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Original poster

For letting 18 year old son lay on my lap

243 replies

Katemax82 · 01/02/2024 07:26

Last night I was on the sofa with my 5 year old ds, he was tired and was dozing off. My 18 year old ds was the other side of me and put a blanket under his head and laid it on my lap (he wasn't feeling well for context). He husband walked in and said "your too old for that" to my ds. He claims its "fucking weird" for an 18 year old to lay his head on his mums lap. He is autistic and felt ill. Is he right?

OP posts:
MrsToriCostner · 01/02/2024 11:41

Tell him to bollocks.

CactusMactus · 01/02/2024 11:39

I hope my DD's still want a cuddle at 18!

paulhollywoodshairgel · 01/02/2024 11:33

I'm 45 and I've just had a cry and a cuddle with my dad as I'm feeling a bit out of sorts today. Your husband is in the wrong.

GurlWithACurl · 01/02/2024 11:24

Both of my DSs are in their 30s and come to me (and their DF, sometimes) for hugs. One has ASD and needs more hugs than the other, but the point is that they come to me. I don’t and, never have, made them hug. It’s entirely up to them. We are an affectionate family.

DRS1970 · 01/02/2024 11:23

FilthyforFirth · 01/02/2024 09:16

To become a man? Jesus christ, you sound wonderful.

Nothing wrong with it OP, my eldest is only 6 but loves a cuddle, I hope he still wants one at 18!

I was saying the father should behave like a modern, NOT telling the son to become man. So not sure what your issue is?

MonsteraMama · 01/02/2024 10:50

I'm one of seven siblings, ranging in ages from late twenties to late thirties. One of my favourite things every year at Christmas is all seven of us squishing up with mum on the big sofa for cuddles and the Muppets Christmas Carol. My brothers are the cuddliest of all and love a good mum snuggle. They're all happy, healthy, well adjusted adult men. "Being a man" does not mean "severing yourself from all need of affection, comfort and reassurance".

spicedlemonpie · 01/02/2024 10:46

Ive got a 19 and 21 year old both big army lads that still come and lean on me.
Sometimes when there in there funny moods they sit on my lap i cant move there to big lol.
Not strange or weird.

Chucklecheeks01 · 01/02/2024 10:44

Are you ok @okayokokay ?

IchGlaubMeinSchweinPfeift · 01/02/2024 10:41

Your husband is nasty, op

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 01/02/2024 10:41

Dd 17 still cuddles up.

okayokokay · 01/02/2024 10:41

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NewFriendlyLadybird · 01/02/2024 10:37

Idiot. My son is 22 and needed a proper comforting cuddle from me a few weeks ago. So that’s what he got. My husband would have done the same (though I was number one choice).

okayokokay · 01/02/2024 10:35

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KreedKafer · 01/02/2024 10:33

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Stop feeding this one, it'll only keep coming back

KreedKafer · 01/02/2024 10:31

Your husband's a twat. I don't think it makes a difference that your son's autistic, either; it would be just as normal and fine for him to be affectionate or want some comfort if he wasn't autistic.

Some people like a lot of physical contact with loved ones and others don't - neither one is weird! What IS weird (and also very unkind) is making an issue out of it like your husband did.

okayokokay · 01/02/2024 10:31

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Flatulence · 01/02/2024 10:30

If that's what your son wanted to do and you didn't mind then it's not weird. He was feeling poorly and wanted some reassurance. No one's ever too old for a cuddle from a parent in that situation.

HaveSomeIntrospect · 01/02/2024 10:30

Your husband is a dick!

of course it’s not weird. My children can lay their heads on my lap whenever they want, and I hope they know that I will always give them comfort whenever they need it.

MamPadi · 01/02/2024 10:29

No it's not weird, kids always need their mums no matter how old they are! Do you still hug or does DH think that's weird too? I still hug my nearly 13 year old!

madamovaries · 01/02/2024 10:28

I think it's lovely, a sign of a great mum-son relationship.

There are days when we all feel like we need our mums still (those of us lucky enough to have great mums who are still with us etc)

diamondpony80 · 01/02/2024 10:27

DS comes home from uni to get away and get some sleep (he doesn't live too far away). He'll often fall asleep on my shoulder or on my lap just watching TV. He doesn't do it in front of DH though as I have a similarly weird one who would also probably comment on it. Definite toxic masculinity - he thinks grown men shouldn't be coming home for cuddles with their mum.

Sillybert · 01/02/2024 10:19

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People like you are the reason why men suffer with mental health so much, they don’t feel like they will get the support and will be ridiculed. They feel the need to ‘man up’ and not be a ‘man-child’ 🙄

Parentofeanda · 01/02/2024 10:18

Eh? I've laid like that on my mum and I'm 30! They are still your children

Morecatsarebetter · 01/02/2024 10:17

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You sound like some sort of Victorian-era patriarch

ellie09 · 01/02/2024 10:17

Not weird at all. Especially with autistic children/adults who may need that little bit more comfort.

I hope that if my DS still wants cuddles as an adult that he feels comfortable enough to ask or prompt them as I will certainly be giving them!

Tell your DH to mind his own business.