Children on Ipads in restaurants

@doilooklikeicare 😂🙈 love this response!!!

Don't worry about people judging you, from OPs post it shows she's quite happy to spend a significant amount of time ignoring her children whilst arguing on SM. She then trots out rubbish like, I've interspersed it with swimming, when everyone can see that she's posting every 2-4 minutes, then has the audacity to judge other parents!

Honestly, enjoy your family like, it sounds great and well measured.

Of course lots of MN, don't want to talk to their DHs, cause they've decided they're useless by the time they've got two children with them, great that you and your DH, still have time and energy for each other.

Nope, not always.
My two boys will sit and play together on their iPad and take turns.
My neice would sit and read a book and not talk to anyone.

I'm not pro or anti iPad, but you can't speak for every child. Listen to what others are saying on this thread if you can't see it from the other side.

My charming and lovely autistic DS does three types of sport, yoga, dancing, and is in a circus group and an amateur drama group. He chats all day long (using a phone screen as he is non verbal, sorry if that would upset you @Helena7319?). We moved hundreds of miles to be in a place and at a school we thought best for him. We moved away from the UK so that he will one day have his EU passport back and not be limited in where he can live. We have been through a great deal emotionally and financially as a family to get him to where he is. He is the centre of our lives and everything we do.

And you are going to sit there judging me and calling me lazy and disgusting because he and I sometimes enjoy a quiet restaurant meal together on a Saturday afternoon without people staring and tutting at us? @Helena7319 you do you. I know which type of human being I would rather be.

Well said. This thread has reminded me of just how crappy people can be.

I always worried that people are judging me when I let my children watch iPads (on silent or with headphones on) when we were on holiday.

We would have got up early with our kids and played with them all day, eaten out at breakfast and dinner without screens. But by dinner time they were tired and not used to eating in a restaurant three times a day.

My husband and I probably manage a dinner out by ourselves about once a year. No local family to babysit and booking a babysitter just feels like one more chore to add to the to-do list. One week a year it’s nice to be on holiday and be able to chat uninterrupted over dinner. You’re judging parents on a very small window of their day with their children.

Agree with this, again as one off's then no problem, but I did notice some parents seem to do it for the while duration of a meal, for every meal. The age of the child didn't seem to matter either

As long as they've got headphones and not bothering me I don't care. One thing I did notice recently on holiday which did disturb me is how many even were watching at breakfast, I understand dinner may be longer and more tedious but to even be watching a screen so early does seem wrong. Another thing was the parents who set it up straight away even if the kids don't seem particularly interested, or worse when there were multiple kids who should really just be interacting with each other (child friendly resort, early evening so shouldn't be an issue). It seems this is the default for many.

An iPad is detrimental for them and will lead to long term developmental and behavioural problems. Books and colouring are harmless, it may be bad manners for an 8 year old to read at the table but it isn't actually harmful to their developing brain

Do wheelchairs, hearing aids and guide dogs "upset" you too? Or is it just aids used by people with developmental and intellectual difficulties that offend?

It's people like you who make every day just that little bit more difficult for people with disabilities and those who care about them. Well done to you, you must be so proud of yourself. Have you an end goal in mind?

@Helena7319 I have just read your incredibly nasty earlier message about not caring if people are upset by your judgemental attitude. Wow. The level of prejudice, ablism and pure spite is unbelievable. So your "upset" at seeing my son happily eating his fish and chips while watching a video (not sure why you are so upset by something that is none of your business and causes no-one any harm or inconvenience) trumps our right to participate in society in the form of having a peaceful and enjoyable lunch in a restaurant? Just fuck right off. Or better still, come and say that to my face in the restaurant.

@Helena7319 she did not say her child would "starve" through lack of an ipad, you are just nastily twisting things and you know it. She said that they would not be able to go out for a meal without intolerable levels of judgement, which make it so unpleasant that she would avoid it. Which is exactly my situation too. Is "not starving" the most we are allowed to hope for in terms of our children's enjoyment of life?

You are the PP who would judge me and my son "disgusting" if you saw us out and about, are you not? All I can hope is that our challenges in life are never visited on you.

@mintmagnum3 yes, it is better to have books, colouring, card games etc because these things facilitate a level of interaction.

A tablet is an immersive experience that essentially blocks out everything else in the environment.

I do not believe any child has ever starved to death through lack of an ipad. Don't be so dramatic and take some responsibility.

Lazy parenting 🙄🙃

So bringing a bag full of activities which will half entertain your child is any better then bringing an iPad, which they will likely enjoy the entire time, is any better? Why is it better?
If they say and read a book and didn't interact would this be better?

It's a different world now to when we were all children. Stop demonising screens and stop shaming parents who are trying their best.

Just enjoy your food and get on with your day.

I don't really care if you're upset. In the same way you don't care if the people around you are bothered by the use of screens at the dinner table. It's kind of a reciprocal don't give a toss.

@orangeleopard exactly! Enjoy your meals with your son. I certainly enjoy mine.

I wouldn’t be able to go to eat if I didn’t bring my son’s iPad (Amazon tablet). I very rarely eat out as I’m disabled and he has suspected adhd so it’s a struggle especially as a single parent. But when I do, if he doesn’t have his iPad he is up and down and cannot sit down and sit still to eat. With his iPad, it enables him to be stimulated and concentrate on something so he’s not being as disruptive. This is a win win for everyone in a sense that I can eat my food in peace, he can actually eat and he’s not disrupting everyone else’s meal.

With the exception of children with SEN I agree with the lazy parenting. We have taken colouring, books, small games like dobble or cards (not in higher end restaurants) to pass the time between courses. We also eat at the table with no screens at home each night (except Saturday movie night and dinner on the sofa) so it's normal behaviour for us. Some of the best conversations happen at dinner time.

I wonder if this is one of the main differences between my family and yours? My son is homeschooled and we are actively engaged all day in various stuff. The only exception is mealtimes... No-one in our family enjoys chatting over food. For us, eating is a time of quiet solitude, with a book or a movie or just sitting in the garden.

We all know how to use good table manners and have conversations over meals, it's just that it's tedious (and kind of gross, I'd rather take a walk and chat instead of watching someone else chew).

I went on an all inclusive to a beautiful hotel in Majorca in 2022 I would definitely say it was very middle class and it was during term time so there were loads of babies, toddlers, preschoolers and I saw the same thing. That virtually every table in the enormous buffet restaurant had an iPad (or more than one) with a child glued to it.

Interestingly I have visited Butlins in 2022 and 2023 and although some tables had them, most didn't.

A lot of parents nowadays are lazy and selfish IMO, I'm not saying every parent whose ever got their phone or iPad out is a bad parent, but I do see a lot of people ready to jump in and say there's nothing wrong with it, but there bloody is. Do better for your children.

I don't agree that kids eat more when using an ipad. In any case I would not be able to take my severely autistic dd out without it so you can mind your own business and bask in the glow of your perfect parenting.

Mrtiddlescat, you can't tell - but if only 15% are neurodiverse, it means the other 85% are not using them for medical reasons