Really Annoyed This Morning ...

The comments here make it very clear there is a huge imbalance of the workload between men and women and sadly far too many women suck it up
He wears the clothes
He eats the food
He lives in the home
They are his children make him do more we are not their mammys they are grown ass adults it's about time they acted like it far too many women go on like a man doing the absolute bare minimum is him being the best hubby ever ffs get a back bone this isn't t 1930s

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Fair enough @MrsToriCostner but you surely wouldn't put machine on with just one wet bedsheet in? He was probably thinking all the dirty clothes for that day need gathering up from laundry baskets round the house so a full load can go on? I personally wouldn't put the machine on when it was practically empty. I imagine if he's rushing out of the door he didn't have time to finish this task? Agree he shouldn't have left a wet bedsheet on bedroom floor though - that's gross. Either straight in the machine or at least dump it in the bath/shower so the wee doesn't soak in to the carpet. I was a SAHP for 19 years so I do appreciate how hard the mornings are getting 2 kids ready for school. Maybe no TV til kids are dressed? Mine always came down fully dressed for school & had breakfast/cleaned teeth before tv was turned on.

Go back to work, split the house work and dont baby your adult husband

I would have a good chat with you husband. There's no reason the TV should be on in the morning. Make some new rules.
No pots upstairs except 1 drink bottle for water.
No TV in the morning.
Children need to be washed, teeth brushed and dressed befor coming downstairs.
Husband can sort their breakfast while he makes his own lunch.
Meanwhile, you can sort washing, make the beds ECT and get yourself ready before you start the school run and husband leaves for work.
That's how we do it. I have a 5 year old and just turned 1 year old.
Get school clothes out ready the night before and put at the end of the bed. Get as much ready as possible for the next day and make sure everyone is up in plenty of time so the morning is less stressful.

Don’t need to tidy up before school run. Just leave it.
Don't make your DH lunch unless it can be done when kids at school.
No Tv until dressed, that’s only focus.
Once kids at school come home and get washing machine on, dishwasher on.

You are having a bad day.
So change how you do things.
If its not in wash basket don't wash it.
Don't ask for dirty plates & cups etc, if they are not brought to you do not clean them.
DH can make own lunch they are not your child.
Stop shouting, try speaking quieter so then they have to make an effort to listen.
Lay out clothes the night before make life easier.
No tv in morning until the kids are ready.
Tell DH if you make meal he does dishes.

Return of the penis beaker

It’s ‘dishes’ in the north east. ‘Pots’ in the north west.. We’re just very idiosyncratic in the edgy north..

Exactly. It’s all about the mental load. You’re not his mum. He lives there too and should look at the mess and say to himself that needs sorting before I go up … and do it.

Every time he leaves his dirty socks/clothing on the floor - kick it into a corner or under the bed. He’ll soon wonder why he hasn’t clean socks/clothing. If he asks, just say -“I’ve washed everything in the washing basket - whatever do you mean”?
🥰🤞. When my 2dc were little the WiFi was switched off - no tv before school … it was hard enough getting them and myself ready - without DS standing around naked with one sock on staring at the tv 🤣🤣🤣

You are adults. Sort it out. Your kids don’t need to be going to school stressed after hearing you rowing about pots and who should be doing the washing up. I’ve worked in a school - trust me, kids are sensitive and are taking it all in and are taking it to heart. Not a good start to their day of learning.

You and your husband need to sit down and sort things out. He needs to take responsibility. He’s not your 3rd child.

Parent your kids - no child needs to be looking at the tv in the morning. I’d be more sympathetic if you said they were reading a book, or learning spellings. TV? No

Why would you be 'very surprised'? Are you normally so easily startled?

No tv until ready to leave, hide the remote if you have to. Call a family meeting, discuss what went wrong this morning, and introduce the new rule.

Leave dhs stuff where he drops it, he can clear it.

Let him do his own lunch.

I did read the whole thread…I found your comment I quoted unhelpful and nasty, comparing what you can do. So I quoted it…and responded to it. Because it is not a competition.

Sounds normal to me in a busy household. Why ‘pots’ in inverted commas? 🤷‍♀️

lol. Read the whole thread!

@innerdesign You're confusing SAHM with skivvy. Don't feel bad, a lot of people make the same mistake.

We make our own packed lunches but if I was a sahm I wouldn't mind really but my DH would still make his own. X

When i was working pt after maternity leave I did say to dh the days I'm off, just leave the housework and I'll do it. Think this is fair, yes I will pick up the mess from a weekend when I'm off on Monday and blitz the house, then my next day off Tuesday do the shopping and run errands for my elderly parent and another family member who needs help. The rest of the week when I'm working I expect equal share, which we do with DC and house stuff. Xx

Do you genuinely never take a glass of water up to bed or enjoy a cup of tea/coffee up there in the morning?

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos well I appear to have touched a nerve so I'll leave it there.

There should be no pot/dishes/silverware upstairs at all… It’s either in the kitchen or in the dining room.

Time to set some really hard fucking boundaries with the family

Hey, I’m sorry to hear that you had such a hard struggle this morning… Have you considered that your children are not allowed to watch any tablets/iPhone/television in the morning before they go to school?

That would probably help them in their concentration levels. And if they need to goof off, they can play in their room and then tell them at next time you’re gonna call them down and expect them to bring their clothes to get dressed.

Now that is only if you meant that your seven-year-old was on tablet/TV… The two-year-old. I can imagine they’re still still not going to school :-)