Children on Ipads in restaurants

Pretty common isn't it. I hate it. If your older kids aren't well enough behaved to eat at a table why bring them out?

Or a packet of crisps and bottle of coke in the car outside the pub, then drive you home drunk!

I mean how many restaurants were there around years ago, maybe the odd Berni Inn?

No let's judge them all, after all we've got @birdglasspen saying it's awful, she's done it herself, but only a couple of times, so we mustn't judge her! I presume she's got a sign she puts up saying it is awful, but hers are ok, because this is only the third time....... so she is exempt from the judgement and deciding that everyone knows just from that one interaction and it's really ok because she doesn't normally stick them in front of it and it's not sad her doing it.

And she's not done it at breakfast or lunch, so that makes her an even better parent!

The hypocrisy is real!

Just loling at the people out there saying this generation's parents are lazy, when my parents idea of parenting was to send me out the house at the beginning of the day and tell me I should come back for tea time and not before! 🤣 have people ever considered that actually this is THE MOST hands on generation of parents, and sometimes they need a bloody break.

Do you have kids ?????

It's hard to judge without seeing their whole day. Some days you have absolutely Mummed your tits off, played games, done crafting, been to the park and done child friendly things ALL day, and then just fancy a bit of downtime. The kids are probably happy to have a break too.

Here is your 🥇!

I completely agree with you - it is the easy option. If you take stickers, colouring etc. they can get used to getting involved in conversations as well, but on a phone or IPad they just block everything out like little zombies. Sitting at a table becomes learnt behaviour if you put the work in. We have always sat at a table for dinner at home as well so they got used to it from a young age. It’s the time that they chat the most (teens now) as we still don’t have phones at the table.

I don’t understand why some people seem to think that the options are to either give your child a screen, or let them run amok? Surely there’s another option which is to engage with your child? Talk to them, listen to them, discuss the day, tell jokes, let them colour if you have to. I’m far from a perfect parent, but have never given any of my 4 children a screen in a restaurant. But then we eat together at the table every night, so they know how to behave. I think a lot of children don’t eat at the table with their parents. It seems to be quite common now for children to eat their meals at play tables with an iPad for company.

Totally agree. You see it all the time. Parents constantly on their phone, people having their gadgets on speaker in public, kids in their iPads, no one actually talking to eachother. It’s becoming rare to see families interacting with eachother in restaurants or on trains. No wonder there’s an epidemic of kids not learning how to speak, anxiety issues etc.
A society wide issue of people not knowing how to behave in public.

How do you feel about that twice you did give them iPads people were saying, you were

Lazy
Poor parent
Probably never spoke to your children ever?
Were deeming you so bad, they started a post on MN about you, encouraging others to join in at what a dreadful person you were.

@Snowpaw I don't disagree with you about the home situation you describe (although I note you describe them as good kids who you enjoy talking to, so they can't be all that damaged from their use of iPads).

But in a public place please do just consider that the reason why the child is not "chatting" at the table could be because they literally cannot do so, before you judge.

Also if you watched my son in a public place, you probably would have no idea that he was in fact "chatting", even though he was. When he sits down at the restaurant table he certainly "whips out" his phone immediately so that he can discuss the menu with me and then give his order. To you, unless you were quite close up, it would look like he was just messing about on a phone which is hanging on a lanyard around his neck, so is always within reach of his hands. The truth is you never really know what is going on in other people's lives.

I know that no baby should be holding an electronic device so close to their eyes just so their parents can shop in Primark.

also, hi, because based on your comment I can only imagine you do this!

I agree, it’s awful. My kids are 2, 4 and 7. I have never entertained them with an iPad or similar at breakfast or lunch. At dinner maybe twice only when I knew dinner would be a struggle as they were tired and grumpy and we really wanted to eat a nice meal! Otherwise we bring stuff for them to do…which when I think about it maybe means they can’t sit quietly through a meal in a restaurant without some entertainment! I wouldn’t let them run wild as an alternative to an iPad. It’s sad how many folk just stick their child on a screen to silence them.

I can understand that they have their uses in a difficult spot if you have a fractious child on your hands, but I find it hard to watch that some parents don't even give the children even the chance to chat / talk at a table first before whipping out the screens. It doesn't bother me hearing little children chatting to their parents, even if they're occasionally a bit loud or excitable - they have a right to use their voice in a public space just as anyone does. I don't like this culture thats developing that children have to be occupied and silent at all times.

I was round at my friend's house when it was the kids' teatime and her parents were absolutely flapping trying to charge up the iPads ultra quickly because they didn't have enough batteries and the food was nearly ready, and everything was just reaching this weird fever-pitch of pots and pans clattering around, and trying to get the iPads ready while dishing up tea, and everything was put on the table but only when the iPads were ready. I found it absolutely bizarre - they are good kids, who I enjoy talking to. I was quite happy to chat to them while they ate their dinner, but I couldn't because they were eating with headphones on and it was clear that this was what their parents expected of them to do.

Or I will see in cafes parents will get the iPads out and ready on the table before they've even taken off the kids' coats.

I think it teaches really strange social norms to children and really limits the chance for children to practice conversations / language.

I would not judge. I struggle to get one of my kids to sit still as he has adhd. It's not bad parenting it's a disability. My other child is "perfectly" behaved not to label either one of them. Why would I make my hard earned holiday stressful for me and others! Get a grip and mind your own business.

@Youcannotbeseriousreally what's rude is this judgemental comment, you know nothing about that baby, the child or the situation.

@Somersetlady what's shocking is such a judgemental comment from someone who knows literally nothing about these parents or children. I literally despise people who comment and judge other people's parenting. How about you get off your phone and do something constructive instead of judging others.

Children with autism have been mentioned several times

My daughter is autistic. She needs the sensory feedback from familiar songs/shows on her iPad to feel regulated in public places.
I have a friend with a non verbal son who needs a tablet with him at all times to regulate. She was rudely spoken to by an elderly lady that her son hadn’t spoken at all during the meal and was on his tablet the whole time….. he is completely non verbal 🤦🏻‍♀️.
There is more autistic children out there then rubbish parents. Maybe consider that…

The tablet is a last resort for my husband and I. We try to have device free meals, and then when it gets to a point where we would actually like a break we give our oldest the tablet. I use to have more of an issue with tablets but actually, times are changing and they can be quite educational. Our son doesn't just watch cartoons on his.

@ForegoneAlliance because playing with toys, colouring and reading are respectable middle class things to do. Playing on a tablet...... <shudder>.....isn't.

Comparing ipads to life saving antibiotics is a bit of a stretch

Some will never sit at a table nicely.
Years ago when I was a carer I interviewed at a home for adults with special needs. I do remember some sat at the table with a carer helping them eat, but I also remember several wandering in and out. This was before I had my daughter so I wasn't as knowledgeable then so tbh I didn't think twice about the specifics. Having a daughter with special needs now, years later I do think back to what I saw in that home.
Obviously I aim to help my daughter learn and integrate with society as best she can. But it's freaking hard work and I'm aware that it's very possible she may never be able to.

I'm really not sure I understand the difference between a child colouring, reading or playing solo with a toy at a table vs colouring, reading, playing a game or watching a video on a tablet?

Restaurants are incredibly boring for a lot of children. I was a good child, I sat and waited for my food, chatted with my parents.... but my god, I was so, so bored! Every evening meal on holiday!
Given the choice, many children would choose not to eat out at all in an adult restaurant. They'd rather be active or playing.

I really can't judge a parent for providing their child with something to occupy them for the time it takes to eat a meal. Especially can't judge them if they just want 5 minutes of adult chat after a busy holiday day keeping the kids active.

Honestly, some people are never happy unless they are judging everyone else.