Looking at "insta worthy" homes gets me down..

Stop looking then. Also if you do not know that this content is usually staged for the camera you probably should not be looking in the first place.

That’s nonsense. I know quite a few genuinely affluent people and their homes are gorgeous. You’ve been reading too much jilly cooper and trotting out the old stereotype of the upper class in their run down pile. There are many very wealthy people, and their homes do not tend to the scruffy.

Looking at all these insta houses (the one I'm looking at at the moment is the haddon home.. they're usually working mums too.. and their houses are immaculate. I don't know how they do it.

Their pathetic 'insta' houses that they like to show off are shown at a very well prepared few seconds, they've probably spent a fortune having it staged and prepared, all so that they can think people are impressed. They don't seem to realise that genuinely affluent people usually have scruffy houses because they don't have to care what the hoi-polloi think!

I follow some home /interior folks on insta. I use it for inspiration, as we have renovated ours. So I’m their demo graphic. I follow the ones where it’s to my taste, and there is everything available. This house happens to be the ops taste. It’s fine if it’s not others or mine.

she does envy it. She does want it. She is feeling shit as she doesn’t have it. She isn’t their target audience either.

the target audience for any of these is people who live in similar properties, who like the style of the interior, who may buy the same things they have,

it isn’t for people who just feel shit as they don’t have it, it’s not to make them feel bad,

whenever I have bought something that’s been influenced by an advert or influencer, it’s because I like it. There is no negativity, I don’t feel bad about what I do have. And I find the whole thing odd to think that’s how it works.

so for example if I buy a new hair dye, or face cream, or a ruggable , no part of me feels bad, I just think oh that looks good., quite fancy that, or the reviews are good for that. I don’t sit thinking fuck me im so wrinkly best be buying a face cream

Currently having a big insta page cull of make up/homes etc that are so perfect and make me feel a bit crap-it’s working! I will keep some declutterring pages as that’s my aim this year and I find them really helpful. Also culling any that make me want to buy the latest anything, as my focus is also using up everything I have and replacing once used, not keeping back ups. I also find I feel more fed up at certain times-hormonal/life shit so I have to be aware of my triggers!

If you actually want tips on how to make your house look nice - the main thing is decluttering every few months. Keeping things minimal and clean. Plus a lick of paint can make a house look brand new. It can all be done v cheaply.

Watch "Sort Your Life Out" on BBC to see what a difference this can make. It also massively cuts down on tidying day to day as you have less things to tidy.

I see this thread as the OP watching others on insta and it's making her feel bad about her lot. She gives ONE example account and a few posters have jumped on it to give their opinion on how much they dislike it.

If it makes them feel superior then crack on.

My advise to the OP was not to follow things if they made her feel bad. Not rip apart something she feels is aspirational.

I have a subscription to Country Homes and interiors , and it's full of beautiful stylised houses , with artfully curated objets collected by Giles and Phillips Hartley - Farquhar from their travels to the outer steppes of Goa or somewhere similar . None of them look remotely comfortable to me . I couldn't imagine coming in from work and vegging out on any of those stylish but uncomfortable sofas ( with no tv in sight ) , or making dinner in the pristine kitchen that doesn't seem to have a kettle, Or washing the mud off the dog in the immaculate boot room .

I'd rather come home to my own house , even if I spend my time sweeping up the splinters where the hound has used the log basket as a toy box , and the kitchen is best described as overstuffed .

I’m really fascinated that you still look.
Just, why?
I’d love to have a garage btw - all that filled up storage space you have? I have to find room for all that stuff in my actual living space.
And I’m still full of gratitude compared to those with the added cost and insecurity of renting or even homeless.
You need to take some responsibility for your emotions and stop indulging in choosing to make yourself feel “down”.

Our house is 'like that' (or so we've been told by visitors). Myself and DH both have full time jobs, so we're certainly not 'working on it' 24/7. The trick is to not have lots of clutter, a place for everything and tidy as you go. But it is possible.

Haddon home looks like a Hinch clone. My jealousy homes are Jools Oliver and Marina Fogle. Very aware a lot of the pictures are likely staged.
A woman I knew of in my home town started an insta home page. It wasn't massive, but won local awards. I knew where she lived and her lifestyle. The photos she shared of her home were NOTHING like real life. She would take pictures in local parks and give the impression it was her back garden, she posed in a kitchen showroom pretending it was her kitchen 😏 and the few corners of her house that she actually did show were very carefully curated, and staged to make one corner look like different rooms. She heavily embellished everything about her life, including her job, where she was on holiday, and her relationship. She always was an Elevenerifer but she must have been called out by someone as her page disappeared suddenly one day.

A lot of the Instagram perfect houses seem joyless, a curated bookshelf filled with items bought en-masse and chosen to fit-in/co-ordinate and books bought because they look well, with the spines colour co-ordinated. And a lot show little snapshots, a carefully tidied and ‘curated’ corner, taking care not to show anything outside the corner because if they did, we’d see the reality.

I prefer to slowly gather and furnish my home. Favourite books on shelves, interesting pieces gathered over years on shelves, etc. My home looks well but is definitely lived in and out together over time. When my children were younger, there were toys and too much plastic and school bags, now they are older, everything is much neater and easier to keep.

I’m glad I never had, as a lot of influencers do, felt the need for F&B paint in certain colours, curated shelves and a general air of blandness and feeling they have to keep up with interior trends.

I love looking at Instagram for inspiration too. I’m not very good at envisioning things or knowing what goes well together, so it’s really helpful.

I love that I can type in the name of a Dulux paint shade or piece of IKEA furniture and see how it’s being used in endless real rooms.

Is it possible that they can have a kitchen island AND bin juice at the same time?

Personally, I love getting inspiration from Instagram. There are lots of content creators who focus on furniture hacks and detailing how you can achieve certain looks without breaking the bank. Maybe OP should focus on those pages?

@NextPrimeMinister Today 13:13
I don't think coming on here and slagging off this insta page is particularly kind.

For God's Sake. It's perfectly acceptable to have negative opinions about anything and share them with your friends, family or anonymously on the internet.

I don't understand how some people are so sanctimonious that they think that any legitimate opinion or criticism is some sort of moral failing of unkindness.

It also REALLY pisses me off that the 'unkind' 'be kind' excruciating tropes are always wheeled out by women and directed at other women.

When did someone last say to Jacob Rees-Mogg or Donald Trump or Brad Pitt or any man "be kind"?

YABU. I don't follow Inst because its so fake. I have no interest in what celebrities have bought, or what the latest greatest thing in.

I buy what I want, in colours I like, when I need it.

Anyone I know who has a perfect house, either works part time or has a cleaner. I don't know anyone with DC and a full time job that keeps a show home style house without help/money.

YABU to be a grown woman getting upset about instagram. If it makes you feel that way then unfollow or delete the app

Nobody is asking you to look so why do it if you know this is the effect it will have on you

Don't look at them. Problem solved.

These are people that make a career out of showing off their homes, they're not doing that plus a full time job. And they probably still have a mountain of crap just out of shot.

I get the envy, but maybe you could use these accounts to get some realistic ideas that could help make your home more cosy? Maybe not bifold doors but you could choose a more affordable project, possibly some better storage. Or just accept being real and imperfect and doing your best to get by, instead of aspiring to live like you're in a magazine photoshoot. Be proud of what you've achieved by having your own home and how much you work at making it a good place to be. Real life is messy, embrace it! I imagine being an influencer must be rather soul-destroying actually.

There are tons of normal houses on Instagram as well

Exactly

I know an influencer with a makeup page and a house page. The house is a mess, she just uses old pictures and keeps recycling them. She also is a huge fan of filters.

@Janetime
No they don’t make me feel bad, I’m happy with my lot and see the bragging/fakeness/marketing for what it is. Op is a case in point though, influencers show off their ‘perfect’ lives/houses/hair/outfits and it makes people feel that their house/clothes/whatever are inferior by comparison. So followers buy the stuff they’re flogging to try and get a piece of their happiness.

@Janetime I would say it is very similar. Make people feel bad about what they have so they think more stuff is what will make them happy. Invent things that become "problems", from body image to home decoration, then flog them the solution to the problem. Insecurity is a valuable thing to marketers ...

And "aspiration" is just another word for the gap between what you have and what they're selling that they're encouraging you to focus on. And feel bad enough about that you long to bridge that gap.

@CarterBeatsTheDevil great! Lots of people clearly do love a new build
eatate. Lots don’t. For me it’s not insta house excitement fodder.