A pet peeve: Having your photo taken when you'd rather not!

I think it's become pretty socially normal to ask if you're going to post any photo of someone on SM before you do. Or at least with everyone I know.

No one is stopping anyone taking and sharing photos. Just asking for a heads up so they can duck out if they are not comfortable. It seems a bit of a stretch to say people can stay home if they don’t like it!

Ha! Why their noses?
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Ha ha, I don't know, perhaps they think Elon Musk is using face recognition software to trace their every move

Maybe it interferes with facial recognition software. Seriously that link I posted above to Pimeyes is really freaky. It is advanced facial recognition software where they have created a database of all publicly open images. Basically it means that you can take a picture of a person in the street, upload it and most of the time you will be able to work out who it is.

The exceptions are if that person has zero publicly accessible images of themselves on the internet which is unusual for most people not in the armed forces or elderly. Or if the image you are using to search isn't good/clear enough.

If you've not searched yourself on it, I'd give it a try because unless you have no images of you online, you will be quite shocked. It literally picks up people in the back of photographs that you may not even known were online.

You may think it doesn't matter and some people may not care, but if (eg) you get photographed have an embarrassing incident in public or get filmed having a row with a rude waiter or something, if you are identifiable on PimEyes you will be identifiable. There is no real privacy any more.

Ha ha, I don't know, perhaps they think Elon Musk is using face recognition software to trace their every move 🤣🤣

I really agree with RawBloomers here. You don't have a 'right' to not have your image in the world, if you are in the world, although there's no need for people to be ungracious about your preferences.

No your not being unreasonable, I totally get where you are coming from! I hate getting my photo taken & as for selfies it's a no from moi! Esp when my friends & family want it plastered all over their Facebook page & I just cringe saying no, I don't want my mug shot on their page lol. Seriously though I hate it with a passion & I'm just not the photogenic type & find flaws with every photo that's taken of me! Some love the camera & some shy away from it & that's not a bad thing, it's just it is either a natural thing or it's not!

UANBU - I hate it. It's rude and intrusive and just really, really annoying.

People who don’t want their photograph on the internet are entitled to their privacy. YABU. I’m glad I don’t know you. Yes, people I know, know what I look like. However, I’m not into everyone on someone else’s social media having access to my information - where I’ve been for instance. If I want my photo on social media I will put it there I don’t but some idiot posting it for me? I’d be furious.

The right to choose privacy trumps other people's right to unlimited social media posting.

I really disagree with this. Because it isn’t a matter of choosing privacy. It’s a matter of filtering the world’s view of you. And if you aren’t the way you want to be viewed, I don’t think you have a right to prevent other from showing you as you are.

I don’t mean that it’s good for society or at all okay to deliberately try and catch someone looking awful and then promote that nastily on social media. But simply posting candid shots from non-private activities/places that sometimes catch someone not looking their best is not something that someone should get to just stop from happening.

People keep bemoaning social media and insta gram and the pressure to look fabulous because of all the filters and other alterations to photos that are posted. But all these objections to having candid photos out in the world are part of that skimming of reality that alters what people perceive as normal.

If people can’t photograph and post what they see. If they have to allow everyone to filter out all the things they individually don’t want the world to know about them, we will have even less of a record of reality, and even more of a filtered, sanitized view that feeds in to anxiety, insecurity and a pressure to put excessive time and effort into looks.

You don't have to hand out permission slips(!) but it takes one minute to at least say 'I'm about to take a photo; anyone who doesn't want their picture posted should get out of view.' That would also alert people who don't mind having a pic posted as such, but would like to make sure they look respectable and not too 'candid camera'.

The right to choose privacy trumps other people's right to unlimited social media posting.

Oh wow, I made a typo, I will be forever ashamed.
You've still not answered my original question though.

Again, on the spelling,

???

Oh well done. A typo spotted. Congratulations.

Still not answered the question though we all note! LOL.

I hate it too, one of my really good friends is a nightmare for it. We can't go anywhere without her shoving her phone in my face to take a selfie, I don't mind the odd one or 2 selfies but it's the "oh we look awful on that one, lets take another!" that annoys me and 9 times out of 10 she always posts the one where she looks flawless and I don't!

Well, @WigsNGowns , you're the one not succeeding in finding the Vote button on mumsnet, so it's my turn to 'accuse' you of being male.

This makes no sense.

Also the use of the word accuse in that sentence with inverted commas is downright perculiar.

Seriously, what's the relevance of gender to this discussion?! You should work for GB News, WigsNGowns.

It's not so much relevance to the discussion as relevance to the forum. The forum is Mumsnet -a predominantly female based forum. Your posts are odd as others have identified including those suspecting you of being a journalist. There is a general presumption that a poster is female and those who are male usually identify themselves as such for that reason. To be open, frank and transparent with other posters.

The fact that you don't even grasp the relevance of your gender adds grist to this particular mill.

I think the fact that you have adopted such a defensive attitude and your comment about GB News means that I am right. I think you are a man.

YANBU I can’t stand it and I’m so glad my teens/early 20s were at a time when this wasn’t a thing.

No facility for me to vote either (should I want to).

The OP is a bit weird, with the voting encouragements, planning to write more "later", and evasive answers. Maybe some weird motivation, definitely not understanding technical reality and dynamics of this forum.

@BeenThere0
@Wasbedeudetetdas , you'll find that the correct spelling is "feisty" (not 'fiesty'). You wanna bet?? :)

You didn't answer my question. You are male aren't you?

The poll isn't displaying for me despite your helpful instruction to me to look carefully!

and @Wasbedeudetetdas yes.

I agree that there’s a weird vibe to the OPs questions. The repeated request to ‘please do cast your vote and give your reasons’ is strange.

I am very sensitive about how awful I look in photos. Very different from what I see in the mirror !I have asked friends to remove my pictures off SM and they have been fine about it .

ARGH YANBU @BeenThere0 I HATE it. Don't mind having my pic taken if I know it's coming! But not when I am not looking. And yes to people putting photographs on facebook of you that you didn't know were being taken!!! Or NO to it rather!!!

My older DD's photographer took about 400 photos on her (12 hour) wedding day, and some were when people weren't looking/were just socialising together/ laughing/ drinking/ dancing.

Whilst many of the 50 or so with me on, were quite nice or OK (as they were 'posed' ones,) she managed to get a few that were taken when I wasn't looking - and a few of them were taken from the side. The sideways on ones were HORRIFIC! 😱 I looked all fat and horrid and double-chinny. GRIM! 💀 All 100 guests had the link to all 400 photos, and we could choose what we wanted - to print. 'I thought oh fucking hell I look vile on about 8 of these pics!'

But then I remembered that no-one gave a shit, and were just looking at/looking for photos of themselves, and the bride and groom and bridesmaids and best man etc.. And most were just interested in the 'posed' ones. A few dozen of our family - the groom's family, and some photos with both families, and some photos of DD and her DH with their 25 combined friends.

DH used to be a fucking demon for snapping me when I wasn't looking/wasn't ready for it, and it drove me MAD. He said 'but you look cute!' I DID NOT! I looked like a fucking sea monster! (Well, to me anyway!)

I look so much better made up/hair nice/decent clothes, and ready for the pic. Funny how the 'posed' and 'not posed/don't know it's being taken' photos make me look so different! I have come to the conclusion that I must look somewhere in the middle! Not hideous, not a glamour model!

"What isn't fine is for people to just assume that it's fine to post pictures of people on social media without asking permission. "

I'm not handing out permission slips to 20 people when I go out.