Children on Ipads in restaurants

My dad hit me. Hard. And take his belt off to me when we got home. But mostly we didn't go anywhere.

I prefer the ipad approach to parenting.

My dad and aunties used to talk about how they had to sit still and quiet for am hour a week at mass, no toys, no books, no screens from about age 4. But all the children managed- they would have been in massive bother if they didn't. Kids havent changed since then ,just parenting.

BTW I absolutely agree about the noise pollution. I would never ever allow my DS to sit in a public place listening to something without headphones. That is a totally separate issue.

So what did all the ADHD children do before iPads at mealtimes? Starve?

Why not ask me instead: So what would your non-verbal ASD son have done before the advent of tablets and smartphone and easy-to-use text-to-speech apps? Be non-communicative and bash his head on the floor hundreds of times a day out of frustration because no-one could understand him? Be unable to take part in any conversations or family life? Have no way to chat to us about his favourite topics and express his views?

I'll give you a clue: yes, yes and yes.

Parents have been managing with SN children forever, and they have survived for the most part, but we are allowed to use the latest tech to make our lives and those of our children easier, you know, even if the tech didn't exist in the past.

Height of laziness, also teaching children they cannot cope with not being entertained constantly, not to mention the sheer arseholeness of making every one else listen to the noise pollution from the tablets. It should be banned to listen to things without headphones. I was in the hospital the other day and the bell ends behind me were disturbing the whole waiting room like this.

Well yes, that’s entirely my point :)

Why would I need to point out a post that says ND should be locked up? I didn't suggest that anybody had said that. My point is that times have changed and autistic children are out and about everywhere now, as opposed to being locked away as they were years ago. So parents are using techniques that help them. They aren't for others to judge.

I am speaking from personal experience. Having a SEN child who did use a potable DVD player at times when we were out. Who was in a buggy for a bit longer than other kids and was big for his age. Who had reins on him when he was walking. I've had my fair share of funny, judgey looks.
I also have children who never needed any of those things. If I'd only had them, I too wouldn't have a clue how hurtful it is to see people being so judgemental about parental strategies.
Nobodies saying every child with a screen at the table is ND. But a significant proportion of them will be. So it's best not to judge.

Less messy/less stuff/easier to just carry an iPad?

I don’t have children, but I personally would far rather see a quiet child sat watching a program or playing an iPad game than screeching, running around or being a general nuisance.

I don’t say this often, but parents can’t win sometimes can they!

What's 'troll hunting' when it's at home?

Well of course not and it’s ridiculous to think my comment applied to every single child in the world regardless of need or situation.

Can you point out the post that says ND children should be locked up and not allowed out?

And then perhaps you could explain whether you believe every child on a screen at a restaurant is ND and not capable of appropriate social interaction during a meal out.

Well we should be glad that life has been made easier for these children with SEN and their parents. Lots of advancements have been made in the treatment of special needs children i.e they aren't locked away in institutions anymore.
Now we just need to get all of the general public on board with the fact that these children are in the community and even on holiday and in restaurants, so not to stare and judge their parents for their parenting. Wouldn't that be nice?

I work with autistic children. No one has a screen over lunchtime.

Why are fuzzy felts/sticker books/colouring any more noble than an iPad (no sound of course). Genuinely interested. Damn those kids playing a lovely game of colouring/word search etc on the iPad, with no chance of accidentally colouring on the table! 😄

The previous posters are implying that their DCs wouldn’t eat at all without screens, not just at restaurants.

Bored children? Books, magazine, colouring, card game, puzzle, activity book, joke book, eye spy, fuzzy felts, connect 4, so much more...! Plus conversation!!!!!!

We used a portable DVD before ipads came out.
Before that, lots of parents with SEN children just didn't eat out much. Would that be better?

It's amazing the amount of people who can just look at a child sitting with headphones on, with a screen and just know instantly if they are autistic or not. It's a gift, offer your services to the NHS, you could be the answer to long waiting lists!!

We used one for DS in certain restaurants/occasions and it was the difference between eating out or staying home. He's grown up to be great company in restaurants and chats away, never looking at his phone.
My other kids aren't autistic and have never needed screens at the dinner table. Imagine if I'd only had them, would I be judging the parents of children using screens? I like to think not, as its not in my nature. Its food for thought though. Its best not to judge other parents, unless you've walked a mile in the shoes of a parent with SEN children.

So what did all the ADHD children do before iPads at mealtimes? Starve?

They are on holiday. I wouldn't think it was great if they ate all their meals at home like that, but as long as it's not noisy I don't care what other people's kids do. Seems a shame to be focussing on that when you are meant to be enjoying yourself. It's better than kids running amok surely?

When i was young people didnt really take young children to restaurants in big numbers. Im not sure people ate out as much generally, and it was seen as a grown up space. If you did go, it was very much an early sitting at the right type of place.

So i think people are taking toddlers/youngster to places they didnt used to go so mum and dad arent stuck in. And using ipads to keep it calm and quiet for other diners.

They might talk lots at home.

I agree with the OP on this. It's actually quite depressing. Mealtimes are a good opportunity to engage with your kids and to teach appropriate behaviour. I pity the teachers who have to deal with these kids - their attention spans must be seriously damaged by frequent exposure to screens.

Two small kids walked straight out in front of my car at the local gym carpark at the weekend, carrying iPads and completely immersed in their screens. The mother was about 10 paces ahead. It's almost as though kids can't be expected to integrate into normal society anymore.

Exactly, it is not a question of 'either' 'or' ... but teaching appropriate behaviour at the table- at least during the eating part of the meal- be it at home, or anywhere else. Quite simple, really.

How does one tell which child has an invisible disability and which one has lazy parents?

My 2 youngest sons one loves to eat out the other has asd and yes he has a phone or iPad otherwise we’d never go bloody anywhere he enjoys going for his dinner or lunch but just zones out last time his phone had died and he pointed to what he wanted never said a word the whole time and ate really fast then wanted to go home. It’s not fun for anyone else, he sits quietly watching his show or game doesn’t annoy anyone else.

If you think I’m lazy great but myself and other Sen parents just want a bit of normalcy and not to have to cook sometimes and if a child being on a device achieves that then so be it.