To ask why you send your children to private school?

Because they were both lucky enough to be awarded DfE funding to attend a vocational dance school. Both would have attended the local comp otherwise.

But sadly a factor! Where we live in the UK the most diversity we see is someone from another county! So actually by sending our DS to an international school will mean there is more diversity

My DC went to state primary. Has ASD with high academic abilities, has significant issues with anxiety and sensory issues that make being in a crowded classroom difficult, as well as some processing difficulties with essay-type subjects where deduction and conjecture are needed. The state secondary we were offered simply wouldn't have had the time and resources to offer the additional SEN support needed as the needs are below the threshold for additional funding. The private grammar school we found offers a much more stable and supportive environment. We aren't massively wealthy (neither dh nor I are higher rate tax payers) but we are reasonably well paid middle-management professionals. We can afford the fees from our income by living a lifestyle which would match more with us each earning £10kpa each less than we do, which is manageable.

@AttillaThePlum My 17 yo goes to a (good) state school. He is on-track for 4 A*s at A-Level and literally the world is his oyster. Looking at both Oxford and Cambridge.
I don't accept that you need to be privately educated to succeed.
As an aside his dad and I separated (a very nasty divorce) when he was 6 and he has two homes but this has not got in the way either.

DS will be moving to a private school after the summer holidays and going into year two.

We always wanted to support a local rural school he currently goes to but it's no longer viable. We actually sent him there knowing it had a bad ofsted result but a new head had come in and the issues raised in the ofsted inspection were dealt with....it was then taken over by a trust and the head left. Currently one teacher for all year groups, 30 children in the school struggling to get supply teachers or applications for full time staff (DS is mainly taught by a TA with a supply a few times a week). His reading and maths is well below average and quite honestly I've got no idea what they're teaching him. We do everything we can to help at home but we're not teachers! Topped off with poor behavior by other students which is never dealt with, safeguarding issues, constantly changing wrap around care (impossible when we both work full time) and appalling provision for SEND pupils. All other schools in the area are run by the same trust and have poor reputations.

For us the private school he is going to will provide our DS with far better opportunities to actually learn, more diversity as it's also an international school, wider curriculum , better wrap around care and better pastoral care.

DS is an only child and we can just about afford it but his education is our top priority.

Very able child and no other selective schools available where we live.

We moved in Yr 2 when that year’s teacher announced that he wasn’t going to teach her any new maths all year.

Love the posts claiming ethnic diversity was a major reason for sending their kids to a private school 🤣

@Charlingspont Sorry. That was kind of my point, I just didn't make it very well. You have no control over your cohorts at all. Bullying can happen anywhere as can 'getting in with the wrong crowd' (this is my biggest fear!). And one school setting might be brilliant for one child, but simply unsuitable for another.

I

From another thread I read a few days ago, a poster remarked that in her local area, there was no middle class to up the ante in state secondary schools. It's somewhat true here in the rural SW. There are doctors, vets and lawyers with children in state schools, but during my PGSE practise year, I saw that they were most of the kids in the grammar stream for years 10 and 11. The unstreamed classes were unruly.

I didn't think we would do private school. In the end we have. There are quite a lot of things I don't like about it. Definitely not more diverse than the state schools in my area. The focus on sport and fixtures I find a bit irritating. The uniform is too rigid.

But the academic standards are high because it is a very selective school. DC1 was OK in the earlier years of state primary but by year 3 had become intensely bored and was repeating the same things over and over, and starting to lose interest altogether. His writing has never been particularly good, but it was seen as sufficiently good at the school that the teacher never marked it or noted the (many) errors. The history and science teaching was also poor and despite being a curious child he showed no interest in either subject. He wasn't learning any languages or doing much music. All this has now changed.

I often think so many of these threads are about trying to see if there is a single state school out there that matches one of the mid-range independents (so the £16-£21k annual fees not Eton or Harrow etc). There sadly isn’t, because these schools have the teachers, the facilities and the money to offer a premier educational experience.

Everyone’s reasons for sending their kids privately is individual to that child. I send both mine for completely different reasons.

We are near one of the best state grammars in the country and I have a friend who sends one child there and one to our independent. It’s not possible to compare she said, it’s chalk and cheese as ultimately the Grammar is still a state school. It does well as it’s academically selective. But you can’t compare it to the all singing all dancing independent that offers everything and then some.

I often wonder if, with the bullying, it's just a case of whether you're lucky or not with your cohort, and perhaps neither you (presumably in admissions at a private school), nor I, should assume all state/private schools are the same. The nature of our roles means we're seeing the worst of things.

Re the SEN needs not being met, again, you're seeing people coming to you from the state sector, and I'm seeing them coming to me from the private sector. Either way, yes, it's sad when a private school, or a state school, can't meet those needs, but hopefully they do find what they need once they move.

Two of my GC go to a private secondary school, one on an academic scholarship.

What do they they out of it? - opportunities by the bucket load, especially musical ones. They sing in splendid choirs and play every day and have had the chance to travel the country, sharing their love of music. Even those who did not see themselves as musical are drawn in to all the joy it brings.

There is a sense that it is actually OK to want to study, whilst also recognising their need to have fun. The clubs and societies and experiences are legion.

And they are in small classes, so discipline problems simply do not happen - they get on with their work undisturbed.

And it is ethnically diverse, and socially. Lots of the children, including my own GSs, come from state primaries. And there are bursaries and scholarships, and outreach to state schools to share their opportunities.

Some of my other GC go to state schools, and the difference saddens me. I wish I had the money to give them all these opportunities. There are too many of them!

We have the opposite. My DS is only year 2, but we have had multiple kids join in the middle of the years due to needs not being met at local state schools and for bullying. Aged 7! It's so sad.

For me it was mainly class sizes and extra sports like swimming lessons every week since they were 2.5 at nursery, karate, skateboarding etc. Plus the wraparound care.

My daughter is very academic and a general all rounder in sports and arts.

She had excellent teachers (bar one) from Reception to Y4 who did an excellent job in stretching her etc and they all encouraged me to sit her for 11+ exams as they thought grammar/private would be the best fit for her.

By Y5 the ‘nerd’ jibes started and that teacher was either less capable or didn’t think extensions were important, so I thought, ‘why not’?

Actually put her forward for the 10+ exams for a local private school and she passed with flying colours (they said), so paid for her to do Y6 there, as by then she was no longer enjoying her primary school.

She excelled, loved the environment and all the extra curricular activities, so wanted to stay. Luckily she was awarded a 50% scholarship and full bursary for the remainder of the fees, so it was a no-brainer.

If not, grammar was the next option as even our once excellent Catholic secondary which was first choice for state school has descended into chaos. Our local secondary schools are really struggling with behaviour management, which is really affecting achievement.

We’re thankful everyday for the opportunity and I still think she’s in the right place for her.

If we don’t get the state schools that DD will be able to cope with (Due to her SEN) then she’ll be going to private.

We had intended to use state secondary, but her SEN limits possibilities if I don’t want a desperately unhappy school refuser, and on the stats, we’re very unlikely to get in where she will cope.

Additional benefits to private will be that (1) there is amazing sporting, musical and other wrap around provision (2) it’s academically ambitious so will meet her needs (3) they offer some subjects of significant interest to her which they wouldn’t at the state school (4) it’s a girls only school (5) the food is better!

On the down side (1) it’s less diverse (racially) - not homogeneous but the stats are not as great as her current school (2) she won’t be able to carry one with one of her extra curricular activities (3) the fees plus additional costs for trips etc mean budgeting is a must and (4) some of her friends may be a bit far flung.

We did private to 10 then homeschooled due to severe bullying. Going back to private for 6th form.

Reasons are - No decent 6th form colleges nearby that have good teaching in the area dd has chosen to focus on. The private school she's chosen has incredible teaching and facilities. Lots of amazing extra curricular activities too. Dd has a scholarship to go there.

I work in admissions in a state school. We often get applications from children at private boarding school who have been horrendously bullied and let down by their teachers, who seem unwilling to really tackle the bullying because, well, money talks. Also kids whose SEN needs are not met at private schools because the schools are selective and the needs didn't become apparent until the children had already started, and the schools are just not set up for it, or willing to deal with it.

These quiet, gentle children deserve better and they do get better at a much more inclusive state school.

Where we live is a posh, but urban, part of London. The local state secondary schools are pretty bad unless you are determined, confident and academically above average, DD is none of these. Local private schools are much smaller with generally good behaviour. DH and I both went to London private schools, why would we choose different for DD if we can afford it? We only had one to pay for as DS is severely autistic and has always been in special provision.

Secondary school was a bearpit and DD (ASD) desperately unhappy. Secondary tried really hard but they had to spend most of their time fire fighting.

Now in small nurturing private school (funded by grandparents) and she is so much happier although making good use of their excellent pastoral are to try and undo some of the damage caused by state school.

It's so sad that state schools are often so unable to meet the needs of kids resulting in chaos for all - I wish I knew what the answer was.

I have boys who were in a wonderful primary until year 3 but by that point they were bouncing off the walls with the lack of sport - their private school has sport every afternoon, with multiple teams available for selection (plus small class sizes and everything else), but for us the sport was the main issue - particularly as the local secondary also has v limited sports opportunities.

I don’t have kids in school yet but I was sent to private school because I was bullied in my state school and the teachers turned a blind eye. At my private school they didn’t tolerate bullying and really fostered a supportive atmosphere for pupils. I am so glad I was able to go there.