare · 05/02/2024 14:19

@Somersetlady it you're not interacting with your children..........

🤭

Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 14:17

ChillysWaterBottle · 05/02/2024 11:59

Why can't you f'in weirdos leave other people alone. Its so bizarre. You're on holiday and this is what you choose to wind yourself up about?

I’m certainly not wound up. Very relaxed actually.
just asked a question which some people have answered honestly and clearly whilst others have chosen to taken a personal affront to. (Sometime whilst they insist they don’t care what anyone thinks)

OP posts:
Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 14:15

doilooklikeicare · 05/02/2024 11:59

@MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned OP has posted 47 times within 210 minutes, an average of every 4.45 minutes, hardly mother of the year interacting with her children is she? Arguing on SM, for that length of time and that often.

Then comments on others not interacting over an hours mealtime.

The hypocrisy is unreal, she's made a laughing stock of herself to be honest.

You very much look like you care @doilooklikeicare !

that’s an averGe you understand how averages work right? Can come on and reply then leave for swim come back and it’s averaged out.

just clarifying because your post makes me assume you don’t understand the term average in this context?

OP posts:
Mnetcurious · 05/02/2024 14:14

Ap24 · 05/02/2024 14:06

I'm pregnant with my first so no judgement on parenting here. But I'd rather have children on iPads in restaurants than have them running around or screaming.

Once again, it’s not an either/or situation. You can take kids to a restaurant and they can go without a screen and also not run around screaming.

Fionaville · 05/02/2024 14:14

I remember when my eldest was 3, pre ipads, he had a little portable DVD player.
We were on holiday and spent all day interacting and playing with him, including meal times. A few nights we went to this really nice restaurant. We'd sit him with his little DVD player and headphones on at the table, while we had a nice grown up adult meal. I can still remember the horrified looks from the Portuguese waiters.
But what they didn't see was that DS was autistic and a runner. We'd have spent the entire meal just frantically doing everything to keep him sat in his chair and occupied, without bothering other diners. Basically, without the DVD, we'd have never managed a nice meal out in our 2 week holiday.
Given that this was around the time of Madeline McCann, I don't think we did anything wrong! Better safe and sat watching a movie next to us, than left alone in a hotel room.
He's an adult now, who loves eating out and having good conversation and never touches his phone at the dinner table.

Surroundedbyfools · 05/02/2024 14:14

oh just mind ur own business. If it bothers u don’t let ur kids do it ! Honestly ppl have so much to say. Fair enough if it’s blaring and annoying ppl but if they r quietly watching it and eating just mind ur own.

Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 14:13

fonfusedm · 05/02/2024 11:27

Also @Somersetlady are you holidaying in the UAE? That's a massive no no on MNs! 😆

Surely the same people saying don’t judge won’t judge.

OP posts:
chickenpieandchips · 05/02/2024 14:12

Op I'm with you! There is a middle ground. My kids were just about too old to be given iPads in restaurants when smalll. So we talked, coloured in, played cards. No one team around or shouted.
As my friend says as the kids get older having dinner with them is the only time you see them so you'll want chat with them then.
My 15/17 year olds have been on a few nice meals this month with others. Been complimented on the fact they want to come and join in the chat.
I went for lunch with a friend yesterday. Tried to talk to 4 year old. Toddler was on the phone watching cartoon. Not an ounce of chat from her. And I was just asking about her teachers, the party she was off to. Not about poetry!

Mnetcurious · 05/02/2024 14:11

Y6yhnsr5 · 05/02/2024 14:01

On the contrary your comment is silly. I'd go as far as saying it's stupid. You're basically making a blanket statement not knowing that all kids are different. Do what works for your kids and let others do what works for their kids without being so judgmental.

This makes no sense. The poster commented saying that mumsnet expects children to sit in silence, you should talk to them about politics and economics and you shouldn’t make them laugh. No one has ever said any of this, that’s the point I made. I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

doilooklikeicare · 05/02/2024 14:09

@Somersetlady but you weren't in the bath for the whole of this morning?

Why do I care, I don't particularly but I just want to point out your double standards and I want to judge you, like you judge others,

I want to show what a hypocrite you are.

WindyDock · 05/02/2024 14:08

kirinm · 05/02/2024 11:07

Going by the OPs logic, why is colouring any better? We do both and actually colouring has enabled us to spend an adult length of time eating rather than rushing to get an overtired small child to eat on several occasions. But it's no different to a tablet if the supposed issue is not engaging with your child.

Colouring and screen time are not comparable. The fact that you need to ask is surprising.

Ap24 · 05/02/2024 14:06

I'm pregnant with my first so no judgement on parenting here. But I'd rather have children on iPads in restaurants than have them running around or screaming.

Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 14:05

doilooklikeicare · 05/02/2024 14:02

@Somersetlady you've posted every average 4.4 minutes for other three hours, stop with the "popping on and off" and you criticise others parenting.........

GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

What I find amusing is that I have been asked why do I care,

so why do you care? What my screen time is or what my content is? Currently in the bath whilst kids golf with Dad and I’m finding this thread amusing and alarming and honest and interesting.

I read today by the pool whilst the kids did apologies it’s not a classic but Marcus Rashfords the breakfast Clun books but will try harder for highbrow tomes or the work of Shakespeare as so many of you have alluded to must be standard reading in this house!

OP posts:
orangeoctupus · 05/02/2024 14:03

My son will not sit at a table to eat a meal. We have tried everything.
So now on the rare occasions we eat out (we usually don't bother as it's a nightmare) we give him a pad to try to keep him in his chair.

I know another mum whose baby screams bloody murder while in the car - the only thing that stops the baby from crying is watching baby sensory videos.

If you have a neurotypical and perfectly well behaved child then continue to judge away at what you perceive to be bad or lazy parenting. But when you have no clue what is actually happening for that family, maybe think twice before doing so. Some of us are trying our best and having a tough time.

doilooklikeicare · 05/02/2024 14:02

@Somersetlady you've posted every average 4.4 minutes for other three hours, stop with the "popping on and off" and you criticise others parenting.........

GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

CantDealwithChristmas · 05/02/2024 14:02

MartinsSpareCalculator · 05/02/2024 12:32

Yes. This just doesn't happen. This insistence of a unilateral acceptance of children behaving poorly anywhere and everywhere in Italy. It doesn't happen. It's very rare I see children sat looking at phones or tablets when I'm overseas. Nobody has any issue at all with children being children, but there's definitely an expectation (which is met) of good behaviour. Though, granted it is much more of a universal effort to entertain children than being solely down to the parents.

And somewhere popular with holiday makers would make it, oh yes a tourist destination. Given that British people are not the start and end of holiday makers.

Why is it "poor behaviour" to move around a restauarnt, play, greet other families etc?

Some of us call it being sociable and being part of a community.

You do realise that Mediterranean cultures don't just host restaurants for tourists, don't you? on my island the best restauarants are the ones that don't cater so much to the few tourists we get, but to the locals.

Our cultures don't simply exist as stage dressing for British tourists who go on holiday somewhere a few times and then decide they know all about that culture

fonfusedm · 05/02/2024 14:02

You've replied to loads of posts so you are clearly reading the thread.

Look at my post history and you’ll see haven’t been on for months

What relevance does that have?

it’s not hypocritical because I will not mindlessly be shoving food down my throat whilst watching Netflix and disengaging from all social interaction when we go out for dinner later.

We will have to agree to disagree. Anyway I hope you have more fun on the rest of your holiday, I'm off to get my dc!

Y6yhnsr5 · 05/02/2024 14:01

Mnetcurious · 05/02/2024 13:18

Noone said anything about sitting in silence. Adults don’t sit in silence at restaurants, you just include the children in conversation. No one said the conversation should be about politics/economics either. Adults laugh in restaurants, that’s fine for kids too. How silly.

On the contrary your comment is silly. I'd go as far as saying it's stupid. You're basically making a blanket statement not knowing that all kids are different. Do what works for your kids and let others do what works for their kids without being so judgmental.

Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 13:58

selfishmeow · 05/02/2024 11:16

Don't be shocked. The areas they fail as a parent according to you, rest assured they will make up in areas YOU fail as a parent.

Now does that feel nice and judgy?

A point I made myself earlier. We all feel we are doing the best we can.

OP posts:
Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 13:56

fonfusedm · 05/02/2024 11:05

Maybe the other parent is in the pool interacting with the kids? Is this not normal for a family on holiday at some point during the day?

Do you normally spend your holidays on social media judging others? I don’t. And in the context of screen time & interaction as per the OP it’s a tad hypocritical. Whilst DH & I certainly share the load on holiday one of us wouldn’t sit on social media for hours but perhaps it’s normal for others. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve been popping on and off. When kids had activity. Look at my post history and you’ll see haven’t been on for months. I genuinely came on to ask a question specifically about kids glued to screens when eating and if this was normal for many people.

im not checking back in as in the baths kids have gone golfing with their dad.

it’s not hypocritical because I will not mindlessly be shoving food down my throat whilst watching Netflix and disengaging from all social interaction when we go out for dinner later.

this thread was never about general use of screens……… for adults or children.

OP posts:
CattyMcTat · 05/02/2024 13:56

DistinguishedSocialCommenator · 05/02/2024 13:19

Incorrect. I had to, IE I had no choice over it as my family is aware of my stance about this type of behaviour and failing to rebuke my sibling would have meant I was accepting her poor, inconsiderate and rude behaviour.

Whilst I don't disagree that an adult using a phone during a meal is rude, I'd also suggest that policing another adults behaviour is pretty rude. 'My family know what I'm like' is kinda code for 'my family dread these meals as queen bees list of dos and don't make it a real chore'.

Personally, I've found using a screen with my 6YO a game changer. Yes he's somewhat engrossed at times, but he sits for a meal. He has ADHD and autism and we have no childcare options so this bit of freedom has been amazing. At the same time my 2.5 YO sits pretty well. She doesn't have a tablet but if food is taking a long time we may whip a phone out to distract her for a little while when she gets restless. Toddlers aren't designed to sit for long periods.

I can't imagine judging parents at an all inclusive though. They're out for 3 meals a day, by day 6 it's no longer a treat, it's boring AF for most children.

egowise · 05/02/2024 13:55

Yawn

fonfusedm · 05/02/2024 13:51

5 hours & you're still going?! Even I got bored & did my washing 😆

You are you deliberately missing my point?

You're definitely missing mine! How can you spend so much time on a screen when holidaying with your young dc?

TonyaD1986 · 05/02/2024 13:51

I do totally see your point and my daughter who is older doesn’t go on her phone at the dinner table. She likes to chat with us and enjoy her food. Whereas my lad, he’s just in a league of his own 😆

Somersetlady · 05/02/2024 13:51

Scirocco · 05/02/2024 10:46

What you're seeing is point in time, so it's a bit harsh to condemn someone's parenting based on that.

DC very very rarely uses a screen in public. When we had a family member die and needed to put food in a small child on our way home from the hospital, there was nothing left in us to manage a nice, entirely interactive dinner. DC enjoyed watching cartoons with dinner, as an extremely uncommon occurrence, while DH and I sat and tried to pull ourselves together enough to get through the rest of the day.

But this is exactly WHY I came on MN to ask the question. It was so alien I asked if this was the new norm evidently from many replies on here for a large percent of people it is the norm.

OP posts: