For letting 18 year old son lay on my lap

Nothing wrong with cuddles at any age. My 16yo DD still cuddles up to me several times a day most days. I keep thinking she'll get too old to want to, but so far she hasn't. She also likes to rest her feet on my lap in the evening - for some reason my ex-boyfriend thought this was disrespectful?! My 14yo DD is much less cuddly and only really ever snuggles up if she feels ill. Both are perfectly reasonable preferences and I let them choose.

Sometimes I even lie down with my head on my daughter's lap, or snuggle into her shoulder. She's found it funny since she was a baby and she still finds it funny now. Doubtless your DH would think that was awful...

I don't have sons but I don't think teaching boys not to show affection is right.

My DS is 20 and still loves a cuddle with his mum! (As does 25 yo DD when she visits). You’re never too old!

I'm sorry @Katemax82 but your husband's a dick.

I can't imagine a time where I wouldn't want to show affection to my children, or them to me. And I certainly can't imagine my dh reacting the way yours did!

I'd say he's probably just reflecting on his own relationship with his Mum and not able to imagine himself feeling the need to do the same thing at that age.

Don't take it personally, it's lovely you have a close bond with your sons.

Wow, men cry! Who knew!

there is something very, very wrong with you. Obviously, in your world, anyone born with a penis is not allowed to express their emotions. Are you from the dark ages? People like you are the reason men suffer mental health problems in silence

@okayokokay i don’t see it as a childish insult at all.

@TheSandHurtsMyFeelings was just making a valid point as to your attitude and comments.

Yeah, you got me. The strength of your argument has absolutely demolished me. It's like you're some 15thC Moorish queen or something. Kudos.

I’m 46 and still affectionate with my mum and dad.

What IS weird, is someone I know has a son and daughter in their late 20s and a 14 year old son, and all 3 kids go in and chat to the mum when she’s in the bath and the mum goes in when the kids are in the bath, and the kids go and sit with each other when they’re in the bath 🤢🤢

U ok hun?

Someone's got ishoos here and it isn't the OP or her son.

I hug my hubby when he is sad just as I do for the other males in my family and my male friends. I’ve given male strangers a hug in times of need, I certainly don’t crush them or think any less of them.

you say it’s a luxury not extended to them but that, thankfully, not the case. Yes, YOU might not support men in that way as you are very clearly cold hearted but that’s not the case for other people.

I truly hope that my children never have someone like you in their lives.

@okayokokay nope not delusional, just a member of a normal non dysfunctional family.

No wives in my family have wanted to "crush" their husbands for wanting a cuddle, I am sorry for you if that has been your experience. Sounds very nasty but it shouldn't be the norm. All male members of the family are very comfortable showing each other affection going back several generations. Stories told to me by my older relatives indicate it was the same in the generations who died before I was born.

I don't know why you are so determined that men should not be afforded the "luxury" of being shown affection. I'm sorry for you if your life experiences have made you like this. It isn't healthy and I will not be following your example. I'm sure DS will manage not to be "crushed" by the world because of it.

Tell DH to jog on, you're never too old to have a cuddle with Mum

No its not weird.... sometimes they just need a little bit of comfort from their mum. My 18 year old tries occasionally but we can't both fi on the sofa 😂 nothing wrong with giving older children some affection

Your dh is being a jerk. Snuggling up to a parent (however old you or the "child" is) is totally adorable and absolutely what a parent and child relationship should be like.

Your husband is being a prick.

@okayokokay well wotevs, you're not really making a lot of sense now.

To summarise, nowt wrong with ANYONE having a cuddle and getting some completely innocent comfort from ANYONE they love at ANY age and irrespective of their sex. It's a healthy human activity and has been since the dawn of time.

Why do you have a problem with that?

Quite funny how you've accurately identified a problem - men aren't allowed to be pampered and are insulted if they show softness or vulnerability - and then decided that everyone needs to lean even further into it.

Of course he is wrong! I am a grown adult with two children and I still cuddle up and lay my head on my mum the same way and I probably will never stop.

I would be super upset if my kids grew up and didn't want to do the same because they feel they are way too big after a certain age. As a mother that's still your baby no matter what age!

There’s nothing to ‘fall for’. The son wanted some affection, and he got it.

@okayokokay

Aixa al-Hurra was the feisty, determined mother of Boabdil, the last Emir of Granada. She earned her place in history for having rebuked her son for the loss of Granada in 1492, famously quoting;
“Do not cry as a woman for what you could not defend as a man.”
Aixa was a politically active queen, wielding a great amount of influence on matters of state during the final years of the Emirate of Granada. No woman in Moorish history fought like Aixa to save Granada from its final demise, which resulted in the famous moment when her son Boabdil handed over the key of Granada to 15th century Catholic powerhouse of Isabel of Castille and Fernando of Aragon

Yeah, she may have been a feisty woman but she sure had a whole load of issues with internalised misogyny going on there!