To ask why you send your children to private school?

@NotGoingToLie definitely ethnic, not financial. At least not at the prep school.

What kind of diversity? There are many measures of diversity. But saying private schools are more diverse to somehow justify your choice - and I don’t think anyone needs to do so - is a load of nonsense.

Will anyone be honest and say they just didn’t want their kids mixing with the riffraff? Lots of wide eyed comments about being stretched etc etc but plenty of people can’t contemplate their children having to rough it in a state school.

This needs to be challenged, and reported - the school has to act, and if they are not acting, this needs to be reported as well. It will only continue if people are not reporting it

Why? Around me the state provision is generally very white. Although we are too, the independent we are now in has massively increased ethnic diversity. I see that as a really positive thing and it's another small pull factor.

What? All the children at your local state are racist? That’s a bit of a stretch surely.

Wider range of extra curricular opportunities...sport, music, drama etc. Smaller classes. We have used state but post covid my bright but not the best, well behaved children were just overlooked. Behaviour had a also taken a downturn. We just wanted a lovely, nurturing environment where it is cool to try and be involved in loads of things. Sufficient academic push with a full emphasis on subjects beyond maths and English.

So my kids are currently in yr7. They are in the local school and doing well. But I've been offered the opportunity to put them into the private school I work in. 100% bursary. Of course I accepted. Its the extra curricular activities which have swung it for me. The sporting/language and drama opportunities are incredible.

I will admit one local private has a reputation for admitting “local, settled families” which obviously means white English. That actively put us off! We are white British but wanted more diversity.

Where I used to live, all state schools bar one were as white as the driven snow. Catchment areas and full rolls meant clear segregation.The local private was much much more ethnically diverse.

My sons state primary is really diverse thank goodness. Its also rated as outstanding. I actually have the opposite concern. There would be a lot less diversity at the local private prep. (I know because he has a friend there and ive talked to the dad). But this varies on area. Some private schools have a very diverse cohort
Ofcourse, he'll have extra curriculars on top and as a former teacher I can tutor him in my subject.

Do you find that funny in some way? It’s statistically true, and certainly in our experience the private school is much more diverse than the state offerings. Reality in our city (as in many) is that some areas are mostly white, some are mostly minority ethnic groups. When state schools recruit with a catchment area they obviously reflect the local population. Our private school takes kids from all over the city, it is much more diverse and that’s a positive for us.

Yes this is by far and away the most common way around - state just cannot cater for a huge majority with SEN. It shouldn’t be this way around, but it is. There is no capacity to give the attention some of these children require in state - which is illustrated by the fact private schools are named on EHCPs (and fees paid), by the government. Essentially accepting themselves that this is the case.

We looked around our state catchment and I came out in tears I was so deflated, it was clearly over crowded, under funded, the reception class had to share space with the dining hall which just seems to disruptive.
Looked at 2 other states and 3 private's. Fell in love with one of them and that's where they now go. You can just so clearly see and feel the attention they get, better funded, happy teachers, so much extra curricular activities and experiences , small class sizes, diverse, healthy meals. Just love it, want to give my children the best chance at everything in life x

Enjoyed rather than endured sums it up.

Even at a naice state primary, I had seen the issues of underfunding, rigid curriculum, gender stereotypes, unmet SEN, disruptive behaviour and lack of time and ability to teach sport, music and drama play out.

I had a choice of super selective grammar, Ofsted excellent local comp and private at secondary. I chose private, hoping for a broader curriculum, bespoke pastoral care, music/drama/sport encouraged for everyone no matter what their abilities, a calm atmosphere and academic excellence. And that’s what I’ve got.

I don’t send my child to private school but I wished I did. Dd is in year 1. Her primary is rated good and is in an affluent area. Parents of children in DDs year are mostly middle class, educated and successful - lawyers, teachers, doctors. This is a gradual shift from a more working class catchment. The school has a nice ethos, and is diverse and international (we live in a large city). On paper it seemed pretty good. In reality I’ve been surprised at just how bad things are. The building is cramped and shabby, teaching seems very, very focused on curriculum tick boxes, classroom is chaotic. My DD is bored.

if we’d stuck to one child I would have gone private in a heartbeat. Unfortunately we can’t afford to send two children. DS nursery costs £18k a year at the moment. we’ll reconsider for secondary, as hopefully will have saved the money and be mortgage free by then.

High functioning autism. Distraught child begging to be allowed to sit and work in the corridor away from the chaos in the classroom.
Came home from first day at new school over the moon that the children sat facing the teacher and there was no shouting, throwing or running around in class. As it should be IMO. I resent having to pay so much for it.

Our local state school is loud and chaotic. The teachers are reactive and regularly leave so there are lots of supply teachers. This is not an assumption - I have a child there.

The private school is calm, has high expectations, is supportive, has lots of sport, it is more like the fabulous state school I went to than the current state school offering,

I stretch to pay for the nicer education for those of my children who can/want to access it because I want them to be calm and happy at school and able to achieve whatever they're capable of,

I have no regrets about the private school at all. I worry endlessly about the child I have in the state system but don't know how to change the situation.

No one in our family has ever been privately educated, and we had no thought of it until our dd started at our local primary and I looked at secondary options . Nearest one was 'failing' with only 37% of kids getting 5 GCSEs. Other ones were an hour's journey each way. My dd was on the G&T list in her primary school, so she went to a selective independent school 15 mins away. She later got three scholarships and a huge bursary. We paid less than third of the regular fees and couldn't have done it without the reductions. Now at RG uni. No regrets.

my dear son in law was severely traumatized by his educational experiences in the 1990's. state school with horrendous disruption (chair throwing, windows open and kids sitting on the window ledges, teachers screaming etc.) low expectations, poor opportunities, bullying.

subsequently he swore to never send his kids to state school.
it's not about grades or outcomes it's about a pleasant nice atmosphere with kind students and staff.
although schools have changed since 90's manchester, he is simply not willing to try state including the grammar system.

Dd is autistic and situationally mute, but is bright and very well behaved. She was horribly bullied at primary school, and our local secondaries are very large and haven’t got great reputations for pastoral care etc. She’s thriving in a very small independent school, where she gets more time on the creative subjects she really excels at - in our catchment state secondary, they get to do art only one term a year (and also music and drama - they rotate). I was very lucky to inherit the equivalent of two years’ school fees from a relative, we have a small house bought 17 years ago have paid off the mortgage, so really we’re choosing private school over moving to a bigger house. Some of the mums from her primary class got really snarky with me saying how lucky we are to be able to afford it - we are, but some of them have recently bought big houses more than twice the current value of ours and don’t realise how hard we’ve worked to save and economise.

Early years it was definitely the wrap around care at no extra cost that was a big draw, but first and foremost was the feel of the school. Very outdoors, sports, academically selective everything our local village school wasn’t. DS’s year at the local school was extremely top heavy with girls and they mixed years, so although advertised as small class size they actually taught two years at a time so 1 to 30 ratio.
DS had a choice at senior level, he had friends at the local state and it would have been a good fit, he could also have gone back to private at 6th form but the sports provision was poor.
DS loved school, although the pandemic had a negative impact, school provided full curriculum online but DS missed being in school.
Throughout he never once refused school or tried to pull a sicky. In fact on the rare occasion he had to have time off sick he would moan. He has a strong group of friends, and I suspect they will be friends for life. There is a strong alumni that encourages networking, something that is evident as they reach 6th form.

I’m an American, in the US, so apologies in advance if any terminology is unfamiliar.

Our kids go to the local Catholic elementary so they can have a religious education, and because the class sizes are smaller. Also, while it has a large minority of children from immigrant families, they all speak English; the young children from immigrant families who go to the nearby public schools generally don’t speak English well, and require a lot of extra time and energy from the teachers because of that. A lot of people have pulled their kids from the public schools because it’s very hard for kids to get individual attention if they speak English fluently and don’t have a disability. The teachers are only human, and time is a finite resource.

We really like the size of the Catholic school. There are two classes per grade and the teachers know who all the kids are, even if they haven’t personally taught them.