Manager saw my Teams message - AIBU

You clearly did not take on board the comments after your interview and instead felt they should have contravened their own hr policies to give you the job - you are now acting immature and unprofessional and demonstrating to them they made the right decision because you are not ready.
It seems like your workplace is happy with your work and want you to move forward - I hope you now, after reading the responses on Mumsnet, give your head a wobble and find out what you can do differently for next time rather than blaming your failure on other people.

I think you demonstrated why you are not ready yet for the next level. It’s not just about doing your job well as you progress you need management qualities and you maybe you have some but you are lacking growth mindset.

You are being very unreasonable. Interviews are not a popularity contest.

It is very frustrating to interview someone who you really think could be a good fit for a role and they interview poorly.

You have first had knowledge of their work and they response to questions with poor examples and you know they have 20 better examples or aren't giving themselves credit for their work.

Fair interviewers cannot and shouldn't compensate for people who interview poorly. It says a lot about done one's judgment & ability to article important matters when an interview goes poorly. These are often skills that are required fir a step up.

Do you really think people interview candidates just for fun or because they think they might fit the role?

This one is on you. And also, tip for future, interviews watch the response of the unsuccessful candidates too & hugely admire those who take the disappointment with good grace & work on it & get on with their job. When people throw their toys out of the pram, it really is noticed and their behaviour casts doubt over their professionalism.

YABU.

Did you ask for specific feedback from the interview on what you can work on to improve or did you just assume what you wrote to your colleague?

You’re scored in your performance at interview, that’s the only way to make it fair.
You didn’t do as well as the other guy.
Its unfair on your manager, who it sounds likes and respects you to make out you didn’t get the job for any other reason.

If I was her, I'd think my decision was right.

Your manager probably seems a bit down because she saw you insult her professionalism.

It just comes across as a bit woe is me, sulky child and as if you really do not grasp the concept of workplace feedback. I'd reconsider the whole situation if I were you.

Just to add, I’m not saying that’s the right attitude for an employer to have at all. But it’s work. It will always be about productivity and what’s best for the business (and likely ensuring an easy life for the manager) in their eyes.

I’m not sure if it’s so much that it was a popularity contest or that your face didn’t fit in the previous opening instance.

You say that you do your job well and go above and beyond. Whilst no employer will likely admit this publicly, if they have someone in a role who does the job well and them changing roles would likely mean a crucial gap in service and/or mean struggling to recruit a good fit into the then vacant position, what is their motivation for promoting that person?

I replied that interviews are a popularity contest and that people employ people they think they can best work with, and as long as they've got the basic skill-set they can make it work

I think you've misinterpreted the whole affair, tbh.

They've already said that they know you can do the job, but it would contravene every principle of good recruitment practice and equal opportunities to just give you the job on that basis.

They've also said that they were disappointed, which says to me that your performance at interview was nowhere near as good as they expected. This suggests that they wanted to give you the job, but that your interview didn't meet the threshold at which you could be appointed, or that another candidate gave such an outstanding interview that they had to appoint them.

I assume the recruitment info included a list of skills and attributes that they required. When you prepare for an interview, you should be forearmed with answers and examples that evidence that you meet the required standard and have the qualities they need.

If you don't, you'll lose out to someone else, every time. What they already kbnow about you counts for nothing. Rightly so, imo, otherwise anyone they didn't know beforehand would be disadvantaged.

I take from this you don’t take rejection well. And refuse to accept the other person would have performed better at interview and is several banding’s above you for a reason. You then spread that dissatisfaction to your team mates.

personally id find you immature and it would solidify my thoughts you were not ready for the job.

It sounds like you have the right skills and knowledge for the job, but failed to show that in your interview, so the job went to the candidate who did show those things. It's got nothing to do with it being a popularity contest - being good in interviews is a skill like any other. It may be that it's something you have to work at more than others, that's all.

You also need to be really careful what you say on company communication like Teams - always remember that anything could be being recorded at any time. Some things are best left for out of work discussions or at least, discussions that aren't happening on a computer.

Agree with @purplemunkey that's there's a good lesson about communications here. I was once given the advice that you should never write anything in an email that you wouldn't want to see on the front page of a national newspaper, and I think the same thing applies to Teams.

I agree with everyone else.

I also would be more cautious about what you say on Teams. It’s a company communication channel - you should be happy that anything you write there, or in an email, could be read by anyone in the company.

With that attitude you are clearly not management material and they made the right choice.

Ah OP you are being very childish.

Your manager is supportive and told you she wanted to give you the job, however you interviewed badly in some sections.

A mature response would have been to ask which bits went wrong and to have worked on them, ideally asking for mentoring and feedback, so you were fully prepared for the next time.

An attitude like this is going to see you absolutely stuck and getting nowhere in life.

Go and see your manager on Monday, say you were having a bad day, ask for feedback and try and get some help to prep.

Self pity is self destructive and it’s really really unattractive

"I replied that interviews are a popularity contest and that people employ people they think they can best work with, and as long as they've got the basic skill-set they can make it work."

But this is the opposite of the outcome of your interview. They acknowledged you have more than the basic skill set, and they acknowledged that they know you well. You didn't get the job because you interviewed badly. Usually the person who gets the job is the person who interviews best (regardless of who has the most experience or fitting face). Instead of wallowing in a huff, why not ask your manager or anyone else (one of the others on the panel?) to give you some interview coaching, so that you can do better next time and progress your career in the way you want to.

I agree with PP. With regards to your manager she's probably sad that your confidence has been knocked

Agree with all the above. Reducing bias in interviews is really important and most organisations operate a point scoring and weighting system.

Its hugely frustrating as a manager when an employee you know and love misses the mark - literally!

I’d feel really disappointed if I was your manager and read what you wrote. I’d have an open conversation with her.

I’d do a bit of self reflection on your reaction to the feedback - it is a natural response to think it’s them not me (but not always the right one).

I agree with this. I interview both internal and external candidates for roles and we're given specific question sets and mark schemes for them. I've had experiences where I am literally trying to coax good answers out of people who I know have LOADS of relevant experience and really specific work-related examples for questions I'm asking and they're just not doing it. I can't score someone badly on an interview and offer them the role anyway.

It sounds to me like you were given feedback that you've not really acted on. We're very clear what we're looking for in answers to competency based questions - I want to know what the issue was, what you did, how it resolved the issue and what the outcome was. This might not be the case for your interviews but think about what they asked you and how you can improve on the answers you gave for next time around.

You have the ability to progress from the sound of it. But you need to work on performing well at interview. Don't let this setback put you off but see what you can learn from it. Apply for another secondment and give it your best shot.
If you have a good enough relationship with your line manager then maybe you could talk about your disappointment and your future aspirations and get some tips.

yes, agree with the others sorry. It would have been completely unfair if you'd interviewed poorly and the other candidate really well, but they gave it to you anyway because they "know you" and not her and because you go to work socials! That sort of thing is exactly what interview matrixes were invented for, and, ironically, exactly the sort of thing you are complaining about happening with people being chosen for personality rather than how they actually performed (except this time it didn't work in your favour!).

You need to accept you had a poor interview and work on those skills, not moan and complain, it really doesn't make you look good. How many of your direct managers got their jobs the very first time they interviewed for them?

Although saying that it wasn't great for your manager to have been reading a staff member's private conversation over their shoulder - for her to have read that much doesn't sound like it was an accidental quick glance at one message but deliberately reading a whole conversation. That is if your colleague is right that she did read it, and you're right in interpreting her 'disappointed look' at being anything to do with you - you could both be completely wrong on this and she's unhappy because she's had an argument with her partner!

This, tbh. They were clearly telling you that they found interviewing you frustrating because they have seen you day to day and know that you know your stuff, but that you didn't demonstrate that during your interview so they couldn't give you the job.

This is a you problem, not a them problem.

I doubt your boss is going to hold this against you, she is professional, so isn't going to take it personally - however she is entitled to feel disappointed on a professional level about YOUR lack of professionalism. Not only discussing this on teams, but the way you are blaming everything and everybody else for your poor interview performance, rather than accepting impartial criticism and trying to improve

Were you given any feedback about actually answering questions in the interview? It sounds more like that was the issue rather than you not being right for the job. Was it a competency interview? Did you use the STAR approach for answering the questions?