Found out man am dating was previously arrested

@TheShellBeach is right

You need a safe ending. You need to tell him, there must be no room for negotiation or discussion.

One of my daughters had a boyfriend who gave her the crazy ex story. She believed him.

Right up to the time he beat her black and blue.

He's already lied to you about this - on the phone before he admitted it in person, when his body language gave him away.
He's still lying.

He has had depression following ending of previous relationship so am conscious will need to navigate an ending with his mental health in mind

I'd bet my house that he is just saying he had depression to make you sorry for him.

And to try to stop you from finishing with him.

You owe this man nothing.

No you absolutely do not this is part of pulling you in

Tell him by text I am not interested in continuing this relationship please do not contact me as I have nothing more to say then block

you own him nothing at all you it to yourself to keep yourself safe

so am conscious will need to navigate an ending with his mental health in mind as he regularly says he doesnt want to lose me when i suggest perhaps he needs more time to heal from previous relationship.

This set alarm bells ringing for me, over and above the fact you were with someone where you felt you had to ask the initial question (and the fact he lied to you). Its sounding worse and worse.

Please don't feel you need to tailor your behavior to fit whatever issues he may/may not have. This SCREAMS manipulation to me. If you think you should walk away, just walk away. Do not allow him to dictate what you do. Just leave. Don't look back. He is not your problem unless you allow him to be.

@wishingyouwell I think I would be concerned that he has lied about it before and then decided to reveal what he did , I don't think they contact the exs in a Clare's law request.
I know there are some women out there who make things up like this but you seem a decent person to even consider giving him the benefit of the doubt and he will have sensed this too, abusers like kind nice people they can try and gain sympathy from over the "nasty ex " etc.
Personally it would be a huge no thank you from me , you want someone in your world who you can feel safe with and never have to doubt in this capacity.
Add in how you're concerned about how you end it due to his mental health then I feel he's already working on getting in your head, this one isn't your one x

OP I just want to say you’ve done really well in trusting your gut and asking for advice on here. We learn from our mistakes

He has had depression following ending of previous relationship so am conscious will need to navigate an ending with his mental health in mind as he regularly says he doesnt want to lose me when i suggest perhaps he needs more time to heal from previous relationship.

His mental health is not your responsibility. This is in itself a red flag as it is VERY manipulative. Break up with him over the phone, or meet in public. Do it sooner rather than later.

I think you're right just to cut ties and walk away. Make sure you keep yourself safe while you do so.

I do respect your decision not to ask for a Claires Law disclosure....I'm a nosey cow and would have to ask but I think you're right to keep safe.

I wouldn't want to risk it. He could be all normal and then BAM assaults you OR kills you! Too late to leave then.

Never worth the risk

Very good points

Thank you. We are good we have great support from family and friends, I just wish I’d picked a better father for him! Well done for trusting your gut and using your brain here and I’m sorry it won’t work out with someone you probably had high hopes for but best to cut you’re losses now X

He lied. He denied it the first time he was asked. He’s hiding something. If you’d been falsely arrested wouldn’t you be willing to reveal every detail of the injustice and how awful and unfair it was? You certainly wouldn’t keep your lips sealed, surely. You’d protest your innocence.

He is probably charming and love
Bombing her now

Op I had exactly this situation. If he has a one year old baby and lives in London dm
Me! I ignored my gut feeling and believed him that she accused him maliciously as he seemed like such a lovely guy (have a look at a recent thread about 'did you believe the crazy ex story' something like that) and now i have a baby with a narcissist who left me before baby was born and is continuing to bully and harass me - he turned utterly awful
When I was pregnant and was such a charming romantic man before then.

I really echo doing a Claire's law - I don't think they can contact the ex and tell her and even so I don't think you'd have anything to apologize for - if he IS a decent guy then he'd understand you need to protect yourself, if you feel he'd get veery angry at you for doing it then you have your answer. Don't tell him
Though.

You say "as you do"
It's a question I asked when dating and I think an essential one

Really good instincts that you followed up on it. Now run!

The risk if he’s lying would outweigh the possible benefit if he is telling the truth.