To ask why you send your children to private school?

Because he has ASD and just can't cope with a large state secondary school. The last state school he was at, were great and put plenty of adjustments in place, but he still didn't manage. He's in year 13 now and I think we might have to send his younger sister next year - she's year 7 and already starting to refuse to go. We can't afford more than one set of private school fees or I would move her now.

And there was guaranteed care before and after school with plenty of staff to ensure it didn't fall through
Small classes was a big draw - I didn't want DC struggling without being able to get help because of class size

Would I do it again? Maybe not from the start as I did but it's impossible to say how it would have panned out.

I payed £££ for full boarding at sixth form though which I have no regrets over at all

Dd with suspected SEN, and half of what makes school challenging disappeared when moved to private due to smaller class size, greater capacity and expectation for child specific adaptation, and far better behaviour that creates a calmer environment. We also get additional support (which we pay for), but which wouldn’t have been available at state. My dd has ‘mild’ Sen, which means not very disruptive and academically capable, but also meant she was white knuckling state school with very little support.

the other reason was the focus on holistic education rather than SATS. State school seemed to focus exclusively on getting children to pass SATS, while private is happy to move at a slower pace sometimes for phonics or math but always ensures time for hands on learning, physical movement and topical study that ignites children’s interest. Both DD LOVE school, which in itself makes it worthwhile for me - they are excited to go in each day, and disappointed if I try to collect them early (before after school clubs/care). School is definitely a joy for them, and not something they have to ‘endure’

Yes! I found that moving too, because OP is right.

Because I could afford it and it was just a nicer school.

For a good all round education and to be stretched and challenged.

This is lovely. I feel the same way.

Love the posts claiming ethnic diversity was a major reason for sending their kids to a private school 😂

Why? It's true. There are 2 schools in the village where I live - the primary school and the prep school. Primary - approx 3% non white British. Prep - approx 25-30% non white British (around 10% Indian, 10% Black, 5% South East Asian plus some Eastern European/Spanish/Australian/American/South African).

I didn't put it on my list because it's not one of the more common reasons we hear for children coming to us but it is a reason for a few. For some parents, having other children from their own children's race, culture or background is important to them.

Because the only offered state school was in chaos. Even Ofsted said it wasn't safe, that they had no idea who was on-site, 'that the younger pupils were at risk of sexual assault by the older ones'.

Plus DS is a 'maths head' and the state school only managed to get 41% of boys through GCSE maths which is appalling. How can 59% fail? It's only GCSE for heaven's sake.

DS wanted to go for a maths scholarship at the small local indie, I said he could try, and he was awarded it.

So I've spent every penny for the last 5 years, on (reduced) school fees. GCSEs in a few months, then A'levels. DS is happy and has turned into a lovely, kind, intelligent, confident young man. That alone makes it worth it.

@Mossstitch my DD15 who is at private school swears all the time - she thinks it's funny. DS18 who is at a state grammar school wouldn't dare swear in my presence.

Because they all got full scholarships and I swore when i had my first baby that they would never go to the local inner city comprehensive. If you had the misfortune to pass the school gates your ears were assaulted by every other word being the 'F' word! Not sure what i would have done if they hadn't have been academically bright...... home school or move i guess🤷
My youngest went at 6 and was the only white kid in his class so yes@Sausage77 they can be more ethnically diverse dependent on the area you live in.

I disagree with this. I have 4 DC. 2 have been/are going through the grammar system. They are single sex so DC2 had a different experience to DC 1. I absolutely can not fault DC2 school. She has had lots of opportunities for sport/music/drama etc, the academics are brilliant and overall behaviour is very good. She has the opportunity to go private for 6th form but honestly it does not offer her anything more than her current school so she is going to stay there.

DC3 is not as academic as the others. Our local school is poor, he has a mild learning need, loves sports which aren't offered and would generally just be ignored so we sent him privately. I am very pleased that we did.
DC4 will likely be offered a place at the same grammar as DC1 but we weren't impressed with that school at all so we will send them privately too.

@Sausage77 Another here! The local primary has no ethnic diversity whatsoever. My DS's private school has a complete mixture of ethnicities and faiths. (And, on the note of diversity, 1 of the kids in my son's year has 2 mummies, another has 2 daddies and I love that it is the norm for him - not that that's a private vs State difference, I just want him to grow up knowing we are all the same).

@Sausage77 my daughter's school is ethnically diverse - more so than would represent the local population by %. There are many languages spoken and lots of religions represented.

We were open to private or state. I was educated in the state sector, my husband in private schools. My own state primary was lovely.

There were three state primaries where we lived. One we loved but were told 50% of the intake would be siblings for our daughter's year so we had little chance of getting in. One was big and quite rambunctious and we had a bit of a fear of our young for the year and small daughter getting overlooked but we would have been happy with it. The third had just got "needs improvement" in its inspection and while we were visiting the school we saw one of the TAs push a child quite aggressively. If she would do that while there were visiting parents standing a few feet away what would go on behind closed doors? My daughter got allocated a place at the third school. So we threw money at it and put her on the waiting list for the local prep and fortunately got a place. I'd rather not have spent the money but the environment at her allocated school was bloody awful. It shouldn't be like that. I feel sorry for the families that got stuck with it.

@Sausage77 my girls school is very ethnically diverse. Many children from all over the world. All faiths represented. At least half of the students in their classes are people of colour.
It’s not economically diverse but it is very ethnically diverse.
This is in a fairly ordinary Home Counties town. Nothing special.

@LorlieS That’s excellent. But schools round here are particularly underfunded and we had to get her to secondary school.

Hard to say this without being a hit but she’s also able to the point of being weird and is really happy to be in a place where she’s not a freak

@Sausage77 what do you mean? We are Asian. At the outstanding State school my DC were the only Asians. Now in their Prep school there are children of all different ethnicities, some born here, some born abroad. Some here on a short term basis due to their parent’s work etc!

• Local state secondaries are terrible in terms of results, behaviour etc. Well below national average for results. 2,500 pupils etc. We don't live in an area with grammar schools so not an option.
• DC1 is neurodiverse. Smaller class sizes, smaller school size, more varied lessons etc. suit him better.
• More extracurriculars and nurturing of passions and skills
• Disappointment with support and nurturing a love of learning in state primary. I know why schools are in crisis and am very aware of what has led to this. But it wasn't working for us or our DC.

@Sausage77 Honestly don’t dismiss it! We live rurally and the private school is more than 10x more ethnically diverse than the local state.
it’s a simple fact that many of the kids in the local state are from families who’ve been here for generations, whilst the doctors at the local hospital, lawyers who moved out of the city and now work from home etc send their kids to the private. It might not be so socially diverse, but it’s considerably more diverse in terms of race/religion etc

We moved back to the Uk from abroad- long term expats. Small town. Could not get our kids into the local secondary or primary. No guarantee we could get them into schools near each other as they would have had to go to schools much further away. One of my DC is ADHD/ autistic- so we sent them to the local private school.

Our local state education from 9+ is not great. It’s currently in flux due to system changes and it’s real mess.
I love the ethos of my girls school. Pastoral care is excellent. Brilliant opportunities alongside a good academic offering. The sport available for my athletic youngest cannot be matched.
I feel it offers them all the tools to fulfil their potential. They’ve got to work for it but it’s there.
I feel very lucky we can afford to choose.

Because I went to the worlds crappest state school. And I mean bottom of league table stuff. I got through my gcses by being reasonably bright, not because I was well taught.

Got accepted at a selective (ex grammar) 6th form and the difference was astonishing. The calibre of the teaching, the desire for everyone to succeed in whatever way they were best at was eye opening.

Like night and day. For me it was academic achievement, self confidence and ambition. I was one of the lucky ones. I was one of 3 people from my state school year group of over 200 that went to university. That 6th from changed my life. It made me realise that lots of people I'd been to school with could have done just as well if we were not stuck in a terrible school.

I was the exception rather than the rule. I decided quite early on that if I was able I'd make damn sure my child didn't have to be lucky to get the opportunity to succeed.

What she does with her life is up to her. I just wanted to make sure she never missed out because the teachers were spending more time stopping kids beating each other up than they were inspiring and teaching.

Quite an extreme example, but it's how I experienced state school.

Much bigger range of subjects, activities, sport, music, drama. Proper behaviour policy which is enforced so teachers spend their time teaching not managing behaviour. Smaller class sizes so more attention for the kids. Prizing learning and teaching kids good habits for the future.

Because my DD was struggling at a very strict but well regarded (ofsted outstanding) state academy.

She lived in fear of accidentally breaking one of the hundreds of school rules and started having panic attacks regularly.

She became ill with a serious chronic condition that required lots of time off for hospital treatment and just generally made her feel rotten all of the time and that just didn't work with a state school's obsession with attendance at all costs.

She had no friends because she was considered an outsider for living out of catchment. The school was in a very deprived area with lots of social problems but we live a few miles away in an affluent area. She was teased for being the "rich" girl.

Her mental health was suffering terribly.

We knew about a private school that had a reputation for being a lovely calm and happy place so we transferred her there for the start of Y9 and she absolutely loves it. She's made loads of new friends and is really popular.

We'll be lucky if she gets a couple of low grade GCSEs due to a learning difficulty but at least her mental health is improving and the staff understand her health condition and make allowances