Page 2 | Children on Ipads in restaurants

Somersetlady · 2024-02-05T08:27:02+00:00

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner. Buffet to fine dining. From todlers upwards. No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons. i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

Leah5678 · 08/02/2024 13:32

Betterbuckleupbarbara · 08/02/2024 11:45

@Leah5678

You do realise it’s the older parents who ‘invented’ the tech?

Um is this supposed to be a "gotcha" question?
A handful of people also invented rocket science that doesn't mean every person in that generation understood it

Allfur · 08/02/2024 12:00

The ones who invented the tech don't allow their kids on it

theDudesmummy · 08/02/2024 11:58

Again with the ageism!!

Betterbuckleupbarbara · 08/02/2024 11:45

@Leah5678

You do realise it’s the older parents who ‘invented’ the tech?

JennyBeanR · 08/02/2024 11:44

Leah5678 · 08/02/2024 10:18

Yeah and the quality wasn't anywhere near as good as it is today, modern tech is way more addictive
And yeah I stand by what I said it's always the older parents who don't understand this. Younger parents know the dangers of letting their kids roam the internet from personal experience. You see people on Mumsnet who think their children will be the next Steve jobs and learn how to code if they give them an iPad to watch Coco melon at age 2 lol

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Sorry but I think this is uninformed and presumptuous.
As someone who has taken on many apprentices and industrial placement students, I am absolutely floored by how savvy the young generation is. Precisely because they started young and pursued it. Do you work in IT?
And just to state again. The modern tech is an absolute godsend for my Sen DD.

DonnyBurrito · 08/02/2024 11:43

Yeah and the quality wasn't anywhere near as good as it is today, modern tech is way more addictive

Pokémon on the Gameboy was deffo addictive! I once walked into a lamppost (whilst on holiday!) because my nose was so buried in it 😂 I was the same with the Harry Potter books. Completely obsessed and nothing else mattered whilst I was reading those.

Betterbuckleupbarbara · 08/02/2024 11:23

I am also surprised at the number of children who can’t be taken out without and iPad/can’t behave at the table.

Mnetcurious · 08/02/2024 11:19

Josette77 · 08/02/2024 05:55

" Eat a frozen pizza occasionally"
Is cracking me up so much.

Nothing screams down to earth and fun like an occasional frozen pizza.

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It was one of many points in response to “Saying that we don’t really eat out, we just get good fresh produce from the local market” as part of a description of the especially perfect people who are apparently the only type of parent to engage with their children rather than stick them in front of a screen at restaurants. Try using some context when you’re reading.

TinkerTiger · 08/02/2024 10:45

TinkerTiger · 06/02/2024 17:50

You used toys and games, other parents use iPads. Your choices weren't better.

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@Outofideas79 I was saying that the PP's choices (who's reply is in this thread) weren't any better, not that one is better than the other.

Andarna · 08/02/2024 10:33

GoodlifeGlow · 05/02/2024 08:40

this is a pet hate of mine, it’s so depressing to see people ignoring each other staring at screens whilst shovelling down their food.

From babyhood we always took an age appropriate toy, activity, card game or book with us so our daughter had something to do whilst we waited for our food, never needed a device.

she’s 6 and we still do this.

My parents were once berated that we had our noses stuck in a book at a restaurant. Times have changed, the methods haven't. It is not that different when a kid is playing with a toy or an ipad. I detest kids having access to social media, but there are plenty of educational fun apps for children.

Prrambulate · 08/02/2024 10:33

The vast majority of us are far too addicted to our phones. We know this instinctively. We sense that it’s getting harder to pick up a book and focus on reading, or do anything that requires concentration, than it is to scroll through multiple apps.

These new deceives have been designed to consume our attention and to be addictive. But somehow we’re in denial about this for our own children.

There’s no point in judging any individual family as you have no idea about their circumstances, but as a collective, of course course we’re resorting to too much placatory screen time. It starts from toddlerhood, but it’s not contained to unruly children. There’s a risk of a seamless migration from iPads to phones on the dinner table unless boundaries are set.

Leah5678 · 08/02/2024 10:30

CattyMcTat · 08/02/2024 10:23

Letting your DC roam the internet is very different to letting your DC play an age appropriate game on a kids tablet during a meal out.

I still think it's bad. Many have mentioned on the thread neurodiverse children so exceptions for them. But if the kids neurotypical they shouldn't be vegetating in front of an iPad instead of experiencing real life. I feel like shit when I waste time on my phone but hell I'm an adult and know how to self regulate kids don't know that.
Like I said though I don't even understand why people buy neurotypical young kids iPads. Absolute waste of money and that's the least of the issues with it

CattyMcTat · 08/02/2024 10:23

Letting your DC roam the internet is very different to letting your DC play an age appropriate game on a kids tablet during a meal out.

Leah5678 · 08/02/2024 10:18

CattyMcTat · 08/02/2024 09:57

Games consoles existed before the millennium. My older brother had a Segaaaa, then we had PlayStation. I spent my evenings as a teen getting home from school, logging onto the Sims and MSN. I think most parents have a kids Kindle Fire rather than an Ipad.

Yeah and the quality wasn't anywhere near as good as it is today, modern tech is way more addictive
And yeah I stand by what I said it's always the older parents who don't understand this. Younger parents know the dangers of letting their kids roam the internet from personal experience. You see people on Mumsnet who think their children will be the next Steve jobs and learn how to code if they give them an iPad to watch Coco melon at age 2 lol

CattyMcTat · 08/02/2024 10:06

Oh and game boys. I loved mine!

CattyMcTat · 08/02/2024 09:57

Games consoles existed before the millennium. My older brother had a Segaaaa, then we had PlayStation. I spent my evenings as a teen getting home from school, logging onto the Sims and MSN. I think most parents have a kids Kindle Fire rather than an Ipad.

Leah5678 · 08/02/2024 09:43

I'm with you op. I'll start by saying exceptions for kids with autism and other special needs if it helps them I don't have a neuro diverse child so I'm not going to speak on something I haven't experienced. But other than that I don't even understand why people buy neurotypical kids under 8 their own iPads? Just don't get it. My son is six and never had one never needed one. Maybe because I'm quite young compared to other parents of six year olds (2001 born) so I know how bad vegetating in from of a screen is for young kids (and that was the Nintendo Wii not even as bad as an iPad). I think it's mostly older parents who buy their kids iPads because they don't really understand the dangers.

doilooklikeicare · 08/02/2024 08:22

@shockeditellyou really? I'm not so sure!

shockeditellyou · 08/02/2024 07:49

doilooklikeicare · 07/02/2024 20:09

What sort of school are you sending your children to? It sounds atrocious, is it the area that's a problem?

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Go read any number of threads about primary school behaviour on here - many are written by teachers and shows that this kind of crap behaviour is commonplace, even in naice areas.

TigerRag · 08/02/2024 07:12

Georgyporky · 07/02/2024 18:37

Stops them running around & annoying other people.

Alternatively parents could actually talk to their child?

Original poster

Somersetlady · 08/02/2024 05:56

JennyBeanR · 07/02/2024 18:16

You don't seem to understand that eating in a restaurant does not equate to every meal in the home. You have no clue if these parents allow their child to use a tablet at home at the table.
I don't allow it for my daughter. However if she continues to be non verbal as she grows she will have a tablet or phone always at the table as that will be her means of communication. That's the thing, you simply cannot possibly know these families home situations.

Many people are conscious of disturbing others with their child. I am speaking as a mother to a SEN child, but I can totally understand parents simply using a tablet because they worry their child may disturb others...there's loads of reasonable explanations that don't equate to lazy parenting. So maybe it would be a good idea to not attribute the absolute worst on total strangers.

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If you rtft you will see that i thanked someone for pointing that out very early on!

On an entirely different note but something that also confuses me if people don’t want to be bothered by kids why don’t they go to adult only holidays or restaurants that say no children after x time.

this is not a question specifically directed at you @JennyBeanR just wondering out loud as lots of people say it’s an issue.

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Josette77 · 08/02/2024 05:55

Mnetcurious · 05/02/2024 10:41

Interesting the perception on this thread that parents who don’t have screens out at restaurants must be uber high brow and talk to their kids about Shakespeare at the table. Shockingly we’re actually pretty normal, never listen to radio 4, eat a frozen pizza occasionally and generally the chat with our kids is about funny things that happened that day or any other random subject, sometimes verging on highbrow but usually something mundane and ordinary just like your average family.

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" Eat a frozen pizza occasionally"
Is cracking me up so much.

Nothing screams down to earth and fun like an occasional frozen pizza.

Original poster

Somersetlady · 08/02/2024 05:52

Aclubber · 07/02/2024 17:54

Also would just like to add, I don’t feel like you are able to see any other possibility then what works for you. It’s great that you’ve learned screen time is not good for you. That isn’t the reality for some people though?

For example, some people and children who have extreme anxiety around food then this is the only thing that allows them to relax enough to be able to eat. I don’t claim, like you, to be super educated because to be honest you can’t understand everyone’s experiences.Instead I would prefer to ask the question and remain neutral until I can make an informed decision on something. Some people are better than this than others and from your reply it seems you can only see your own opinion.

The most important thing we can actually teach our children is to be open minded and that is the bigger issue here. Not whether they eat whilst watching a tablet 🤪

If you have the time or inclination go and have a look at some of the studies on Binge Eating Disorder and autism. In fact disordered eating or any eating disorders and autism.

If food is an issue then mindless eating and disassociating the brain from food whilst it’s eating is unlikely to be a positive for many ND children as they go through life. I do appreciate there are exceptions and that if you have been advised by a medical professional etc etc

But again thats not why i started this thread. It was to ask if screens from start to finish of a meal was considered normal as i only have my own children for reference. Some politely pointed out it was a holiday thing.

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Original poster

Somersetlady · 08/02/2024 05:33

Gemst199 · 07/02/2024 16:59

Exactly 50/50 on the poll!

YANBU if you are commenting on the number of children doing this - it does happen too much, some of these kids could be sitting reasonably well behaved and quiet with adult interaction.

YABU to be looking at any individual child and thinking this, there are a multitude of reasons why this might be the right call for an individual family at the time - maybe the kid is neurodivergent, maybe mum and dad have no village and literally the only way they can go on a 'date' is bringing the kids along and they want to talk to each other properly for the first time that month. Maybe the adult with them has their own health issues and has no 'spoons' left and desperately needs half an hour of down time.

But not all of them. Statistically speaking, yes, some of them are just lazy parents.

Looking at the sheer volume of children and wondering when/if this became the norm for ao many families.

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Original poster

Somersetlady · 08/02/2024 05:32

DonnyBurrito · 07/02/2024 18:00

There was less understanding around needs when I was growing up which was very challenging and led to many melt downs (very strict household) but for me real life skills that help you fit in are a big help when you go out into the real world. I actually was sitting there initially wondering what the future looks like for all these kids who ignore the staff and are so engrossed.

The world is changing for the better, overall. 30+ years ago, it was a shit time for the atypical! Stuff like autism and ADHD was often thought just to be bad behaviour, as it seems like you experienced first hand.

It's commonly accepted nowadays that masking takes up quite a lot of mental energy, and can lead to mental health issues later down the line.

Encouraging ND children to mask is not conducive to the type of inclusive society that would be most beneficial for everyone.

whilst i agree this would be a wonderful world to live in it’s simply not realistic🤷‍♀️

If i had not learnt the masking skills i would struggle to get work have struggled even more in school and probably not have a single friend!
Masking socially is the only way I would ever be able to make a friend in the first place…….

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