Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband left baby 'trying to nap' for 2.5 hours?

65 replies

justkeepmumming · 01/02/2024 15:10

My husband gave our baby (12mo) a bottle at 12.30 then took them up to bed, said he gave them a kiss and left. This is what I do and usually he will babble and roll around for 5/10 mins then go to sleep. My husband said an hour later he was still awake, just rolling around in his bed. He went back up and patted his back said goodnight then went back downstairs. Apparently baby still wouldn't sleep and was on/off crying for the next hour. He went up and tried rocking him for 5 minutes then left again. I just got home and can hear baby whinging as they've now been laying awake in bed for 2.5 hours.

I'm really annoyed? Why would you not think "guess he isn't napping!" And get him up. Why would you try and get him to sleep for that long? That's just awful to leave him up there for 2.5 hours?

OP posts:
TomeTome · 01/02/2024 18:11

how Long does the baby usually nap for?

Fionaville · 01/02/2024 18:08

WaterHound · 01/02/2024 17:31

FFs it's a fucking low bar isn't it?

Why's it a low bar? He tried to get the baby asleep. He followed the usual routine. Unless the baby was left screaming crying (which it doesn't sound like they were) It's a bit of a storm in a tea cup.

Fionaville · 01/02/2024 18:06

VanilleA · 01/02/2024 17:25

Why would OP complain about that?

Because new mums are notoriously precious about nap routines, once they're established (I know I was a bit.) OP did explain the 'usual routine'
It's not a dig at her. Just perspective from someone who's been there, done that and can now give an outsiders point of view.

Gloriosaford · 01/02/2024 17:53

thatneverhappened · 01/02/2024 17:35

You won't get him to do nap time again then. His mission accomplished

this, he doesnt want to be left to do menial childcare tasks, that is women's work, so he deliberately upsets the baby knowing this will make you OP stressed/upset/guilty/angry and you wont want to risk leaving him in sole charge again.
(I have a male acquaintance who openly admitted to doing this when he was asked to care for his baby grandchild for an hour)

thatneverhappened · 01/02/2024 17:35

You won't get him to do nap time again then. His mission accomplished

WaterHound · 01/02/2024 17:31

Fionaville · 01/02/2024 15:14

I guess your DH couldn't win in this situation. If he'd have got the baby back up, you might have complained baby hadn't had a nap. Or if baby had fallen asleep on him downstairs, you'd have complained that DH hadn't followed the usual routine?
I'd go easy on him, it sounds like he's tried.

FFs it's a fucking low bar isn't it?

VanilleA · 01/02/2024 17:26

Are you both becoming so obsessed with naps that you are forgetting to respond to baby's cues?

VanilleA · 01/02/2024 17:25

Fionaville · 01/02/2024 15:14

I guess your DH couldn't win in this situation. If he'd have got the baby back up, you might have complained baby hadn't had a nap. Or if baby had fallen asleep on him downstairs, you'd have complained that DH hadn't followed the usual routine?
I'd go easy on him, it sounds like he's tried.

Why would OP complain about that?

Mumof2teens79 · 01/02/2024 17:24

He went back at least twice in that time by your own account, and was clearly monitoring him closely so I don't see the problem.

Icouldseetinsel · 01/02/2024 17:21

Well it depends... how long was the baby actually crying?
If its a usual nap time and baby was awake lying there but not crying i personally would leave baby there for the duration of the nap. To keep the routine. How long was the nap actually supposed to be?

TheBayLady · 01/02/2024 17:15

And the manchilds mission is complete.

WiddlinDiddlin · 01/02/2024 16:18

Some people wouldn't realise that 'lying there not napping but grizzling/crying' = stress = less beneficial than just staying up.

In their mind the nap is SO important that it must be pushed for at all cost... and so they persist beyond the point of it being useful/good for whoever it is thats meant to be napping! (It really doesn't matter if its a kid, toddler, adult, or even what species tbh. Sleep is good. Stress is bad!)

Windymcwindyson · 01/02/2024 15:14

So he can't be arsed with dc today? Imagine having that option?

Fionaville · 01/02/2024 15:14

I guess your DH couldn't win in this situation. If he'd have got the baby back up, you might have complained baby hadn't had a nap. Or if baby had fallen asleep on him downstairs, you'd have complained that DH hadn't followed the usual routine?
I'd go easy on him, it sounds like he's tried.

justkeepmumming · 01/02/2024 15:12

(Posting this after retrieving said baby - by the way! He isn't still up there!)

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread