To ask why you send your children to private school?

That's not my experience of the private school kids in my area, they're definitely not more innocent!

My year 4 son is in our local state primary. There are 38 kids in his class. They are so awful they made their teacher cry. My son is academic and you bet your bottom dollar I'll be moving heaven amd earth to get him into a privafe secondary!

Why is diversity a thing? I live in a white middle class area so I expect the children at the school to be of that demographic without panicking about it?

Nicer better behaved children. Smaller classes. Much kess disruption. Higher expectations. Lovely setting with lots of grounds to play on.

The way children speak and behave in private school is a world apart. The atmosphere is quiet and calm, the teachers can just teach.

The children stay younger and more innocent much longer. The teens tend to prefer sport, gardening, reading to "looking cool"

Academic success is celebrated not considered geeky.

It's generally a higher quality way of life and produces children that are polite, well ehsved, well educated not just academically but in soft skills too.

DH and I went to private prep and secondary so it just made sense to us/we knew and understood the system and had good experiences

We have a daughter in a single sex prep. For us, the local primary is good but my daughter is so like me and I know where I would have been happier when I was a kid. She is very introverted and possibly a bit autistic or ADD (as I suspect I am) and we feel that in a single sex space with smaller class sizes she has more time to shine, gain confidence and not be afraid to speak up in class.

I am actually more invested in her attending the senior school (it's an all through school) as I really do not want her at a mixed sex school at that age. There are no single sex state schools around here so private is the only way. If she has problems there will bullying or anything like that then we would most likely move her to the local high school (although none of the high schools around here are very good).

Aside from the single sex issue, the school is very friendly and nurturing. It's not a fancy school or one that does particularly well academically, but it gets the most out of the girls and really helps them individually. It's a far cry from the absolutely awful state high I went to, which I wouldn't wish on any child. That school had no interest in anything other than getting a certain percentage of C grades, no interest in making us rounded individuals, no extra curricular's at all, no sports teams, no educational school trips, no career guidance, no opportunities for leadership etc etc. I just think those are basic things that every school should be doing!

Not me but a good friend has 2 in state and 1 in private. The one in private is there because she’s been failed by the NHS. For love nor money could she get a diagnosis or help with blatant SEN. She can’t even get on a list for a private kids mental health as waiting list is nuts. She put the 1 DC in private school because the school and classes were smaller. They were academically able but the school the siblings go to was very large and she wouldn’t have coped. Friend and her DH work a lot of hours to keep DC there and are very worried about any sudden large rise in cost.

I have 1 DC in state and another in private, simply because we took a chance on the test and one got in. The other didn’t but isn’t fussed and goes to a state school many of mates go to. We’re also annoyed with a sudden large jump in fees. You kind of plan for a 2%ish increase a year, not 20% in one year!

There are families really panicking about Labours plans. There are several who are from immigrant backgrounds with 1 child and you can see the’ve thrown everything at that child, catching the bus, no flash cars etc. it’s not exactly an Eton top hat type situation.

Labour are bonkers to progress an immediate implementation without a full impact analysis and a timetable spanning their term in office so people have time to make alternative choices. E.g if their kids are in private primary, they don’t send their kids to secondary private. This will prevent children having to be removed during GCSE years for example as they’ll know they won’t be able to afford the full secondary years with the 20% uplift.

It will also mean local state school can plan and maybe create additional classes to accommodate.

Class sizes and the general feel of the school. DD attends a small, non selective independent with a family feel. Less than 300 kids in total from kindergarten to year 11. She knows everyone and they know her. She is thriving.

Selective education. Sad but true. Would prefer selective state education but not available where we live. Younger DC not academically advanced in the same way as our older child so would in fact probably not have picked it for them. But by that point we were committed and it seemed unfair not to.

Our non selective State Option is bad, so bad a teacher that worked there told me not to send DD and it reinforced what I had heard and what I had seen too.
She was offered a Grammar Place but the Grammar was quite a distance away and she was also offered a 25% Scholarship at a Private school I knew quite well that is very very close to us. DS followed her there.
I am actually a Governor at The State one now and while there are some great staff and kids trying really hard they are so underfunded and trying to deal with so many kids with difficulties I have to say it makes me glad we had another option.
DH was anti Private school, he went to an excellent Comprehensive and assumed they were all similar. It wasn't until we started looking at Private and State options for DD that he changed his mind.
Moving house would have cost us more and been more disruptive - we actually live in a really nice area but are a bit of a postcode anomaly, catchment for a better State school stops at the top of our road, lots of building pushed us out but when we moved here we probably would have got that school.

Yes. This is why we use private school.

I know this might come as a shock to some, but what happens overall in London isn't necessarily representative of what happens in individual schools in all areas of the country. The diversity in my child's school wasn't the primary driving factor, but it was one of a number of pull factors. I can assure you it has far greater ethnic diversity than all the local state options.

The latter! 😬

Same for us. Son was in state until age 7 too, he had some needs but was otherwise quiet and well behaved so he was continuously ignored and just not helped. Moving him to private was never in our plan but has helped massively.

Interestingly, we decided to send our younger son to the same private school from the start and he is excelling

It was never our plan, state schools are really struggling with under funding

@Herewegoagain84 the former or the latter?! 😂

Yes, and those are the ones that tend to be the crappiest academically, but have the most manicured grounds / regular ski trips etc… one immediately comes to mind!

Before you do, please look up how the Welsh education system is doing under Labour control. Standards are the lowest in the UK and falling faster.

Labour have also just cut funding to education further here but seem to have plenty to spend where it suits them.

My DS went to our local , OFSTED rating outstanding state primary school . DH and I were happy , DS settled in well and loved it.

PIL then decided within a month of DS starting reception he would go to private school. DH agreed. This was never discussed with me.

MIL yelling at me " she wants the best for ds"
Private school info being sent by them to DH and PIL arranged visits to said private schools .

DH sided with his parents, saying if ds stayed in state he would end up "being thick like me"

I refused to take ds out of his primary despite the yelling by DH and PIL.

The compromise being he would go to private secondary school.

He's now 11 and in private school . Thankfully he loves it .

PIL said they would pay fees . Small print being only for 18 months .

Sigh

@Stickystickystick i think people don’t understand the levels of private school. A friend of mine in London said you have the private schools that some doctors and lawyers can afford then you have the private schools that the likes of Simon Cowell send their kids too!

I think it's important to remember the different tiers of private school. I know people who have a view they are all like Eton. I work in a sector where the majority of people send their children to state and I don't discuss we have sent our eldest to a private school as I know a lot of people have strong views on private schools. My other child will also attend private in secondary. We are lucky to have this option due to an inheritance gift. However with a VAT we might not be able to afford it. I know there is some disagreement about private schools being more diverse. My child's school is most definitely more diverse than our local secondaries. The emphasis on sport for my sporty child has been amazing. There is so much opportunity and the facilities are second to none. I have friends who are having a lot of trouble with their children due to the disruption in class. The behaviour is definitely better at my child's school although I know this won't be the case in every school. It's co-ed which is something I felt strongly about. Having not being that bothered about sending my child private, now he is there I would do anything to keep him there. He's so happy.

I agree with this. I went to a terrible state school but it wasn’t because of the teaching quality (pretty high) or the facilities or anything else. It was down to one thing only and that was some of the kids there (senior, all girls) were some of the worst people I’ve ever had the misfortune to cross paths with. Vile, spiteful, ignorant and a whole lot more. I can only think their parents were the same, as were theirs and so it goes on. (My kids went to private seniors up until 6th form then 6th form state college ).

Funny you think it's fine when it won't and didn't affect you

100% for us.

Every state secondary we're in catchment for are very sub-par.

3 bed where we are - looking at right move today are around £625k.

Equivalent in the catchment for selective/decent state are £850k.

7 years of school fees are substantially cheaper. DD got a scholarship and bursary so brings it down by a decent % too.

I would love to send my DC to private school, my reasons being;

.smaller class sizes
.better resources, sports equipment, etc
.emphasis on work ethic and academic achievement rather than DC being picked on for being brainy
.a sense of pride in their school and belonging to a nice school community - I went to a crap comp and have always been ashamed of it, never felt proud of my school
.DC mixing with other children from similar families to ours - note how I’m not saying people exactly like us, I welcome diversity, but want my DC to mix with families who value education and have high standards
.opportunities available to my DC that I never had

Both DH and I went to shitty comprehensive schools in poor areas of the north. We couldn’t wait to leave. I have always wanted better for my children, and we are looking at every possible scenario to try and afford private school for our two.

I think the issue is thinking that all private school parents are the same.

If you are paying fees through inherited wealth or via GP then additional VAT may well be affordable and arguably reasonable as wealth taxes are low.

However if you are paying the fees using PAYE income you are already being taxed at punishing rates up to 62% on your income.

The question is not so much about affordability but about fairness.

When you have income tax rates that encourage higher earners to earn less then you know you have a problem.

There needs to be an overhaul of the tax system to better consider how wealth as well as income is treated.